老友记老友记 txttxt 版剧本中英文对照版剧本中英文对照 503503 TheThe OneOne HundredthHundredth503 The One HundredthScene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.Nurse: Hi.Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! Im umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?Phoebe: Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?Nurse: Well.Phoebe: Oh my God!Ross: Its all right.Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)Phoebe: Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay.Rachel: I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that!Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Yknow before it all starts?Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, its me, Aunt Phoebe. I cant wait to see you. Please dont hurt me! (Monica and Chandler come running in.)Ross: Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!(Theres a pause as they figure out what to say.)Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.Chandler: Thats right.(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)Rachel: You-youre not wearing a jacket.Monica: Oh man! I did it again!Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!Joey: I gotta get the before shot!(She shakes her head no.)Opening CreditsScene: The delivery room, Rachel and Ross are entering.Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, shes not coming.Phoebe: What?!Ross: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.Phoebe: Oh my God, shes so stupid!Ross: Look, Pheebs-Pheebs, its gonna be okay.Phoebe: Thats easy for you to say, I dont see three kids coming out your vagina!Rachel: Honey, listen, yknow what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.Ross: Yeah, hes head of the department.Phoebe: All right-Ooh! Oh dead God, save me! Monica: What?Phoebe: Im having my first contraction!Chandler: Oh no.Phoebe: Ooh, its not bad.Chandler: Okay.Joey: Oh! (In an announcer type voice) And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! (He grabs his side and doubles over in pain.)Chandler: Hey! You okay?Joey: Ooh, something hurts!Phoebe: Ooh, its sympathy pains. Ohh, thats so sweet!Joey: Are they? I didnt know I cared that much.(The doctor, Dr. Harad, enters.)Ross: Hello.Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, Im Dr. Harad, Im going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, youre gonna be in good hands. Ive been doing this for a long time. Ill be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)Chandler: Did he just say, he loves Fonzie?Monica: Thats what it sounded like.Chandler: All right.Frank: (entering) Hey!All: Hey!Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?Phoebe: No-no-no! We havent started yet. Wheres Alice?Frank: Uh, Delaware. Shes on her way though, so until she gets here, Im gonna be your coach. But dont worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.Chandler: Yeah, thats when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.Frank: Yeah.Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.Rachel: (entering) Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.Joey: Oh my!Rachel: Theyre male nurses.Joey: Not in my head.Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I dont think so.Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-youre the one whos been telling me to get over Ross and move on. Im moving on, and youre moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you dont wanna go.Monica: Umm, why dont you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then Ill tell you if its true.Rachel: What?Monica: Harder than it sounds. Isnt it?Rachel: Okay, youre coming with me, and I also told them that if were still here when they get off that well go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! Theres always room for Jell-O.Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?Joey: Oh, its easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandmas chicken salad.Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (Hes carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies. (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, whic