编号：时间：2021年x月x日书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟页码：第1页 共1页包凡一GRE写作讲义GRE 评改文章及写作策略Current Problems1. no examples or evidence to support statements2. failure to demonstrate the understanding of the complexitya. implications of a statement (legally ban smoking), b. qualification of a statement (narrow down a general and vague statement), c. and acknowledge the merits in an opposing view3. three body paragraphs instead of two (prepare examples in advance)4. to apply the TOEFL tactics to GRE 5. simple repition in the final paragraph6. poor working vocabularySolutionswrite exampleswrite beginning paragraphs and and an outline for the body partsend it to me at my email addressincrease working vocabularyReserch Paper as an exampleFirst Chapter1. hypothesis and null-hypothesis2. literature review3. methodology discussion4. conclusionSecond ChapterThe content of the surveyThe operation or the calculationConcluding ChapterFirst paragraph states what this chapter is about.The last paragraph states what has been talked about.PS as examplesBand 4 and 6 as examples 缺乏例证Nonmainstream areas and Human NeedsRules: Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.Topic: Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science. 原稿： It is true that in contemporary society the nonmainstream areas of inquiry, such as astrology, fortune-telling and the like, satisfy human needs more than the mainstream science. But what we should bear in mind is that, always it is the mainstream science that point out the way to overcome various obstacles, and light up peoples hope in true meaning.语言错误：1. “It is true” 是多余的。第一句话中的”more”出了很大的问题，曲解了原意, 把 nonmainstream 的作用说的比mainstream enquiry 还要重要。原来说的是 “play a vital role”, 并不是 “pivotal” role. 书面英语中应避免使用“And the like”。“燃起希望”：spark hope, kindle hope“light up” 的意思是给人带来兴奋和快乐，如：The shining report cards lit Fathers face up. /The funny caroon picture lit up the childrens eyes. 改后稿： In contemporary society nonmainstream areas of inquiry such as astrology and fortune-telling satisfy human needs more than mainstream science. But we should bear in mind that mainstream science always points the way to overcome obstacles and sparks peoples hope in finding truth.第1段写作要求1. put forth a clear perspective 2. demonstrate the understanding of the complexities or implications of the issue.3. prepare readers for the main ideas of the following paragraphs改后稿2. In deed, astrology, fortune-telling and psychic readings can sometimes provide comfort when we are feeling sad, color our lives when we are bored, and spark hope when we are depressed. But these pursuits are ultimately based on falsehood and their benefits are short-lived and illusionary. Sicence remains the most reliable means through which we understand ourselves, derive wisdom, confidence and hope.原稿： Although called nonmainstream areas, we should not ignore that to some extent, these areas such as astrology play an active role in society. We can see that in various festivals, no matter Chinese (such as Spring Festival) or Western (such as Valentines Day), people are willing to resort to astrology, mostly hoping to meet good luck. This kind of activitiy always meets their needs, because the anquivolent nature of astrology destines it will not dampen peoples enthusiasm and hope. With these nonmainstream areas peoples life becomes more colorful. 点评：第一句话语法错误，主语应该是”these areas”, 但是现在看上去变成了 “We”.“No matter”应改为“whether”。 “meet good luck” 不是好的英语表达。“This kind” 后面应该是复数。“destine”一词表示“一定”，通常是用形容词：He was destined for an important career in the Church of England. /By family tradition he was destined for a career as a regular army officer.Mandelas statement from prison destined to smolder in the homes and servant quarters.改后稿： Although they are called nonmainstream, we should admit that to some extent, beliefs such as astrology play an active role in society. We can see that in various holidays, whether Chinese or Western, people are willing to resort to nonmainstream ideas. These kinds of activities meet our needs because they encourage enthusiasm and hope and make peoples lives more colorful.评语：本文中的例子不足以支持论点，情人节不是什么占星术，人们也不会寄希其带来好运。中国的春节习俗在中国是非常主流的文化内容，不能算是非主流的。国外源于宗教的节日都不能归类于非主流。作者说了非主流的信仰能够丰富人们的生活，我们一定要用具体的实例来说明这些信仰如何丰富了人们的生活。其实，在这段中可以说明一下非科学的信仰解决了人们的什么方面的需求，在接下来的段落中对比说明科学又能给人们带来什么不同的好处。 改I think the example you use in this paragraph is very good, and appropriate for the topic of the paragraph.后稿2：Although they are called nonmainstream, we should admit that to some extent, beliefs such as astrology play an active role in society. A glance at the astrology colu