大学经典英语笑话 在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以表达自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。分享关于大学经典英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家! 关于大学经典英语笑话：Three tough mice Three mice are at a bar, having drinks, talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot of booze, says, Let me tell you how tough I am. I spot a trap and go for the cheese. When it snaps, I snatch the bar and bench press it 20 or so times and before it can close Im outa there! and he tosses down another shot. The second mouse slams down a shot and says, You think thats tough? When I find a pile of d-con, I crush it and snort it like its cocaine. With that he throws down another shot and slams his shotglass on the bar. The first two are staring at the third mouse, waiting to see what he has to say for himself. He fires down a shot of booze, throws down his glass and heads for the door. His buddieslook at each other, then at him and say, Hey, where are YOU going? The third mouse says, I havent got time for this shit, I need to get home to screw the cat. 关于大学经典英语笑话：The swearing parrot Theres a guy who owns a parrot that swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this birds foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much. The guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him hard and yells, QUIT IT! But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, OK for you. He locks the bird in a kitchen cabi. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush. At this point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very, very quiet . At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, hes worried enough to open the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the mans outstretched arm and says, Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. Ill do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on. The man isastounded. He cant understand the transformation that has e over the parrot. Then the parrot says, By the way, what did that chicken ever do to you? 关于大学经典英语笑话：Well endowed A man walks into a bar and sees a jar with money in it and a horse standing next to it. The bartender told the man to put a dollar in the jar and make the horse laugh. So the man put a dollar into the jar and told the horse something. Suddenly the horse began to laughhysterically. The man took the money and left. The next day the man walked into the bar and saw the jar of money and the horse standing next to it. This time, the bartender told the man to make the horse cry. the man put a dollar in the jar, walked over to the horse, and the horse began to cry. The man took the money and as he was about to leave when the bartender asked him. How did you do that? the man replied, On the first day, I told the horse my dick was longer than his, and on the second day, I showed him. 关于大学经典英语笑话：Bear hunting Every year, Bob goes hunting during bear season. One year, Bob goes hunting, and shoots a small brown bear. Then, the mother of that small brown bear es up to him and says, Ill give you two choices, Ill either kill you, or make love to you, but I wont let you go. Bob thinks on this, and decides he wants to live, so the mother bear then makes love to him. The next year, Bob goes hunting again, but this time, he shoots the mother bear that he was forced to make love to the year before. He shoots her, and her mother es after Bob, and again, gives him the choice. I will make love to you, or kill you, which will it be? Again, Bob makes love to a bear. The next year, Bob goes once again for revenge, and kills the bear that he was forced to make love to the year before. This time, her sister es up to Bob and says, You dont e here for the hunting, do you?