Perfec onismtiOutlineOutline What is Perfectionism? Characteristics Consequences Success and Happiness Sources of Perfectionism Overcoming PerfectionismLearn to fail or fail to learnCrisis (Wei Ji)DangerandOpportunity“The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.” Elbert HubbardThe Path of Failure Age 22: Lost job Age 23: Defeated for state legislature Age 24: Failed in business Age 27: Nervous breakdown Age 34: Ran for congress and defeated Age 39: Defeated again Age 46: Ran for senate and defeated Age 47: Defeated for nomination for vice president Age 50: Defeated again for senate Age 51: 16th US President“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”Mohandas Gandhi“The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.”George EliotThomas Watson Sr. IBMAmy Edmondson (1999) “Psychological Safety” “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.” Thomas Watson Sr. “Origins of Genius” (Simonton, 1999)Perfectionism is an incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives, especially those areas that we care about most.It is an approach, a cognitive and emotional schema, that we hold toward the journey of our lives, toward the process of getting from point A to point B.Perfection Perfection Vs. Vs. ExcellenceExcellence CharacteristicsCharacteristicsDefensiveOpen to SuggestionsHalf EmptyHalf FullOver GeneralizeRealisticNo Self-AcceptanceUnconditional AcceptanceStaticDynamicPerfectionExcellenceFear of failureFailure as feedback Focus on DestinationJourney and DestinationPerfection Perfection Vs. Vs. ExcellenceExcellence ConsequencesConsequencesTemporary ReliefLasting SatisfactionInevitable FailurePossibility of SuccessWastes timeAppropriate Time AllocationProne to disordersHealthy ApproachHurts Self-EsteemContinuous ImprovementHarms RelationshipsAllows for GrowthAnxiety/StressCreative TensionPerfectionExcellencePerformance?Less Pain More GainLess Pain More Gain ?*#!#?Less Pain More Gain ?*#!#? Sustainable approach to growth Procrastination Higher levels of self-confidence Learn to fail or fail to learn The Luck Factor (Wiseman, 2003) Creativity (Simonton, 1999) 80/20 Rule (Paretos Principle) Increase in flow experiences (Csikszentmihalyi, 1991)Source of PerfectionismSource of Perfectionism ConditioningDestination = Reward = Acceptance Journey = Unrewarded = Means Only Social environment Permission to be human?Overcoming PerfectionismOvercoming Perfectionism AwarenessOvercoming PerfectionismOvercoming Perfectionism Awareness Active Acceptance Behavior changes attitude Meditation and visualization Setting a liberating goal or vision The Platinum Rule Helping others?Nature to be commanded must be obeyed. Francis Bacon