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从 2009 年 21 世纪联想杯全国冠军金路的稿子看写作思路What would you do if you had only one day left to live? (题目设计冲击力强,观众带着问题从演讲当中获得答案)What would you do if you had only one day left to live?I asked this question to my young students when teaching English this winter. What were their answers?(个人的经历是一篇成功演讲稿必不可少的,没有,你的说服力就会有折扣,观众不是来听 你解释什么是 culture smart or science intelligent ,他们是想听你如何用自己的经历来演绎这 个题目)I would watch television! the first answer. I would play with the computer! the second one. I would play with computer TOO. The girl finished her sentence perfectly with a serious smile.Indeed how cute and innocent that smile was, but how seriously my heart was hurt. I was too frightened to listen to more answers like that.(开始对比,引出推理和解释,这个but用的恰到好处,而且使用的修辞手法,how cute和 how seriously 平型)Ten years ago, at their age, I had a different answer: I would spend the last day of my life gazing at the face of my dear grandmother until I inscribed every detail of it onto my mind.(继续讲故事,对比的手法,different,夹带了虚拟语气,和题目相符;选择 my dear grandmother更容易体现亲情,而且这是在生命的最后一天,)When grandmother was getting old and weak, my family bought her a telephone so I could save time and the trouble of traveling to her home by making phone calls instead. Later we bought her a television so she could watch modern dramas by herself. Then grandma must have been, we assumed, very contented and happy.(故事没有完成,观众仍然等结论,用by making phone calls instead来说明技术带来的人情 的冷漠)But I never really knew how grandma felt. She silently passed away without a word one night. When I heard about her death, a chilling pain pierced my empty heart. The pain grew even sharper as I tried to remember in detail exactly how grandma looked and I failed completely! How could I remember? I had not visited her for agesit seemed like a century! My memories of her dissolved into thin air and leaked away like water.(继续讲故事,谈感受,里面修辞博多:it seemed like a century (夸张)pierced my empty heart/ How could I remember?(反 问)/ dissolved into thin air and leaked away like water.(比喻) Even though I have a telephone, can she hear me now?Even though I might be on television, can she see me now?Even though I have modern telecommunications, can she still communicate with me now?With all these teles, I was powerless.(三个大排比,又是排比问句,凸现她的修辞功底,而且对于问句,她给出了答案, With all these teles, I was powerless. )Dont people just love the word of tele, which means far away. Indeed this is how modern technology has changed our world. But please dont forget this other word with tele: telepathy: which refers to human beings inborn ability to connect to our loved ones. Our minds are supposed to read each others minds; our hearts are supposed to feel each others hearts and fulfill these without any forms of tool!(这段似乎有写空洞,但是它是建立在上面个人感受的基础上的,而且用词的准确到了极致, Our minds are supposed to read each others minds; our hearts are supposed to feel each others hearts )But the moment I desperately struggled to remember grandmothers face, the telepathy between her and me had shut down forever. With the help of modern technology, I killed our telepathy. (逐渐导入结论部分,用词恰当 desperately struggled/ shut down forever/ I killed our telepathy) This shall never happen again! The “teles are great inventions. But “telepathy gives them the warmth of a human face. Lets harness the power of television to excite our kids to develop their telepathy with nature. so that they can read the secret language of flowers. Lets make the telephone lines provoke us to preserve our telepathy with each other, so we can connect in a warm and feeling way. Let technology keep our “telepathy ALIVE! We need to wake up and make this happen.( 继续推理演绎,最后感召句运用的惟妙惟肖/ Let technology keep our “telepathy ALIVE!) I told my grandmas story to those young kids that day. They got very quiet. They asked me for a second chance to answer the question. They had come to a new understanding 一 that very moment they had made to me and to our future together, a dear promise.(好的演讲稿件都是首尾呼应,继续讲故事,映出结论)Thank you very much!Accepting Ourselves(字数:366, 演讲时间是三分钟)Honarable judges, ladies and gentlemen:There is no such thing as a smart man or an intelligent man. There are choices and actions that lead us in different directions, and it is through those choices and actions that we create our realities. Sometimes we choose or do something that takes us in the opposite direction of the reality we want for ourselves.When we do this, we feel intelligent. We might go so far as to label ourselves “intelligent when a situation like this arises. Instead of labeling ourselves, though, we simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particular path, and then let it go, preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support our best intentions.I experienced my childhood in which the words smart and intelligent were used to praise me and people aroundI were smart if I did what I were told. This kind of discipline undermines my ability to find own
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