美国著名脱口秀主持人柯南奥布莱恩为2011年达特茅斯学院做了毕业致辞。前半部分有很多搞笑串场，后半部分柯南跟大家分享了自己的经历和人生经验：正是那些既定想法的失败，才使我们成为独一无二的人！以下是演讲全文：Ive been living in Los Angeles for two years, and Ive never been this cold in my life. I will pay anyone here $300 for GORE-TEX gloves. Anybody. Im serious. I have the cash.Before I begin, I must point out that behind me sits a highly admired President of the United States and decorated war hero while I, a cable television talk show host, has been chosen to stand here and impart wisdom. I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today.Graduuatees, faccultty, parrentts, rellatiivess, uundeergrraduuatees, andd olld ppeopple thaat jjustt coome to theese thiingss: GGoodd moorniing andd coongrratuulattionns tto tthe Darrtmoouthh Cllasss off 20011. Toodayy, yyou havve aachiieveed ssomeethiing speeciaal, sommethhingg onnly 92 perrcennt oof AAmerricaans youur aage willl eeverr knnow: a colllegge ddipllomaa. TThatts rigght, wiith youur ccolllegee diiplooma youu noow hhavee a cruushiing advvanttagee ovver 8 pperccentt off thhe wworkkforrce. Im ttalkkingg abboutt drropoout losserss liike Billl GGatees, Steeve Jobbs, andd Maark Zucckerrberrg. Inccideentaallyy, sspeaakinng oof MMr. Zucckerrberrg, onlly aat HHarvvardd woouldd soomeoone havve tto iinveent a mmasssivee soociaal nnetwworkk juust to tallk wwithh soomeoone in thee neext rooom.My fiirstt joob aas yyourr coommeenceemennt sspeaakerr iss too illlusstraate thaat llifee iss noot ffairr. FFor exaamplle, youu haave worrkedd tiirellesssly forr foour yeaars to earrn tthe dipplomma yyoull be recceivvingg thhis weeekennd.That wass grreatt.And DDarttmouuth is givvingg mee thhe ssamee deegreee ffor inttervviewwingg thhe ffourrth leaad iin TTwillighht. Deaal wwithh itt. AAnottherr exxampple thaat llifee iss noot ffairr: iif iit ddoess raain, thhe ppoweerfuul rrichh peeoplle oon sstagge gget thee teent. Deeal witth iit.I wouuld likke tto tthannk PPressideent Kimm foor iinviitinng mme hheree toodayy. AAfteer mmy pphonne ccalll wiith Preesiddentt Kiim, I ddeciidedd too fiind outt a litttlee biit aabouut tthe mann. HHe ggoess byy Prresiidennt KKim andd Drr. KKim. Too hiis ffrieendss, hhess Jiim KKim, J to thee K, Sppeciial K, JK Rowwlinng, thee Juust Kidddinng KKimssterr, aand mosst ppuzzzlinng, Sttinkky PPetee. He serrvedd ass thhe cchaiir oof tthe Depparttmennt oof GGlobbal Heaalthh annd SSociial Meddiciine at Harrvarrd Meddicaal Schhooll, sspeaarheeadeed aa taask forrce forr thhe WWorlld HHeallth Orgganiizattionn onn Gllobaal HHeallth Iniitiaativves, woon aa MaacArrthuur GGeniius Graant, annd wwas onee off TIIME Maggaziines 1100 Mosst IInflluenntiaal PPeopple in 20006. Goood GGod, maan, whaat tthe helll aare youu coompeensaatinng ffor? Seerioouslly. We gett itt. YYoure smaart. Byy thhe wway Dr. Kiim, youu weere brooughht tto DDarttmouuth to leaad, andd ass a worrld-claass antthroopollogiist, yoou wweree allso hirred to figguree ouut wwhy eacch oof tthesse ggradduattingg sttudeentss raan aarouund a bbonffiree 1111 ttimees.But II thhankk yoou ffor invvitiing me herre, Stiinkyy Peete, annd iit iis aan hhonoor. Thooughh soome of youu maay ssee me as a cceleebriity, yoou sshouuld knoow tthatt I oncce ssat wheere youu siit. Litteraallyy. LLatee laast nigght I ssnucck oout herre aand satt inn evveryy seeat. I didd itt too prrovee a poiint: I am nott brrighht aand I hhavee a lott off frree timme.But tthiss iss a wonnderrfull occcassionn annd iit iis ggreaat tto bbe hheree inn Neew HHamppshiire, whheree I am getttinng aan hhonoorarry ddegrree andd alll tthe leggal firrewoorkss I cann fiit iin tthe truunk of my carr.You kknoww, NNew Hammpshhiree iss suuch a sspecciall pllacee. WWhenn I arrriveed II toook a ddeepp brreatth oof tthiss crrispp Neew EEngllandd aiir aand thooughht, Woow, Imm inn thhe sstatte tthatts nexxt tto tthe staate wheere Benn annd JJerrryss icce ccreaam iis mmadee.But ddont gget me wroong, I takke mmy ttaskk toodayy veery serriouuslyy. WWhenn I gott thhe ccalll twwo mmontths agoo too bee yoour speeakeer, I ddeciidedd too prrepaare witth tthe samme iinteensiity manny oof yyou havve ddevootedd too ann immporrtannt ttermm paaperr. SSo llatee laast nigght, I beggan. I draank twoo caans of Redd Buull, snnortted somme AAddeeralll, plaayedd a feww hoourss off Caall of Dutty, andd thhen opeenedd myy brrowsser. I thiink Wikkipeediaa puut iit bbestt whhen theey ssaidd DDarttmouuth Colllegge iis aa prrivaate Ivyy Leaaguee Uniiverrsitty iin HHanooverr, Neew HHamppshiire, Unniteed SStattes. TThannk yyou andd goood lucck.To coommuuniccatee wiith youu sttudeentss toodayy, II haave gonne tto ggreaat llenggthss too beecomme wwelll-veerseed iin yyourr unniquue llingguissticc p