Social Learning: Seven Key AbilitiesA growing body of evidence points to seven key social-emotional abilities as the critical success factors from early childhood through the highest reaches of business. People who have them do better in school and on the job. Variously referred to as emotional intelligence, soft skills, people skills, or social-emotional skills, they all address a similar skill set.Research Points to Seven Key Skills empathy assertiveness impulse control management of feelings decision-making skills self-understanding connection to community. These key skills can in turn be broken down into a hundred component skills. Link to Business SuccessResearch has shown that the presence of these abilities marks successful business managers. At AT&T, managers who were perceived as having empathy with their workers were more likely to get phone calls returned than other supervisors. At American Express, sales people who received training in empathy were able to sell more life insurance to their customers, growing the bottom line. Psychologist and New York Times science writer Daniel Goleman found emotional intelligence more tied to workplace productivity than IQ and technical expertise combined, across businesses.Linked to School SuccessThese same core abilities were linked to school success. Research has shown that connection to the school community is the single most important factor in drop out rates, even more important than parental relations to whether kids stayed in school. Empathy is not only correlated with popularity, but with higher SAT scores.Absence Linked to Failure and CrimePeople who lack these abilities not only have a far greater chance of dropping out of school and failing at work, they are most likely to injure others, end up in prison, and/or be victimized themselves.Seven Skills1) Knowing yourself Your Mind: Learning style Intelligences Your Heart: Temperament What you love Your Body: Body Image Sports and exercise type Stress-response type Your Soul: Beliefs and values Creative potential Where you come from: Personal and family history History of your community Where youre going: Strengths and weaknesses Setting goals Reflecting on performance Dealing with criticism Self-esteem not self-centeredness2) Identifying with others Understanding feelings Identifying/naming feelings Mixed feelings Feelings as relative/changing Taking someones point of view Understanding motives Predicting feelings Responsibility for feelings Showing you care Paraphrasing Asking open ended questions Body Language Resisting Stereotypes3) Standing up for yourself Understanding assertiveness Assertive voice Assertive posture Assertive eyes Assertive message Assertive will - no reasons Using assertive behavior Communicating feelings Resisting pressure Setting limits Stating a need Making a complaint Exercising rights Standing up for beliefs Confronting personal behavior Confronting injustice4) Managing feelings Mindfulness/awareness Physical sensations Internal triggers - self talk External triggers Relaxation techniques Expression of feelings Letting go Learning to Laugh Practicing happiness Dealing with specific feelings Anger Envy Grief Anxiety Frustration Disappointment Jealousy Discouragement Sadness Embarrassment Shame5) Controlling impulses Stopping reactions Predicting consequences Dealing with specific impulses Blurting out Cheating Hitting Lying Sexual impulses Stealing6) Making Decisions Identifying the problem Brainstorming options Evaluating alternatives Trying solutions and alternatives Making specific decisions Using drugs Having sex Carrying weapons Being reckless Lying Running away Cheating Drinking Smoking Dealing drugs Skipping school Dropping out Getting pregnant7) Being part of a community Communication skills Introducing yourself Having a conversation Inviting Expressing thanks Expressing sympathy Giving a compliment Receiving a compliment Making an apology Ignoring Group skills Joining a group Making space for others Participating in group discussion Resolving conflict Dealing with authority Getting help Giving help Sharing Using community resources Social Values Courtesy Fairness Generosity Honesty Kindness Justice Reliability Respect Responsibility Trust Tolerance