Author: Mark A. D. Long, Ed.D. Health Promotion Program Navy Environmental Health Center Graphics: Carrlette Parker Health Promotion Program Managing My Anger How often do you get irritated? Do you become frustrated on a daily basis? Do you find yourself overreacting to minor or petty difficulties? Do you often have a bad day? Would you say that you are good with managing your anger? Who is prone to getting angry? You are as well as others have the potential of becoming angry! When you are feeling ill, hungry, fatigued, harried, overwhelmed and worried, and if you believe that becoming angry is normal and okay, then the chances of getting angry increases! What about you? How are your present circumstances and what is your state of mind? Effective Anger Managers Those that are good anger managers tend to be calm and relaxed; and know how to defuse, and unwind quicklyThey also know how to think positively, believe they are in control of their actions, behaviors, thoughts and moods, and can handle difficult situationsDoes this describe you or a friend? What is Anger? Anger is a common feeling, thought and behavior. It is not so much the feeling or the thought that is the trouble- it is what we do when we are angry that is the issue! Remember that anger may be reduced but not eliminated! How many options and choices do you give yourself when you are experiencing anger? Do you have several ways to control your angry feelings, cynical thinking and aggressive behaviors? Do you use them regularly? Do they work? Here is an opportunity for you to develop and learn new ways to cope with your anger! Are you ready? Here are some proven strategies for managing your anger. Read on, try them and practice these techniques! Laugh It is hard to laugh and feel, think and act angry at the same time! Use your sense of humor in this situation! Find the comical and humorous aspect of the situation And most importantly laugh at and with yourself! When was the last time you used your humor to defuse your anger? Try it today Cool off & Chill Out “Lose not thy cooleth” If and when your anger system is mobilized, you need to slow down and put the brakes on your anger Cooling off is critical and important! Overreacting, blowing up and lashing out usually only makes your anger worse, and may harm others, the situation and as well as yourself! Remember the Biblical quote- A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11 You need several effective and positive ways to unwind, destress, and to reduce your anger arousal system Cooling off offers you the opportunity to do soHere are a variety of chilling techniques. Consider some vigorous physical activity- running, cycling, aerobics, or sports as an outlet for your anger reduction Exercising is a great way to burn off negative energy and anger and to get back into balance Even a less intense activity such as walking may help! Think of and engage in some type of exercise when you feel angry This physical activity can be a good outlet! Perhaps taking a few minutes to breath may defuse your angerTake some slow, deep breaths Slow down your body and your responses. Try using a muscle relaxation technique. Allow all that tension and your frustrations to slide away Consider moving slower, talking slower Breath and relax Recall the passage from Proverbs “A soft answer turns away wrath, but angry words stir up trouble” Consider a Time Out! Perhaps you need a few minutes to decompress, wind down and to regroup. Give yourself the time to calm down and to cool off Distancing until you calm down often helps! Later you may return when you are composed and thinking clearly. Often giving yourself a few minutes when you go from one intense activity- such as work, to another busy active place like home, may help ease the transition and gives you time to unwind and prepare for the next challenge and fun! Try it! Distract As you probably know, the more that you focus on your anger, and dwell upon it, the angrier you remain! Your anger is also apt to stick around longer when you hold onto and keep it So consider some strategies to distract yourself from your anger! This may involve using some positive and pleasant distracters such as reading, listening to music, pursuing a hobby, or watching TV. Consider focusing on an upcoming positive activity, or recalling a joyous moment! The key is to change your focus How about thinking about something else! Or focus on a particular object in the room, or another focal point such as a visual image, a word or a tune Remember that distracting yourself from your anger may help you defuse it before you react poorly or impulsively! Reason “Im the one in control and can think this through” I merely took the energy it takes to point and wrote some blues Duke Ellington Typically anger may begin