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1English is a Crazy Language 英语是一种疯狂的语言 1Lets face itEnglish is a crazy language. 让我们接受现实吧英语是一种疯狂的语 言。 There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;neither apple nor pine in pineapple茄子 (eggplant,字面意为鸡蛋植物)里并没有鸡蛋,汉堡包(hamburger,字面意为火腿火饼)里也 没有火腿。同样,菠萝(pineapple,字面意为松树苹果)里既没有松树也没有苹果。 English muffins werent invented in England nor French fries in France松饼(English muffin, 字面意为英式松饼)并不是英国人发明的,而炸薯条(French fries,字面意为法式油炸食品) 也不是法国人的发明。 Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,which arent sweet,are meat “甜肉” (sweetmeat)指的是蜜饯,而“甜面包”(sweetbread)不是甜的,它指的是牛杂碎。 2We take English for granted. 我们理所当然地接受了英语的一切。 But if we explore its paradoxes,we find that quicksand can work slowly,boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig但是如果我们分析一下英语中似 是而非的情况,我们马上就会发现“快的沙子”(quicksand,流沙,也指陷阱,困境)往往 走得很慢, “拳击的圆圈”(boxing rings,拳击场)是方的, “几内亚猪”(guinea pig,天竺鼠)既 不是来自几内亚,也不是猪。 And why is it that writers write but fingers dont finggrocers dont groce and hammers dont ham? 还有,既然名词作家(writers)去掉词尾的 rs 就可以成为动词“写作(write)” ,那为什么 名词手指(fingers)、杂货店(grocers)、锤子(hammers)去掉 rs 就不能成为各自相对应的动词 呢? If the plural of tooth is teeth,why isnt the plural of booth beeth ? 如果牙齿的复数是 teeth,那 为什么售货亭的复数不是 beeth? If you have one goose, two geese, why not one moose, two meese, or one index, two indices?一只 鹅我们用 goose,两只鹅用 geese,那么,一只驼鹿用 moose(单复数同形),两只驼鹿就应 该是 meese 了?为什么一条索引是 index,两条索引却成了 indices? 3Doesnt it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, or that you can comb through the annals of history but not a single annal? 如果你赔偿时只能赔偿复数不能赔偿单数, 这足不是很莫名其妙?你可以梳理历史的复数编年史,为什么却不能复习某一个单个的编年 史? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?如果 你有一堆麻烦,那么在你把其他的都解决了只剩下一个的时候该怎么说呢? 4If teachers taught,why didnt preachers praught? 如果教师教学是 taught,那为什么传教 士传教不是 praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables,what does a humanitarian eat?如果素食主义者(vegetarian)吃蔬 菜(vegetables),那人道主义者(humanitarian)吃什么? 5Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane有时候我觉得根据英国人说话时疯狂的用词可以将他们送进精神病院。 In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital; ship by truck and send cargo by ship;have noses that run and feet that smell;park on driveways and drive on parkways?哪一 种语言人们可以在一出戏中朗诵,在朗诵中玩(分别指演戏和开独唱会)?用卡车运船,用船 运货(分别指用卡车运输和用船运输)?鼻子可以跑而脚可以闻味道(分别指流鼻涕和脚有臭味)? 车可以停在驾驶路上,而且在停车路上驾驶(driveway 从字面上理解是驾驶路,parkway 从 字面上理解是停车路)。6How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites,and quite a lot and quite a few are alike? 为什么一个苗条的机会(slim chance,指没 机会)和一个肥胖的机会(fat chance,也指没机会)意思是一样的,而一个聪明的人(wise man,聪明人)和一个聪明的家伙(wise guy,自作聪明的人)却意思相反?为什么相当多(quite a lot)和相当少(quite a few)意思一样?(实际上 quite a lot 和 quite a few 都是相当多的意思。) How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?为什么天气可以热得像地 狱也可以冷得像地狱?(as hell 字面意思像地狱一样,指非常) 7You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on你不得不对这种精神病一样的语言表示惊奇,在这种语言中,你的房子在被烧下 去(burn down,意为烧为平地)的同时又被烧上去(burn up 为烧起来,烧掉)。你用填出来(fill out,意为填写)的方法填进去(fill in,意思也是填写)一个表格。闹钟在走(go on)的时候响 (go off)了。 8English was invented by people,not computers,and it reflects the creativity of the human race. 英语是人而不是机器创造出来的语言,它反映了人类的创造性。 That is why,when the stars are out,they are visible,but when the lights are out,they are invisible这也是为什么当星星出来的时候,他们是看得见的,当阳光出来(out)的时候是看 不见的。 And why,when I wind up my watch,I start it,but when I wind up this essay, I end it?同理, 我“处理”我的手表之后,它就开始(走)了;而我“处理”完这篇文章后,它却结束了。2 All I Learned in Kindergarten 幼儿园所学的 1Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten . 大部分在生活中真正需要的,包括怎样生活,该做些什么,又该怎样去做, 这些都是我在幼儿园时学会的。 Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate mountain, but there in the sandpile at nursery school智慧不在研究生院的山巅之上,而在幼儿园的沙堆里。 2These are the things I learned:以下就是我从幼儿园中学到的。 Share everything. 分享所有的东西; Play fair行为光明磊落; Dont hit people不要攻击别人; Put things back where you found them.(10 语法) 东西要放回原处; Clean up your own mess自己弄脏的地方自己收拾好; Dont take things that arent yours不要拿走不属于自己的东西; Say youre sorry when you hurt somebody. 如果你伤害了别人就得道歉; Wash your hands before you eat.饭前洗手; Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you热的甜点和凉的牛奶对身体有益; Live a balanced life生活要有张有弛, Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday some(?) 学点东西、想点问题、写写画画、唱唱跳跳,休息和工作,每样事天天都要 干一点。 3Take a nap every afternoon每天下午小睡一会儿。 When you go out into the world,watch for traffic当大家外出时,注意交通安全, Hold hands and stick together. 记得手挽手,彼此互相扶持。Be aware of wonder多多注意那些生活的奇迹。 Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? 你一定还记得那个塑料杯里的小小的种子吧, The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. 它不断地往下扎根,枝叶不断地向空中伸展。没有人真正知道它在怎样生长,也不知道是 为了什么。但有一点很明白,我们也像他们一样地长大。 4Goldfish and hamsters an
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