113 The One With the BoobiesScene: Monica and Rachels, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.Rachel: That is IT! You just barge in here, you dont knockChandler: Im sorry!Rachel: You have no respect for anybodys privacy!Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.Rachel: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!Chandler: Can I just say one thing?Rachel: What? What?!Chandler: Thats a relatively open weave and I can still see your. nipular areas.Rachel: Oh!(She storms off)Opening CreditsScene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Yknow? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.Roger: Thats pretty much it.Phoebe: Oops!Roger: But you tell it really well, sweetie.Phoebe: Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.Roger: Okay. Ill miss you.Phoebe: Isnt he great?Rachel: Hes so cute! And he seems to like you so much.Phoebe: I know, I know. So sweet. and so complicated. And for a shrink, hes not too shrinky, yknow?Monica: So, you think youll do it on his couch?Phoebe: Oh, I dont know, I dont know. I think thats a little weird, yknow? Vinyl.Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)Rachel: No, Im sorry, were all out of those. Anybody else?Chandler: Okay.Roger: Did I, uh, did I miss something?Chandler: No, shes still upset because I saw her boobies.Ross: You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies?Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.Rachel: Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?Phoebe: Yeah, cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.Chandler: Yknow, I dont know why youre so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, thats it? I mean, mittens are nice.Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.Roger: Youre so funny! Hes really funny! I wouldnt wanna be there when when the laughter stops.Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. Whatd you mean by that?Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Yknow, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.Chandler: Huh.Roger: I mean hey! I just met you, I dont know you from Adam. .Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?Roger: Its textbook.(Joey enters with his dad)Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?All: Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure Im better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I dont know this one.Phoebe: Oh, this is my friend Roger.Roger: Hi. Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.Roger: You too, sir.Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, scuse me. So Ross, uh, hows the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandlers shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!(Chandler stays stonefaced)Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.Mr. Tribbiani: Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but its getting real late nowJoey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and. Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isnt Ma?(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)Mr. Tribbiani: Her names Ronni. Shes a pet mortician. Joey: Sure. So how long you been. (Goes back to chopping)Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?Joey: Since then?!Mr. Tribbiani: No, its only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so youd know that I wasnt always such a terrible guy. .Joe. Yever been in love?Joey: .I dknow.Mr. Tribbiani: Then yhavent. Youre burning your tomatoes.Joey: Youre one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dads in love big time. And the worst part of it is, its with two different women.Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of em is Ma.Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of ems Ma. Whats the matter with you.Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dads affair.Joey: Its like if you woke up one day and found out your dad