<p>&lt;p&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE LISTENING SKILLS FOR MAJOR AND PLANNED GIFT FUNDRAISERS Property of William T. Sturtevant Fundraising Consultant No reprints without permission THE IMPORTANCE AND ESSENTIALS OF COMMUNICATIONS CREDIT TO SARAH A. ARCISZEWSKI OF WMET, NEW YORK TWO MODES OF COMMUNICATIONS:TWO MODES OF COMMUNICATIONS: ? ? SURVIVALSURVIVAL TYPIFIED BY PAUSES, INSECURITY TYPIFIED BY PAUSES, INSECURITY AND CONCERNS WITH SELF (E.G., THE NEXT AND CONCERNS WITH SELF (E.G., THE NEXT QUESTION OR STATEMENT); ME/ME QUESTION OR STATEMENT); ME/ME CONVERSATION.CONVERSATION. ? ? CONNECTION CONNECTION NATURAL, FLOWING NATURAL, FLOWING CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH EACH WHO FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER; ME/YOU CONVERSATION.OTHER; ME/YOU CONVERSATION. ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS FOR CONNECTION MODE ? EMPATHY FOCUS ON THE OTHER PERSON. ? ACTIVE LISTENING. ? SINCERE INTEREST. ? ENTHUSIASM. LESSONS IN ACTIVE LISTENING FROM SALES EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING FOUR MAJOR REASONS WHY WE ARE NOT EFFECTIVE LISTENERS: ? WE HAVE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO LISTEN ? WE BELIEVE THAT FUNDRAISING IS TALKING ? LISTENING REQUIRES FOCUSED CONCENTRATION ? OUR PARADIGMS DISTORT WHAT WE HEAR LISTENING SKILLS CAN BE BROKEN DOWN INTO THREE BASIC COMPONENTS 1. ATTENDING BEHAVIOR NONVERBAL COMMUNICATIONS THAT SHOW THE OTHER PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. SILENCE IS POWERFUL BECAUSE IT: nSHOWS ATTENTION TO THE SPEAKER nAVOIDS JUDGEMENTAL OR DEFENSIVE RESPONSES nCREATES MILD PRESSURE FOR THE SPEAKER TO KEEP ON TALKING PASSIVE LISTENING HAS TWO ELEMENTS: (1) ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AN EXCELLENT WAY TO ENCOURAGE CONVERSATION (2) “DOOR OPENERS” INVITE THE PROSPECT TO OPEN UP, E.G., “TELL ME MORE” 2. PASSIVE LISTENING2. PASSIVE LISTENING USE OF QUESTIONS TO CONCENTRATE ON WHAT PROSPECT IS SAYING, CLARIFY INFORMATION, AND TO PROVE YOU UNDERSTAND AND EMPATHIZE. 3.3. ACTIVE LISTENINGACTIVE LISTENING - - SOME GOOD TECHNIQUES FOR THE ACTIVE LISTENER WHEN YOU ARE CERTAIN YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HAS BEEN SAID ? “WHAT I HEAR YOU SAYING IS . . .” ? “IT SEEMS TO YOU . . .” ? “AS YOU SEE IT . . .” ? “I REALLY HEAR YOU SAYING THAT . . .” ? “YOU FEEL . . .” WHEN YOU FEEL LESS CERTAIN YOU UNDERSTAND ? “IT APPEARS YOU . . .” ? “CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG, BUT . . .” ? “LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTAND; YOU . . .” ? “I THINK I HEAR YOU SAYING . . .” THE GOAL OF THE EFFECTIVE LISTENER/FUNDRAISER IS TO ENCOURAGE THE PROSPECT TO TALK, THEN LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND HIS/HER VIEWS AND UNIQUE NEEDS AND FEARS RELATING TO THE GIFT DECISION. THIS MEANS LISTENING WITHOUT AN AGENDA. ONLY IN THIS MANNER CAN YOU TRULY BECOME PARTNER/CONSULTANT. WHY QUESTIONS ARE SO HELPFUL CREDIT TO MAJOR ACCOUNT SALES STRATEGY BY NEIL RACKHAM ? QUESTIONS REVEAL NEEDS. ? QUESTIONS EXPOSE PROBLEMS. ? QUESTIONS REVEAL VALUES. ? QUESTIONS UNCOVER MOTIVATIONAL “TRIGGERS.” ? QUESTIONS REVEAL STRATEGIC INFORMATION. ? QUESTIONS CONTROL THE DISCUSSION. ? QUESTIONS ARE AN ALTERNATIVE TO DISAGREEMENT. ? QUESTIONS GIVE THINKING TIME. TYPES OF QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK TO SECURE INFORMATION ? CONFIRMATION VALIDATE DATA OR POINT OUT INACCURACIES. “ARE YOU STILL CONCERNED ABOUT ESCALATING RATES OF LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN?” ? NEW INFORMATION TO UPDATE INFORMATION AND FILL IN GAPS. MAY TELL YOU THE RESULTS THE DONOR WANTS. “HOW DID YOU SETTLE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE WORLD?” ? ATTITUDE QUESTIONS IDENTIFY PERSONAL NEEDS, VALUES, ATTITUDES AND SENSE OF URGENCY. “WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?” OR “HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT _?” ? COMMITMENT QUESTIONS HELP YOU LOCATE YOUR CURRENT POSITION IN THE SALE. “AM I CORRECT IN MY UNDERSTANDING THAT WE SHOULD FINALIZE THE ARRANGEMENT FOR YOUR GIFT?” QUESTIONS WHICH WILL UNLOCK EMOTIONS FROM SCOTT WEST OF STORYTELLING FOR FINANCIAL ADVISORS ? WHERE ARE YOU (OR YOUR FAMILY) FROM? ? HOW AND WHY DID YOU SETTLE ON YOUR LIFES WORK? ? WHAT ARE THE GUIDING PRINCIPLES THAT ALLOWED YOU TO BE SUCCESSFUL? ? WHAT IS THE BEST BUSINESS DECISION YOU EVER MADE? ? WHAT IS THE BEST PERSONAL DECISION YOU EVER MADE? ? IF YOU COULD PASS ALONG ONE LESSON TO YOUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN, WHAT WOULD IT BE? ? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM THE CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS YOU SUPPORT? ? HOW DO YOU MEASURE SUCCESS? TIPS FOR ASKING QUESTIONS FROM NON-MANIPULATIVE SELLING ? ASK PERMISSION TO ASK QUESTIONS. ? START WITH BROAD TOPICS, THEN NARROW THE FOCUS. ? BUILD ON PREVIOUS RESPONSES. ? AVOID JARGON OR VERNACULAR. ? IF YOU HAVE TO ASK A SENSITIVE QUESTION, EXPLAIN WHY. ? PHRASE QUESTIONS SO PROSPECTS ANSWER IN A POSTIVE FASHION. ? ASK WHAT GENERAL BENEFITS ARE DESIRED. POSSIBLE QUESTIONS TO ASK PROSPECTS FROM THE RELATIONSHIP EDGE IN BUSINESS BY JERRY ACUFF AND WALLY WOOD ? WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOURE NOT WORKING? ? WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL (AND HOW DID YOU CHOOSE IT)? ? WHERE DID YOU GROW UP AND WHAT WAS IT LIKE GROWING UP THERE? ? WHAT DO YOU ENJOY READING? ? HOW DID YOU SETTLE ON YOUR PROFESSION? ? PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR F&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;</p>