大学英语四级考试作文解析1997年12月全真试题 Directions:For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition about Harmfulness of Fake Commodities in three paragraphs. You should write at least 100 words and you should base your compositionon the outline (given in Chinese) below:1. 目前社会上有不少假冒伪劣商品（fake commodities).为什 么会有这种现象？2。 举例说明伪劣商品对消费者个人、社会等的危害 。布局与谋篇写作标题和提纲对短文内容定位为假冒伪劣商品目前在社会上 流行的“现象”、“原因”、给消费者带来的“危害”及其“例证”，显然 属论说文体。短文可按提纲自然分成两段。第一段的要点既然是“现象”和“原因”， 可发展成因果段落。第二段要求提供“例证”， 自然用举例法进行扩展。第一段： 本段应发展成因果段落果： 现象，即目前社会上有不少假冒商品因： 需根据现象进行分析与联想第一段提纲：TS: Fake commodities prevail because of three reason.Causes: A. economic developmentB. Profiteers making and selling fake commodities.C. Punishment not severe enoughEffect: market swarming with fakes-food-stuff, clothing,medicine.初 稿（1） Fake commodities prevail in many places of our country because of three reasons. (2)Our economy is developing very fast. (3) Some profiteers try to make and sell fake commodities. (4) The punishment is not severe enough. (5) Todays market is full of fake food-stuff, clothing, medicine and so on.点 睛three reasons 为主题导向， 要求以列举法发展本因果段落， 但其后行文条理性差， 段落缺乏过渡词语，连贯性欠缺。点 石 成 金Fake commodities prevail in many places of our country because of three reasons. First, Our economy is developing very fast. Second, some profiteers try to make and sell fake commodities. Finally, the punishment is not severe enough. Therefore, todays market is full of fake food-stuff, clothing, medicine and so on.点 睛纲举则目张，尽管仅增添了四个起关联作用的词语， 段落却 从“连贯性差”升至“尚连贯”。 也就是说， 就连贯标准而言，作文 得分可提高至少一个档次。但 first, second 这类连接词太常见， 似有平庸之感。列举法法常用套路归纳first, second, third,last, finallyfirstly, secondly, thirdly, lastlyto begin with, nextin the first place, in the second placefor one thing, for another二 稿（1） With rapid economic development, fake commodities prevail in many places of our country. (2) Some profiteers, regardless of peoples interests, cant wait to make a fortune; they just take risks making and selling fake goods. (3) On the other hand, the punishmentis not severe enough to stop the violators. (4) Todays market,therefore, is swarming with fakes such as phony food-stuff, clothing,and medicine.点 睛介词短语 With简练地引导出大环境。 regardless of短语 的插入； 分号“；”的运用。 过渡词语On the other hand 引出对立 因素。therefore的插入句中增加了句式变化。 1)regardless of插入句（2）中间，是使句式多样化的一种有效方 法。 2）句（2）中cant wait to 把投机商的那种迫不及待的想一夜暴富 的 心情表达得淋漓尽致。 3)句（3）中在 not severe enough 后加上to stop the violators，使 表意更为完整。第 二 段就假冒伪劣商品对消费者个人和社会等的危害提供例证。山西朔州假酒案是一则最具说服力的例子， 提纲如下：TS: Fake commodities are harmful to consumers and society.A. Harm to victims: 27 deaths and 700 poisonedB. Harms to society: Confusion and panic初 稿(6) Fake commodities are harmful to consumers and the society.(7) The1998 fatal alcohol poisoning case in North Chinas ShanxiProvince is an example. (8)A peasant added methanol to water and produced fake alcohol. (9)This incident caused 27 deaths and left around 700 others poisoned. (10)The incident shocked the wholecountry. (11)Hundred and thousands of people were in confusion and panic. (12)They no longer had a sense of safety. 点 睛harmful 为主题导向； 例证：山西1998假酒案。引用具体数据， 具有较强的说服力；最后三句总结。点 石 成 金(5) Fake commodities are extremely harmful to consumers as well as to the whole society. (6) Take, for example,the 1998 fatal alcohol poisoningcase in North Chinas Shanxi Province . (7)Adding methanol to water,a peasant produced “alcohol” dreaming of becoming rich overnight. (8)The incident, with 27 people killed and around 700 poisoned, cause Great sufferings to the victims and Shocked the whole country as well. (9)A carry-over of fear left thousands of others in confusion and panic: they no longer had a sense of safety. (10)How terrible! (11)Its reallyhigh time we took measures to crack down on the production and sale offake commodities. 点 睛take, for example, 引出举例； 分词短语addingto ; dreaming of 的运用，增加句式的变化。注意独立结构with , 一方面表示假 酒的危害直接后果，另一方面为其间接后果埋布下诱因。注意 left in这一地道的表达方法。通过感叹句及“Its high time ” 完成发 出呼吁的结尾。举一反三Harmfulness of Drug trafficking1) 目前许多地方贩毒（ drug trafficking）抬头。为什么会有 这种 现象？2）举例说明贩毒对吸毒者个人、社会等的危害。With the reform and open to the outside world policy being carried out,Drug trafficking is gradually gaining ground in many places of our country. Some profiteers, regardless of peoples interests, cant wait to make a fortune; they just take risks trafficking drugs.On the other hand, measures taken to track down drug dealers are not efficient enough to stop violators. Therefore, drug trafficking has become a social problem today. Drug trafficking is extremely harmful to the drug addicts as wellas the whole society.Take, for example,the tragic story of how a happy family broke. Mr.Wang, a successful businessman with more than 200,000yuan of movable and immovable property, got into the habit of takingdrugs.In Order to buy the drug he was addicted to, he sold his company, house, and even his little daughter. Then he tried to rob the bank and wasput in p