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407 The One Where Chandler Crosses a LineScene: Monica and Rachels, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!Ross: Yknow if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Yknow? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriend - which by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves) (Pause) Phoebe: Wow! Could everyone totally see up his robe?All: Yeah! Oh my God!Opening CreditsScene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.Casey: Here you go.Joey: Great! All right, so Ill call you later.Casey: Great! (leaves) Chandler: (rushing up) Hey-Hey-Hey! Who was that?Joey: That would be Casey. Were going out tonight.Chandler: Goin out, huh? Wow! Wow! (Does a little celebration dance) So things didnt work out with Kathy, huh? Bummer.Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.Chandler: (shocked) What?Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs) Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!Joey: Yeah. Why are you getting so upset?Chandler: Well, Im upset - for you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.) Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Yknow? Make a choice, pick a lane.Joey: Whos Elaine?Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross and Monica are sitting on the couch playing cards, and Phoebe is working on a new song.Phoebe: (singing) Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease. Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, greatest of ease. (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn. Then go right into it.Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.Phoebe: Oh yeah, thats right, the keyboards, huh?Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.) Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.Ross: Yeah.Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, The Sound.Phoebe: I wanna hear The Sound.Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.Monica: Yeah!Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up in - No, yeah, okay. (Runs out.) Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, The Sound.Ross: Okay, guys.Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you.Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im.Chandler: (interrupting) Oh my God! Play!(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash.) Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm. terrific.Chandler: Really, bitchin!Phoebe: Wow, it was so - wow!Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!Rachel: Yeah, I mean, you should play in public!Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uh - ohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, Im - I am so. (starts to break up and leaves)
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