Official Commencement Address Graduating Class of 2014from Maharishi University of Management, May 24th, 2014by Jim CarreyThank you Bevan, thank you all!I brought one of my paintings to show you today. Hope you guys are gonna be able see it okay. Its not one of my bigger pieces. You might wanna move down front to get a good look at it. (kidding)Faculty, Parents, Friends, Dignitaries. Graduating Class of 2014, and all the dead baseball players coming out of the corn to be with us today. (laughter) After the harvest theres no place to hide the fields are empty there is no cover there! (laughter)I am here to plant a seed that will inspire you to move forward in life with enthusiastic hearts and a clear sense of wholeness. The question is, will that seed have a chance to take root, or will I be sued by Monsanto and forced to use their seed, which may not be totally “Ayurvedic.” (laughter)Excuse me if I seem a little low energy tonight today whatever this is. I slept with my head to the North last night. (laughter) Oh man! Oh man! You know how that is, right kids? Woke up right in the middle of Pitta and couldnt get back to sleep till Vata rolled around, but I didnt freak out. I used that time to eat a large meal and connect with someone special on Tinder. (laughter)Life doesnt happen to you, it happens for you. How do I know this? I dont, but Im making sound, and thats the important thing. Thats what Im here to do. Sometimes, I think thats one of the only things that are important. Just letting each other know were here, reminding each other that we are part of a larger self. I used to think Jim Carrey is all that I was.Just a flickering light A dancing shadow The great nothing masquerading as something you can nameDwelling in forts and castles made of witches wishes! Sorry, a Freudian slip thereSeeking shelter in caves and foxholes, dug out hastilyAn archer searching for his target in the mirrorWounded only by my own arrowsBegging to be enslavedPleading for my chainsBlinded by longing and tripping over paradise can I get an “Amen”?! (applause)You didnt think I could be serious did ya? I dont think you understand who youre dealing with! I have no limits! I cannot be contained because Im the container. You cant contain the container, man! You cant contain the container! (laughter)I used to believe that who I was ended at the edge of my skin, that I had been given this little vehicle called a body from which to experience creation, and though I couldnt have asked for a sportier model, (laughter) it was after all a loaner and would have to be returned. Then, I learned that everything outside the vehicle was a part of me, too, and now I drive a convertible. Top down wind in my hair! (laughter)I am elated and truly, truly, truly excited to be present and fully connected to you at this important moment in your journey. I hope youre ready to open the roof and take it all in?! (audience doesnt react) Okay, four more years then! (laughter)I want to thank the Trustees, Administrators and Faculty of MUM for creating an institution worthy of Maharishis ideals of education. A place that teaches the knowledge and experience necessary to be productive in life, as well as enabling the students, through Transcendental Meditation and ancient Vedic knowledge to slack off twice a day for an hour and a half! (laughter) dont think youre fooling me! (applause) but, I guess it has some benefits. It does allow you to separate who you truly are and whats real, from the stories that run through your head.You have given them the ability to walk behind the minds elaborate set decoration, and to see that there is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog thats going to eat you. (laughter) That may sound like no big deal, but many never learn that distinction and spend a great deal of their lives living in fight or flight response.Id like to acknowledge all you wonderful parents way to go for the fantastic job youve done for your tireless dedication, your love, your support, and most of all, for the attention youve paid to your children. I have a saying, “Beware the unloved,” because they will eventually hurt themselves. or me! (laughter)But when I look at this group here today, I feel really safe! I do! Im just going to say it my room is not locked! My room is not locked! (laughter) No doubt some of you will turn out to be crooks! But white-collar stuff Wall St. ya know, that type of thing crimes committed by people with self-esteem! Stuff a parent can still be proud of in a weird way. (laughter)And to the graduating class of 2017 minus 3! You didnt let me finish! (laughter) Congratulations! (applause) Yes, give yourselves a round of applause, please. You are the vanguard of knowledge and consciousness; a new wave in a vast