615 The One That Could Have BeenScene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!Monica: Oh my God!Phoebe: Wow!Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy.Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.Joey: Ohh-oh, wasnt he cheating on you with her?Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.Monica: Why did they get divorced?Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.Phoebe: Which time?Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.Chandler: Sure I would!All: (simultaneously) Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right!Chandler: What, you guys really think that Im that shallow?Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.Phoebe: What if I had taken that job at Merrill Lynch?Ross: What?!Rachel: Merrill Lynch?Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought yknow that if Id work with stocks, Id have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?Opening CreditsTranscribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.Scene: A newsstand, Ross is buying a magazine and gets in line behind a woman.Ross: (recognizing her) Oh my God! Rachel Green?Rachel: (gasps) Rob Tillman!Ross: No-no. Its-its me, Ross!Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. Ross Tillman.Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!Ross: Yeah. Right.Rachel: Wow! How are you?!Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)Rachel: Ohh! Me too!Ross: Is-isnt it the best?Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.Rachel: Ohh, I would love too.Ross: Yeah? Oh-oh, shed be so excited!Rachel: Ohh! Okay!Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)Rachel: Oh wait, dont you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dontRachel: (laughs) Oh yeah? Okay.Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him