学来的幸福学来的幸福 Learning to Be HappyLearning to Be Happy 智智 慧慧 父父 母母-好爸爸好妈妈训练班好爸爸好妈妈训练班- Parenting Class (I)Parenting Class (I)宋志颖宋志颖 博士博士 心理医生心理医生Parenting -A New Learning Experiment, Experience,知己知彼，百战百胜！知己知彼，百战百胜！Being a child and Growing up -Learning to Be a Person learning 1.knowledge acquired by systematic study in any field of scholarly application. 2.the act or process of acquiring knowledge or skill. 3.Psychology. the modification of behavior through practice, training, or experience -It may refer to knowledge obtained by systematic study or by trial and errorby trial and error. learning. verb (used with object) 1.to acquire knowledge of or skill in by study, instruction, or experience: to learn French; to learn to ski. 2.to become informed of or acquainted with; ascertain: to learn the truth. 3.to memorize: He learned the poem so he could recite it at the dinner. 4.to gain (a habit, mannerism, etc.) by experience, exposure to example, or the like; acquire: She learned patience from her father. 5.(of a device or machine, esp. a computer) to perform an analogue of human learning with artificial intelligence. 6.Nonstandard. to instruct in; teach. verb (used without object) 7.to acquire knowledge or skill: to learn rapidly. 8.to become informed (usually fol. by of): to learn of an accident. What is the definition of parent/parenting? From physical, emotion, behavior, Purpose: Remember, the goal is not to control the child, but for him or her to learn self-control.管教孩子的目的不是 “管”， 而是“教”Basics for a childs good physical health: Nutritious food 营养 Adequate shelter and sleep 睡眠 Exercise 锻炼 Immunizations 免疫 Healthy living environment 健康的 生活环境Basics for a childs good mental health: Unconditional love from family- Children need to know that your love does not depend on their accomplishments. 无条件的爱和关怀 Self-confidence and high self-esteem Praise Them 鼓励表扬他们 Set Realistic Goals 设立事实求是的目标 Be Honest 真实 Avoid Sarcastic Remarks 不要用讽刺挖苦 类的言语Basics for a childs good mental health (cont.): The opportunity to play with other children 与其他孩子一起玩耍的机会 Encouraging teachers and supportive caretakers 老师和看护着 Communicate 沟通 Celebrate accomplishments 为成就而自豪 Safe and secure surroundings 周围环境带来的安全感 Develop social skills in your child competent and high confidence 培养孩子的社交技能和自信自强，What do you want your child to be?What do you want your child to be? Happy幸福 Respectful尊重 Self-reliant自立 Healthy健康 Confidence自信 Cooperative合作 Responsible负责任Babies birth to 18 month oldBabies birth to 18 month old Babies are learning to trust adults Feed and dress them Change their diapers Listen to their cries Keep them from dangerBabies are learning to know and trust themselves Comfort themselves wit a thumb or blanket Get what they want by crawling and graspingBaby are learning to trust the world around them The floor is hard, stuffed animals are soft Orange food usually tastes good; green food sometimes doesnt A warm bath feels good; a shot hurtsToddles-18 to 36 months oldToddles-18 to 36 months oldToddlers reach for independence-they know that someone will be there to keep them safe； Self-reliance-when they insist on doing everything for themselves they are learning self-reliance Ownership-when they claim all toys are “Mine”!” they are learning about ownership Safety and Fear when they become afraid of the dark or strangers. Self-control -when they learn to pet cat gentlyThey are learning many things, each act of independence teachers them about being a personbeing a person, Preschool-3-5 years oldPreschool-3-5 years oldCreative-they are great imagination and start to act out adventures They practice adult role-when Feed their dolls Ride their strikes as fire engines and build forts from They create fantasy world They bathtub becomes a monsters pool A cardboard box becomes a castle They need friends-with friend they “practice” use idea, making decision, settle argument and show appreciation0-3montrust, cooperation, personal power 3-6monaffect environment through movement 6-9monaware of consequence of behavior 9-12monmore aware of consequence 1-2ybeginning of self-confidence 2-3ymore self confidence 3-4ymore social, cooperation 4-5yable to learn, aware of time 5-6ysense of fairness, want to be independent, start to care about others opinion, like to make friend, help parentYour condition impact Your condition impact on your childon your child Your stress-transfer to your childs uncertainty confusion and insecurity 家长的压力会转化成孩子的不可靠感，困惑和不安全感。 Your expectation-Child sense your expectation and often act as expected 孩子会体会到你的良好期望， 并且转化成孩子的 的行动。Your language-Less “NO” - More “YES”, 少说“不要”多说“要如何做” YES, YOU LIKE YOUR SISTERS TOY, BUT IT BELONGS TO HER. Let s find something you can play with insteadMAGIC WORDBeliefs and Behavior生活信念跟行为 Beliefs come from experience in growing up - po