Unit One Text It is a humorous essay. But after reading it you will surely find that the author is most serious in writing it. IS THERE LIFE ON EARTH? Art Buchwald There was great excitement on the planet of Venus this week. For the first time Venusian scientists managed to land a satellite on the planet Earth, and it has been sending back signals as well as photographs ever since.The satellite was directed into an area known as Manhattan (named after the great Venusian astronomer Prof. Manhattan, who first discovered it with his telescope 20,000 light years ago).Because of excellent weather conditions and extremely strong signals, Venusian scientists were able to get valuable information as to the feasibility of a manned flying saucer landing on Earth. A press conference was held at the Venus Institute of Technology.“We have come to the conclusion, based on last weeks satellite landing,”Prof. Zog said, “that there is no life on Earth.”“How do you know this?”the science reporter of the Venus Evening Star asked.“For one thing, Earths surface in the area of Manhattan is composed of solid concrete and nothing can grow there. For another, the atmosphere is filled with carbon monoxide and other deadly gases and nobody could possibly breathe this air and survive.”“What does this mean as far as our flying saucer program is concerned?”“We shall have to take our own oxygen with us, which means a much heavier flying saucer than we originally planned.”“Are there any other hazards that you discovered in your studies?”“Take a look at this photo. You see this dark black cloud hovering over the surface of Earth? We call this the Consolidated Edison Belt. We dont know what it is made of, but it could give us a lot of trouble and we shall have to make further tests before we send a Venus Being there.”“Over here you will notice what seems to be a river, but the satellite findings indicate it is polluted and the water is unfit to drink. This means we shall have to carry our own water, which will add even greater weight to the saucer.”“Sir, what are all those tiny black spots on the photographs?”“Were not certain. They seem to be metal particles that move along certain paths. They emit gases, make noise and keep crashing into each other. There are so many of these paths and so many metal particles that it is impossible to land a flying saucer without its being smashed by one.”“What are those stalagmite projections sticking up?”“Theyre some type of granite formations that give off light at night.”Prof. Glom has named them skyscrapers since they seem to be scraping the skies.”“If all you say is true, wont this set back the flying saucer program several years?”“Yes, but we shall proceed as soon as the Grubstart gives us the added funds.”“Prof. Zog, why are we spending billions and billions of zilches to land a flying saucer on Earth where is no life there?”“Because if we Venusians can lean to breathe in an Earth atmosphere, then we can live anywhere.”New Words Humorous a. humor n. funny; that makes people laugh 幽默的essay n. 散文，随笔Excitement n. the state or quality of being excitedplanet n. large body in space that moves round a star, esp.round the sun行星Venusiann. of or having to do with she planet Venus金星的supposed Venus being 金星人satellite n. spacecraft that goes round the planet earth and sends back radio and television signals; heavenly body that goes round a planet（人造）卫星signal n. 信号；暗号astronomer n. Person who studies the science of the sun, moon,stars and planets 天文学家telescope n. instrument with special glasses used for seeing distant thingsextremely ad. extreme a. very极端，非常feasibility n.feasible a. possibility of being out or done可行性manned a. occupied by one or more persons载人的saucer n. 浅碟；茶托flying saucer n. 飞碟conference n. meetingpress conference n.meeting arranged by an important person to which news reporters are invited to listen to a statement or ask questions记者招待会technology n. 技术conclusion n. conclude v. decision or opinion reached by reasoning结论reporter n. person who gathers news for a newspaper, magazine, or radio or TV station记者compose n. make up, form 组成，构成concrete n. building material made by mixing cement with sand, small stones and water混凝土atmosphere n. all the gases round the earth; air in a place大气；空气carbon n. 碳monoxide n. 一氧化物deadly a. causing death; likely to cause death致命的gas n. 气体survive vi. vt.remain alive; continue to live or exist活下来；幸存remain alive after; live longer than经历后还活着；比活得长survival n. program n. plan of what is to be done计划concern vt. be of importance or interest to; have an effect on 涉及，关系到oxygen n. 氧，氧气originally ad. formerly起初，原来original a. hazard n. dangerhover vi. Stay in or near one place