怎样有效地说话、办事、立身。一，要求要具体化为了得到你想要的或想成为什么样的人，你必须知道你想要的在现实社会中具体是什么。在自己 心中，要详细明确具体。二，说话办事，要弄清楚谁可以帮助你 ，不要找错人。很多时候，我们办事却求错了人，要找到起决定作用的人，不要和不拿事的人谈，否则困难更多 。三，说明所求之事，对自己、对对方、对社会大众的具体好处。四，按对方希望的要求，证明你对所求之事有信心，有能力，能成功。并会给自己、对方、社会 大众创造利益。五，平时不断地习善断恶，不断地改变自己，不断地为特定目标创造条件，不断地要求，才能成 功。How To Ask EffectivelyAccording to Tony Robbins here are the steps get whatever you want:Ask specificallyAsk someone who can help youCreate value for the person youre askingAsk with focused, congruent beliefAsk until you get what you want1. Ask SpecificallyTo get what you want, you have to know what you want. In detail. You have to be specific. Tony Robbins writes:“You must describe what you want, both to yourself and someone else. How high, how far, how much? When, where, how, with whom? If your business needs a loan, youll get it if you know how to ask. You wont get it if you say, We need more money to expand into a new product line. Please lend us some. You need to define precisely what you need, why you need it, and when you need it. You need to be able to show what youll be able to produce with it. You need to be able to show what youll be able to produce with it.”2. Ask Someone Who Can Help YouAll too often, we ask the wrong person. To get what you want, you have to ask somebody who can actually help you. Tony Robbins writes:“Its not enough to ask specifically, you must ask specifically of someone who has the resources the knowledge, the capital, the sensitivity, or the business experience. Lets say youre having trouble with your spouse. Your relationship is falling apart. You can pour out your heart. You can be as specific and as honest as humanly possible. But if you seek help from someone who has as pitiful a relationship as you do, will you succeed? Of course not.Finding the right person to ask brings us back to the importance of learning how to notice what works. Anything you want a better relationship, a better job, a smarter program for investing your money is something some already does. The trick is to find those people and figure out what they do right. Many of us gravitate toward barroom wisdom. We fine a sympathetic ear and expect that to translate to results. It wont unless the sympathy is matched by expertise and knowledge.”3. Create Value For the Person Youre AskingPeople will be more likely to help you if you create value for them in some way, shape, or form. Tony Robbins writes:“Dont just ask and expect someone to give you something. Figure out how you can help them first. If youve had a business idea and need money to pull it off, one way to do it is to find someone who can both help and benefit. Show them how your idea can make money for you and for them as well. Creating value directly doesnt always have to that tangible. The value you create may only be a feeling or a sensibility or a dream, but often thats enough. If you came up to me and said you needed $10,000, Id probably say, So do a lot of other people. If you said you needed the money to make a difference in peoples lives, I might begin to listen. If you specifically showed me how you wanted to help others and create value for them and yourself, I might see how helping you could create value for me as well.”4. Ask with Focused, Congruent BeliefYou have to be convincing. If you dont believe in what youre asking for, why should anybody else. Tony Robbins writes:“The way to ensure failure is to convey ambivalence. If you arent convinced about what youre asking for, how can anyone else be? So when you ask, do it with absolute conviction. Express that in your words and your physiology. Be able to show that youre sure of what you want, youre sure youll succeed, and youre sure you will create value, not just for you but for the person youre asking as well.”5. Ask Until You Get What You WantIf at first you dont succeed, try, try again. But change your approach, or who youre asking. Tony Robbins writes:“That doesnt mean asking the same person. It doesnt mean asking in precisely the same way. Remember, the Ultimate Success Formula says you need to develop the sensory acuity to know what youre getting, and you have to have the personal flexibility to change. So when you ask, you have to change and adjust until you achieve what you want. When you study the lives of successful people, youll find over and over again that they kept asking, kept trying, kept changing because they knew that sooner or later they would find someone who could satisfy their needs.”Whats the Hardest Part of the Formula?The hardest part is getting specific. Tony writes:”Whats the hardest part of the formula? For many people its the part about asking specifically. We dont live in a culture that puts a great premium on precise communication. It may be one of our biggest cultural failings. Language reflects a societys needs. An Eskimo has several dozen words for