Self- Esteem Outline The importance of self-esteem What self-esteem is and is not The paradox of self-esteem Toward a new understanding Dependent self-esteem Independent self-esteem Unconditional self-esteem Enhancing self-esteem Definition Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness. Nathaniel Branden Of all the judgments we pass in our lives, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves. Nathaniel Branden The greatest evil that can befall man is that he should come to think ill of himself. Goethe The Importance of Self-Esteem High Self-Esteem Mental Health Quality of relationships Success Social effectiveness Happiness Low Self-Esteem Anxiety Depression Psychosomatic symptoms Underachievement Nathaniel Branden The immune system of consciousness Bednar and Peterson Underlying cause of most emotional and behavioral problems California Task Force Social vaccine Criticism Narcissism (arrogance and conceit) The person who feels weak becomes a bully, the inferior person a braggart; a flexing of muscles, much talk, cockiness, an endeavor to brazen it out, are symptoms of covert anxiety in a person or a group. Rollo May Criticism Narcissism (arrogance and conceit) Unrealistic evaluation (harms performance) Salvaging Self-Esteems Self-Esteem What self-esteem is not A product of empty reinforcement Pseudo self-esteem What self-esteem is Founded in reality Product of hard work More Criticisms of Self-Esteem Anti-social behavior Aggressive, uncooperative Paradox of self-esteem A New Formulation Dependent self-esteem Independent self-esteem Unconditional self-esteem Dependent Self-Esteem Worthiness Other-determined Competence Other-comparison Independent Self-Esteem Worthiness Self-determined Competence Self-Comparison Competence Relative to Others Competence Relative to Self Worthiness Other-Determined Dependent Self-Esteem Worthiness Self-Determined Independent Self-Esteem Unconditional Self-Esteem Worthiness Not contingent Competence Interdependent Competence Relative to Others Competence Relative to Self Competence Interdependent Worthiness Other-Determined Dependent Self-Esteem Worthiness Self-Determined Independent Self-Esteem Worthiness Not Contingent Unconditional Self-esteem The Importance of Being Independent Moral Behavior True to principles Empathy Better cognitive performance Creative thinking Commitment to continuous learning Increased Happiness Calmness The joy of self-expression Research Results Self-Esteem Stability Kernis (1995) Ben-Shahar (2000) Happiness and Flow Christino (2002) Narcissism, Generosity, Hostility Ben-Shahar (2004) Perfectionism Ignaczyk and Richey (2003) The Case of Relationships Differentiation is your ability to maintain your sense of self when you are emotionally and/or physically close to othersespecially as they become increasingly important to you. Differentiation permits you to maintain your own course when lovers, friends, and family pressure you to agree and conform. Well-differentiated people can agree without feeling like theyre losing themselves, and can disagree without feeling alienated and embittered. David Schnarch (1997) Cultivating Independent and Unconditional Self-Esteem Change Attitude Behavior Enhancing Self-Esteem Induce calm Slave to passions Finding flow Coping Humble behavior Taking time Stage Model Stage 1 Automatic reaction Conformity Dependent self Stage 2 Deliberate reflAction Self reliance Independent core self Enhancing Self-Esteem Induce calm Slave to passions Finding flow Coping Humble behavior Taking time Integrity Integrity Treatment Being known versus validated (Schnarch, 1997) Express not impress Assert yourself Gradually expanding integrity From journaling to loved-one to world From day to week to life-long Truth sets us free Your true potential lies way, way down in the depths of your soul in the pit of your stomach, past your knowledge, beyond your nervousness, and buried under your fears and anxieties. As hidden as it may be, it is still there. I know its there because Ive felt it before, and I know its there in others too because Ive seen others perform miracles. There is a faint glow of unparalleled potential in all of us, and when we find it it shines. Melissa Christino Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W.H. Freeman and Company: New York. Bednar, R. L. and Peterson, S. R. (1995) Self Esteem: Paradoxes and Innovations in Clinical Theory and Practice. (2nd edition). American Psychological Asssociation. Coopersmith, S. (1967). The antecedents of self-esteem. New York: W.H. Freeman. Crocker, J., Luhtanen, R. K., Bouvrette, S. (2003). Contingencies of self-worth in college students: theory and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.