第一篇Dear Elle,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you gave me help at the school party last Sunday. If it had not been for your assistance in you lend me your beautiful dress, I fear that I would have been appearing in once a year campus dancing party.Everyone agrees that it was you who generously offered dress to me. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.Yours sincerely,Li Ming修改意见：Dear Elle,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you gave me help(for 后面不能加句子，可改为 your help) at the school party last Sunday. If it had not been for your assistance in you lend(改为 lending) me your beautiful dress, I fear that I would (加 not)have been appearing (appeared)in(改为 at) once a year (可以用一个定语从句来修饰，此处删掉)campus dancing party(加上 ,which is held only once every year ).Every one agrees that it was you who generously offered(加 the ) dress to me. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.Yours sincerely,Li Ming2 分微点评：第一段的最后一句话中，由于没有写 not，使文章的意思完全相反，因此，一定要好好研究一下虚拟语气的用法。另外，for 后面是不能加句子的。第二篇Dear Bob,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you to help me to improve my English during these days. If it had not been for your assistance in teaching me various knowledge including the culture of English, Then help me to practice English face to face, I fear that I would have been seek to the way of learning English for a long time without your help.Everyone agrees that it was you who are warmly and likely to help others without the pay. Again，I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.修改意见：Dear Bob,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for you to help me to improve my English during these days. If it had not been for your assistance in teaching me various knowledge including the culture of English, Then(删除) help(改为helping) me to practice English face to face, I fear that I would have been seek(改为 seeking) to the way of learning English for a long time without your help.(删除)Every one agrees that it was you who are warmly and likely(likely 是很可能的意思)to help others without the pay(it was who.是强调句，此句可以改为，it was you who are so warmly to help others for free). Again，I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.4 分微点评：写完书信要有 yours sincerely 和你的名字。英语的句号是.此外，建议你看一下关于强调句和虚拟语气的知识。第三篇Dear Bob,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for the help you give me about learning English. If it had not been for your assistance in a variety of activities including holding funny discussions with me, teaching me singing English songs, playing simple English games, and so on, I fear that I would have been searching a wrong and difficult way to learn English and feeling unhappy to learn it.Every one agrees that it was you who give me many opportunities to speak English loudly, beacuse you know that I am so shy to talk with others by English. Your help raise my level of proficiency in English, and now I enjoy greatest interst in English both listening and writing.Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.Yours sincerely,Li Ming修改意见：Dear Bob,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for the help you give(改为 gave) me about learning English. If it had not been for your assistance in (in 后面要加 doing sth.)a variety of activities including(删除) holding funny discussions with me, teaching me singing English songs,(加 and) playing simple English games, and so on(删除), I fear that I would have been searching(改为 going) a wrong and difficult way to learn English and feeling unhappy to learn it(删除).Every one agrees that it was you who give(改为 gave) me many opportunities to speak English loudly, (改为.because 首字母大写)beacuse(拼写错误，改为because) you know that I am so shy to talk with others by(改为 in) English. Your help raise my level of proficiency(中式英语) in English, and now I enjoy ( have)greatest (改为 great)interst(拼写错误 interest) in English both listening and writing.Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! Please accept my gratitude.Yours sincerely,Li Ming3 分微点评：标点符号与后面的单词之间空一格。叹号后面的第一个单词首字母也要大写。单词拼写的错误尽量避免。建议你好好学习一下有关虚拟语气的知识点，多读一些英语文章，可有效杜绝中式英语。第四篇Dear Bob,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for your warm help in the process of my seeking job conformed to my past decades training, after i graduated from peking university.If it had not been for your assistance in recommendation to the prestigious company in China. i fear that i would have been on the job road back and forth .i really appreciate this precious opportunity ,which you offered. every one agrees that it was you who wrote a letter to the esteemed company boss, regarding as my qualifications ,education back ground ,and my special skills at computer program which i have a huge intrest in. Again, I would like to express my warm thanks to you! please accept my gratitude.修改意见：Dear Bob,I am writing to extend my sincere gratitude for your warm help in the process of my(删除 my) see