Desperate Housewives - Episode 02.01 - NextThis was typed by Lucy, Andrea, and Amanda, mere humans, and mistakes are possible. If you find any, no matter how trivial, please let me know. (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)In the interest of finishing the transcripts faster, screen caps will no longer be placed on the transcripts. You can find screen caps at the following websites: Desperate HousewivesWisteria LaneThe SuburbsIf you know of any other screen caps sites, please e-mail them to me: (desperate_housewives at yahoo dot com)Guest stars“Andrew Van de Kamp“ - Shawn Pyfrom“Danielle Van de Kamp“ - Joy Lauren“Matthew Applewhite“ - Mehcad Brooks“Preston Scavo“ - Brent Kinsman“Porter Scavo“ - Shane Kinsman“Parker Scavo“ - Zane Huett“John Rowland“ - Jesse Metcalf“Nina Fletcher“ - Joely Fisher“Ed Ferrara“ - Currie Graham“Officer Romslo“ - Andy Umberger“Reverend Sikes“ - Dakin Matthews“Phyllis Van de Kamp“ - Shirley Knight“Stu“ - Charlie Babcock“Receptionist“ - Nikki Braendlin“Ida Greenberg“ - Pat Crawford Brown“Haggard Woman“ - Stacy Solodkin Written by: Jenna Bans Susan: “Yeah, hes crazy!“Mike: “Still, I dont think he meant to hurt anybody.“Susan: “Uh, hello! Uh, he was waiting there for you to come home so he could kill you.“Officer Romslo: “Is that what happened when you got home? The kid took a shot at you?“Mike: “Actually, Susan fired the gun.“Susan spits out the cotton.Susan: “Okay, thats because I was wrestling it away from Zach so that he wouldnt shoot you.“The officer stares at Susan as her mouth begins to bleed again.Susan: “Oh, God! Oh, theres blood.“Julie: “Could we do this later? Shes kind of a mess right now.“Susan: “Yeah.“Mike: “Yeah, I think I can fill in the rest for you.“Officer Romslo: “Id appreciate it. You feel better, Mrs. Mayer.“Susan: “Thanks.“Officer Romslo and Mike leave the room.Susan: “Ow! That hurts.“Julie: “Im gonna get you more ice. “Susan: “Okay.“Hospital HallwayJulie comes out of the room and sees Mike and the officer talking. They don 抰 see her.Mike: “No, Im telling you. Susan really flew off the handle when she jumped the kid.“Julie looks shocked.Officer Romslo: “So youre saying this was more of a domestic squabble?“Mike: “Definitely, yeah. Are we required to press charges?“Officer Romslo: “Well, youre not really required, but its something you should really consider when a handgun is involved.“They walk out of Julie 抯 hearing. Julie stares after them, then goes to get ice. The clock on the wall reads 4 minutes to 9:00.Gabrielle 抯抯 HouseHouseGabrielle gets out of the shower and wraps a towel around herself. She looks on the floor and sees rose petals strewn all over the floor. She follows the petals into her bedroom and finds John laying on her bed, in his boxer shorts, drinking from a champagne flute.Gabrielle: “John! How did you get in here?“John: “I know where you keep the key. Mimosa?“Gabrielle: “No, Im pregnant, you jackass!“John: “I made yours with seltzer.“Gabrielle: “Do you have any idea what youve done? That little stunt you pulled yesterday in the courtroom could get Carlos sent away for eight years!“John: “Yeah, I thought you might be a little mad about that. But once you calm down, youll see that its just the two of us. Its gonna be awesome.“Gabrielle sees John duffle bag on the floor.Gabrielle: “You brought luggage?“Gabrielle, still wrapped in a towel, carries the bag down the stairs. John follows her to the front door.John: “Hes gone. We dont have to sneak around anymore. We can have a real relationship. Its whats best for the three of us.“Gabrielle: “The three of us? How exactly does that benefit Carlos?“John: “Im talking about my baby.“Gabrielle: “You dont know its your baby. I dont even know its your baby. And I dont wanna know cause it doesnt matter!“Gabrielle opens the front door and throws John 抯 bag outside, grunting.John: “So what, you dont love me?“Gabrielle: “Well, up until the point that you told my husband we were having an affair, I was quite fond of you. Since then, not a fan!“Gabrielle shoves John outside and slams the door. The clock shows 2 minutes to 9:00.Lynette 抯抯 HouseHouseLynette comes running downstairs, dressed professionally, with a briefcase in her hand.Lynette: “Hey!“Tom: “Hey.“The kids are sitting in the living room, finger painting.Lynette: “Oh, why on earth would you let them finger paint before breakfast?“Tom: “Its my job to clean that up now, so its my call, right?“Lynette pours herself coffee.Lynette: “Youre right. Im sorry.“Tom: “Hey, I thought the meeting wasnt until one.“Lynette: “Oh, I have a thousand things to do before that. Borrow a decent scarf from Bree, buy a lipstick I dont hate.“Parker runs up to Lynette, holding a picture. His hands are covered in finger paint.Parker: “Mommy, Mommy, look!“Lynette quickly backs away.Lynette: “Aah! No! No! No, nobody touches Mommy, okay? I love you, I love your finger painting, but if you touch me with those me