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How to Make Your Writing Better,Example 1 (On SsPage1 ),The First Snow It is snowing! I shouted to my mum. When I was doing my homework, I found that it was snowing outside. The snow was so white and beautiful. It seemed that this was the first snow of this winter. I went out of the room and looked at the sky. It was very beautiful. Every thing was white . But my mother took me back home very soon. I wont forget this day.,Example 1,1. The passage is mainly about_. How and why the first snow came How the first snow impressed the writer Why Mother took the writer back home,2. The writers feeling was _. sad B. cold C. happy,Example 1 (On SsPage1 ),The First Snow It is snowing! I shouted to my mum. When I was doing my homework, I found that it was snowing outside. The snow was so white and beautiful. It seemed that this was the first snow of this winter. I went out of the room and looked at the sky. It was very beautiful. Every thing was white . But my mother took me back home very soon. I wont forget this day.,It is snowing! I shouted to my mum.,Example 1,3. Most of the sentences are_. simple sentences B. co-ordinate sentences (并列句) C. subordinate sentences(复合句),Simple sentences are often very short and they are very essential (必需的,特有的,基本的 )to make the writing good.,Example 1,Simple sentences 1.S+link V.+Pre. It was very beautiful. Everything was white . 2. S+Vi. It is snowing! 3.S+V+O I wont forget this day. I shouted to my mum.,4.S+V+O+O.C. We asked him to come back . 5.S+V+Sb.+Sth Mum bought me a new dress.,Example 2 (On SsPage1 ),The First Snow The first snow came. How beautiful it was, falling so silently all day long, all night long, on the mountains, on the meadows (草地上), on the roofs of the living, on the graves of the dead! (生者的屋顶,死者的坟墓)All white except the river, that marked by a winding black line across the landscape;(在一片白茫茫之中,只有河流在美丽的画面上勾画出一道弯弯曲曲的黑线; ) and the leafless trees against the,Example 2 (On SsPage1 ),The First Snow leaden铅灰色的sky now revealed more fully the wonderful beauty and intricacies 树枝盘结交错of their branches .(还有那光秃秃的树木,映衬着灰蒙蒙的天空,更显得枝丫交错,姿态万千。 ),Example 2,The First Snow What silence, too, came with the snow! Every sound was muffled被压抑而低沉, every noise changed to something soft and musical. No more tramping hoofs, no more rattling wheels!(没有了嗒嗒的马蹄声,也听不见滚滚的车轮声! ) Only the chiming of sleigh-bells, beating as swift and merrily as the hearts of children.(只有雪橇的铃铛奏出和谐的乐曲,那明快欢乐的节奏像孩子的心在跳动。 ),Example 2,Some beautiful and advanced words,meadow:,a field with grass and flowers,grave:,tomb,winding:,twisting ,turning (蜿蜒的),landscape:,beautiful scenery,reveal:,show,muffle:,usually passive to make a sound less loud and clear,Example 2,Some beautiful and advanced words,tramping hoofs:,此处形容马蹄踏地发出“得得”声的样子,rattling wheels:,此处形容车轮发出“格格”声的样子,chiming:,a ringing sound made by a bell,swift:,quickly and immediately,merrily:,happily,Example 2,1. The passage is mainly about_. The beautiful scenery of the first snow The disaster of the first snow The chiming of sleigh-bells in the first snow,2. After reading the passage we can feel_. A. sad B. cold C. happy,Example 2,3. Most of the sentences are_. only simple sentences B. co-ordinate sentences (并列句) C. various sentence patterns,Example 2,Various Sentence Patterns,Using exclamatory sentences: -What silence, too, came with the snow! -How beautiful it was, falling so silently all day long, all night long, on the mountains, on the meadows, on the roofs of the living, on the graves of the dead!,2. Using parrallelism In sentences,-No more tramping hoofs, no more rattling wheels!,Example 2,Various Sentence Patterns,3.Using the passive voice: - Every sound was muffled被压抑而低沉,Example 2,Various Sentence Patterns,4. Using modifiers,Adjectives, adverbs, and prepositional phrases are all modifiers. Modifiers describe nouns, pronouns, and verbs in a sentence. Modifiers help to make your writing vivid, clear, and specific.,Example 2,Various Sentence Patterns,4. Using modifiers,-and the leafless trees against the leaden铅灰色 的sky now revealed more fully the wonderful beauty and intricacies 树枝盘结交错of their branches .,-every noise changed to something soft and musical.,-every noise changed to something soft and musical.,Example 2,Various Sentence Patterns,5. Using clauses:,- Only the chiming of sleigh-bells, beating as swift and merrily as the hearts of children.,- Only the chiming of sleigh-bells, which were beating as swift and merrily as the hearts of children.,Using clauses helps your writing by giving it variety and interest in the sentence structures.,common and usual,Compare Example 1 & 2,unusual and advanced,Words,Sentences,simple sentences,beyond simple sentences,various sentences patterns,We just realize the writer is very happy.,Compare Example 1 & 2,The passage makes us feel very
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