820 The One With The Baby ShowerScene: Monica and Chandlers, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.Rachel: (entering) Hi!Monica: Hey!Phoebe: Hey!Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?Phoebe: About twenty, a couple people from work who had something else to do. Monica: Also both of your sisters called and neither can make it.Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.Monica: Oh my God, your mother!Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.Rachel: My God!Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other peopleMonica: (interrupting her) Oh give it a rest!Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.Monica: Okay, yknow what? Dont worry, okay? Well take care of it. Well call her. Just go home and get ready.Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?Rachel: I dont know.Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.Monica: Yeah, Im sorry. Im-Im so sorry.Mrs. Green: For what dear? For not inviting me or lying about it?Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)Phoebe: Isnt it at three?Monica: Son of a bitch! (Calls Mrs. Green again.)Opening CreditsScene: Joeys Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.Chandler: Hey Joe! You wanna shoot some hoops?Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.Ross: Oh cool!Chandler: Thats great.Joey: Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day Ill (In a sexy voice) Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night Ill be (In an announcers voice) Joey Trrrribbiani!Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.Ross: Well do you want some help?Joey: Oh really? Thatd be great! You guys can be the contestants!Ross: Awesome!Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.Joey: (announcer voice) All right! Lets play Bamboozled!Chandler: Bamboozled?Joey: Yeah, isnt that a cool name?Ross: (simultaneously with Chandler) Yeah!Chandler: (simultaneously with Ross) No!Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?Ross: Well uh, I-Im a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uhJoey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?Chandler: Well Joey, Im a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! (Waves.)Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?Chandler: Bogota.Joey: Its Ba-go-ta, but close enough. Now, you can either pass your turn to Ross or pick a Wicked Wango card.Chandler: What does a Wicked Wango card do?Joey: I should know that. Lets see, just one moment please. Umm, here we are, a Wicked Wango card determines whether you go higher or lower.Chandler: Higher or lower than what?Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!Phoebe: What? Hes gonna be dressed as a baby! (Mrs. Green enters.) Oh hi Mrs. Green!Monica: Hi!Phoebe: Im so glad you could make it.Monica: Yes, thank you so much. And again, were so sorry. We could not feel worse about it.Mrs. Green: Try. Theres my little girl. (Goes over to Rachel.)Monica: Shes still mad.Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.Monica: Phoebe, Sandras mad at you too. It-it doesnt bo