Real Ways to Say You Care 赠礼的艺术 by Barbara Bartocci 赠礼的艺术 人生在世，谁未曾赠送过礼品，或是接受礼品？然而，我们却很少读到专门研究赠礼的文章。本文作者是位女性，她热切地拥抱生活，明锐地分析生活，终成此美文 。 。 。 (Read Article) Barbara, my husband, Bill, announced, your Christmas present is in the freezer. Mystified, I went to the freezer - and broke out laughing. Inside was a festively wrapped large ice-cream container. My love of ice cream is legendary in our home. Then, pulling off the wrappings, I laughed even harder. Instead of ice cream, the container held four large, handcrafted wooden numbers for the front of our house. Bill had heard me say months earlier that Id always wanted easy-to-read house numbers. I was touched and loved the fun of his double surprise. The gift reminded me of a conversation Id overheard at a department store. A woman was returning a gift from her husband. Wouldnt you think that after 20 years George would know I never wear gold? she joked - but I noted a tinge of hurt. I couldnt help comparing the two styles of gift-giving. George had probably spent several hundred dollars on jewellery his wife didnt like. Bill had spent perhaps $20, but, thinking carefully, he had chosen a gift that was just right for me. This is what gift-giving is all about. As author Charles Dudley Warner wrote in 1873: The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than its value. Most of us want to give our friends and loved ones the perfect gift; yet in todays fast-paced world, too often we simply rush to get the task out of the way. Giving a gift need not be a chore; it can be fun for both the receiver and the giver. Here are five ways to put the joy back into this fine old tradition: 1.Make sure the gift has special meaning for the recipient. As you consider gift possibilities, ask yourself what is important to the recipient. Acknowledging and accepting what another person values can be a gift in itself. For Rosita Perezs eighteen wedding anniversary, her husband, Ray, gave her a one-and-a-half-square-meter wooden dolls house. He had heard Rosita talk often of the dolls house shed always wanted as a child. Ray saw the child in me and gave the most sensitive gift Ive ever received, says Rosita. 2.Be alert for a gift that the recipient may want without realizing it. Coming home from the hospital after minor surgery, I discovered a new centrepiece on our dining-room table, a welcome-home gift form my two sons. Until I saw it, I hadnt realized how tired-looking the old one had become. It was just what I needed - and wanted. The key to such gift-giving is pay attention through the year to casual comments. My mother kept a small notebook in which she jotted down gift ideas that came out of conversations with family members. In our household, a familiar cry on Christmas morning was: Mum! How did you know this was just what I wanted? Sometimes you may know more about a persons real needs than he or she does. Ron Meiss chuckles about the high-school-graduation gift his father gave him. A Dale Carnegie self-improvement course! he says. Can you imagine how underwhelmed I was? I wanted a car! That course, Ron is now convinced, gave him the skills he needed to become a professional speaker. 3.Offer your time or talent. My friend Diane Vogel received an extraordinary birthday gift from her stepdaughter. Jonne was 14 when Diane married Jonnes father, and the family had had some rough times. Gradually a closeness developed, and when Jonne was in her twenties, she presented Diane with a book of certificates for such things as a weeks grocery shopping, washing and ironing, and breakfast in bed. They were things she could do for me to make up for the years when we did not have a mother-daughter relationship, Diane explained. A gift that shines with your individual effort and enterprise will be appreciated in a way the most expensive jewel can never match. Twyla Dell took a big box of her mothers loose photos and labelled and pasted every one into an album for her mothers sixty-fifth birthday. 4.Be on time. We know that young children need to be remembered on their birthdays. Yet we may not realize how important it is to Grandpa to be remembered on his day. Even when youre pressed for time, it just takes a phone call to arrange a special dinner at a favorite restaurant. 5.Dont wait for a special occasion. My son John likes to surprise his wife at work with the delivery of a single rose - always a spontaneous I love you gesture. Whenever we give a gift for no special occasion, were telling the recipient, more clearly then words ever could, you matter to me. The key to spontaneous giftgiving is to see gift possibilities during your daily routine. Maybe that means bringing your spouse a jar of pickled herring, or keeping a book of ice-cram coupons at work. I remember the lift I got when a colleague left an ice-cream coupon on my desk one day.A spontaneous gift that acknowledges and encourages a new stage in someones life can be very rea