211 The One With the Lesbian Weddingat Rosss. Carol and Susan are picking Ben upROSS: Ok. Heres his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh.oh, him. Hi!CAROL: So how did everything go?ROSS: Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.CAROL: Well, weve gotta go.ROSS: Ok.SUSAN: clears her throatCAROL: Oh, right. Um, Ive got some news. Its about us.ROSS: Oh, you and me?CAROL: Uh, no, Susan and me.SUSAN: The other us.ROSS: Ok.CAROL: Were uh, were getting married.ROSS: As in, I now pronounce you wife and wife married?CAROL: Anyway, wed like you to come, but we totally understand if you dont want to.ROSS: Why wouldnt I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.CAROL: Look I just thought that.ROSS: No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldnt I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldnt revel in your joy? Im revelling baby, believe me!SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?ROSS: Mmm hmmm.CAROL: Want us to go?ROSS: Uh-huh.at Rachel and MonicasROSS: This is so cool. Youre actually gonna be on television.JOEY: It really hit me last night. Im gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives.MONICA: Yes! Carol and Susans caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and shes in a full body cast.ROSS, CHANDLER & JOEY: Yes!MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as Ive never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isnt a problem for you, is it?ROSS: Would it matter?MONICA: Oh, you are so great! kisses him Thank you!JOEY: Are you really not going?ROSS: I am really not going. I dont get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.ROSS: If you wanna call that a reason.CHANDLER: singing to the tune of Mister Rogers Neighborhood Whos the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.MONICA: Ross, I thought you were over this.ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? Shes my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of youd expect me to be there.JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, shed be like the worst lesbian ever.RACHEL: entering hurriedly Did I miss it? Did I miss it?JOEY: No, Im on right after this guy shoots himself.CHANDLER: Whoa, shes pretty.JOEY: Yeah, and shes really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.RACHEL: Im sorry, what?MONICA: What?JOEY: Its like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while youre thinkin of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. CHANDLER: Oh, ok.JOEY: Theres my scene, theres my scene. Joey on tv Mrs. Wallace, Im Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sisters neurosurgeon. MRS. WALLACE: Is she gonna be all right?JOEY: Im afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a.subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.CHANDLER: Nice!RACHEL: Thats great!ROSS: Excellent!CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin to smell something.Monica and RachelsROSS: That is so good! Do it again!JOEY: All right, all right. Damnit Braverman, its right there on the chart!CHANDLER: Thats great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.ROSS: No no, thats me.CHANDLER: Oh, yeah. ROSS: Oh, hello.PHOEBE: Oh, thanks. I couldnt uh.ROSS: Is everything ok?PHOEBE: Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.ROSS: Oh my god.CHANDLER: Thats a little more relaxed than you want them to get.PHOEBE: Yeah, um, she was 82 years old. Her name was um, Mrs. Adelman.MONICA: Oh, honey.PHOEBE: Yeah, its just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, ok, Ill have some breakfast, and then Ill take a little walk, and then Ill have my massage. Little did she know God was thinking, Ok, but thats it. Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I dont think it went very far.RACHEL: What do you mean?PHOEBE: I think it went into me.Everyone takes a step back from PhoebeCentral PerkMONICA: God, this is so hard. I cant decide between lamb or duck.CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie wouldve been called Silence of the Ducks.RACHEL: Ok, who ordered what?ROSS: Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?RACHEL: Oh god.JOEY: I cant believe youre so uptight about your mom comin.RACHEL: I know, but its just