519 The One Where Ross Cant FlirtScene: Chandler and Joeys, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.Ross: Hey!Chandler: Hey!Ross: Wow! You look nice. Whats the occasion?Chandler: Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, weve got reservations at Ja George.Ross: Wow! Howd you get in there?Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didnt get desert. (Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. Its the pizza delivery girl.)Delivery Girl: Hi Chandler!Chandler: Hey Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut.Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class wouldve been a lot more interesting.Caitlin: Its uh, 27 dollars even.Chandler: Oh, okay. (Hands her the money.) Here you go. (The duck starts quacking.)Caitlin: Hey, wheres the chicken?Chandler: Oh, hes in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.Caitlin: (laughs) Great. Ill see you later!Chandler: Okay, bye!(He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.)Ross: What the hell was that?!Chandler: What?Ross: The flirting! Arent you supposed to be going out with, I dont know hmm, lets say my sister?!Chandler: I was not flirting.Ross: It was totally flirting. Somebody got a haircut (Makes some whiney, nasally noises.)Chandler: Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all.Ross: Yeah, right.Chandler: You wanna see flirting? Ill show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)Ross: (backing away) Im good.Opening CreditsScene: Monica and Rachels, Rachel and Phoebe are in the kitchen.Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I cant believe hes going to be on Law & Order!Phoebe: I know. But dont you think that it should be called Order and Law?Rachel: No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.Phoebe: Dont get me started on that.(Ross and Chandler enter with the pizzas.)Chandler: I was not flirting.Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!Rachel: Whats going on?Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!Chandler: I was not and oh God, shh!Ross: Well Im sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her its the guy whos single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.Phoebe: Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.Ross: WellChandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?(Ross looks at Rachel.)Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; youve been married since then. I think its okay that we see other people.Ross: Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.Rachel: Hm-mmm.Ross: And shes just so sexy and funny and has the cutest littleRachel: Okay, yknow what? We dont need her measurements. Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know shes pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!Ross: This is perfect! Shell have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, Ill turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh Im so glad you dont eat meat.Phoebe: See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look whos here! You remember my grandmother!Rachel: Big night!Phoebe: This is so cool!Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!Joey: Chandler, she doesnt understand a word of English.Chandler: Im sorry, I thought you were Joeys other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) Ive done it again.Joey: Shes my biggest fan. Yeah, shes the only one in the family thats believed in me. (They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since Im not Italian and dont understand one word, well move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that Im English. Not that theres anything wrong with that, its just that Im not. Yknow I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)Joey: Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born soMonica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey! Happy Anniversary!Chandler: Happy Anniversary, 10 months! (They kiss.)Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in LondonChandler: Uhh, Joeys grandmother is right there. (Points)Monica: Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesnt?Chandler: The one that doesnt.Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! Im gonna go get ready.Chandler: Hey, why dont you wear those earrings I gave you?Monica: Thats a great idea! I was saving them for something special.Chandler: Okay.Monica: (runs over to Phoebe) You have got to go home!Phoebe: But I like it here!Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you bo