第四章 英美小说汉译第一节第二节第三节第四节第一节 英国小说汉译（1）41-45Original 41 It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.Original 41 (continued) Mr Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick Mr Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humor, reserve, and caprice, that parts, sarcastic humor, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three and twenty years had the experience of three and twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented she fancied herself nervous. was discontented she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.news. (Jane Austen: (Jane Austen: Pride and PrejudicePride and Prejudice) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(3) Notes(1) Sentence structure: The present selection consists of three paragraphs, The present selection consists of three paragraphs, selected from the beginning and the end of the first selected from the beginning and the end of the first chapter of the novel. Of the three, the first paragraph chapter of the novel. Of the three, the first paragraph is composed of a single complex sentence, consisting is composed of a single complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and a subject clause; the second of a main clause and a subject clause; the second paragraph is again composed of a single complex paragraph is again composed of a single complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of concession and a main clause followed by an adverbial concession and a main clause followed by an adverbial clause of consequence; and the third paragraph is clause of consequence; and the third paragraph is composed of five sentences, of which the first is a composed of five sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and a adverbial clause of consequence; the second and the adverbial clause of consequence; the second and the third are simple sentences; the fourth is again a third are simple sentences; the fourth is again a complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of time and a main clause; and the last is a compound time and a main clause; and the last is a compound sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses. sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses. (2) Additional complication： The first paragraph is an emphatic sentence, where it serves as the formal subject while the nominal clause introduced by that serves as the real subject; the sentence in the second paragraph begins with an adverbial clause; and in the last paragraph, the fourth sentence begins with an adverbial clause (3) Notes： Of however little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters, the backbone structure is however little known the feelings or views , this truth is so well fixed that .B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Overall stylistic features(2) Periodicity(3) Structural complication(4) Parallel structure(5) Cohesive device(6) Structural and lexical formality(1) Overall stylistic features: In the first paragraph, the first part of the In the first paragraph, the first part of the sentence is composed of formal words such as sentence is composed of formal words such as truthtruth, , universaluniversal, , acknowledgedacknowledged, etc. to give the , etc. to give the impression that the paragraph under discussion impression that the paragraph under discussion must be concerned with a matter of magnitude must be concerned with a matter of magnitude and great significance. However, in the last part and great significance. However, in the last part of the sentence, especially in of the sentence, especially in must be in want of must be in want of a wifea wife, not only words of daily use are employed , not only words of daily use are employed but also the they words reveal that it is actually but also the they words reveal that it is actually concerned with a trivial of marrying ones concerned with a trivial of marrying ones daughters out, hence the ironic tone. daughters out, hence the ironic tone. Overall stylistic features (continued): The expression The expression some one or other of their some one or other of their daughtersdaughters is ironic in that it discloses Mrs is ironic in that it discloses Mrs Bennets idea that no matter which of the five Bennets idea that no matter which of the five daughters is married out, in so far as it is her daughters is married out, in so far as it is her daughter, it will be a matter of greatest daughter, it will be a matter of greatest happiness. The expression also indicates that of happiness. The expression also indicates that of the five daughters, she gives almost no the five daughters, she gives almost no preference to any. However, as revealed in the preference to any. However, as revealed in the chapters to come, Mr Bennet always gives chapters to come, Mr Bennet always gives preference to Elizabeth, second daughter of the preference to Elizabeth, second daughter of the five. five. Overall stylistic features (continued): In the last paragraph of the first chapter, a In the last paragraph of the first chapter, a contrast is presented between personalities of contrast is presented between personalities of Mr and Mrs Bennet in that in describing Mr Mr and Mrs Bennet in that in describing Mr Bennets personality, parallel structure is turned Bennets personality, parallel structure is turned to and the description of Mrs Bennets to and the description of Mrs Bennets personality is almost completely composed of personality is almost completely composed of loose sentences. This choice of sentence loose sentences. This choice of sentence structure, reinforced by the corresponding structure, reinforced by the corresponding differences in the choice of vocabulary, is quite differences in the choice of vocabulary, is quite symbolic. symbolic. Overall stylistic features (continued): In the selection, especially in the last paragraph, parallel structures are used. In the first paragraph, owing to the use of the special sentence pattern, expectation and suspension is created on the part of the reader and an ironic tone is implied. In the last paragraph, different sentence patterns are used to symbolize the different personalities of the man and his wife.(2) Periodicity： The sentence in the first paragraph is periodic in structure for the inverted order; the sentence in the second paragraph is also periodic for the beginning with an adverbial clause; and the fourth sentence in the third paragraph is periodic also for the beginning with an adverbial clause.(3) Structural complication： The sentence in the first paragraph, that in the second paragraph, and the first and fourth sentences in the third paragraph are structurally complicated as revealed by the grammatical analysis. (4) Parallel structure： Parallel structures are frequently used, for example, in possession of a good fortune and in want of a wife; feelings or views; some one or other; quick parts, sarcastic humor, reserve, and caprice; mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper; and the business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news. (5) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: first, in the first paragraph, the found as follows: first, in the first paragraph, the emphatic sentence is used; second, parallel structures emphatic sentence is used; second, parallel structures are popularly used, especially in the description of Mr are popularly used, especially in the description of Mr Bennets personality; third, grammatical and lexical Bennets personality; third, grammatical and lexical cohesive devices are frequently turned to, for instance, cohesive devices are frequently turned to, for instance, this truththis truth is used to refer back to is used to refer back to a trutha truth; ; such a mansuch a man is used to refer back to is used to refer back to a single man in possession of a a single man in possession of a good fortunegood fortune; ; hehe in the second paragraph is used to in the second paragraph is used to refer to refer to such a mansuch a man; the possessive pronoun ; the possessive pronoun theirtheir is is used to refer to used to refer to the surrounding familiesthe surrounding families; ; Mr BennetMr Bennet is is used in contrast with used in contrast with his wifehis wife; ; sheshe and and herher are used to are used to refer to refer to his wifehis wife, and so on., and so on.(6) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, example, truthtruth, , universallyuniversally, , acknowledgeacknowledge, , possessionpossession, , fortunefortune, , surroundingsurrounding, , familyfamily, , considerconsider, , propertyproperty, , mixturemixture, , sarcasticsarcastic, , humorhumor, , reservereserve, , capricecaprice, , experienceexperience, , insufficientinsufficient, and , and others. others. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 这是一条整个宇宙都承认的真理，一个占有丰富财产这是一条整个宇宙都承认的真理，一个占有丰富财产的男人，必定缺少一个妻子。的男人，必定缺少一个妻子。 不管怎样鲜为人知这样的男人的感情或者观点可能是不管怎样鲜为人知这样的男人的感情或者观点可能是什么样的，在他们初次进入一个居民点的时候，这样的真什么样的，在他们初次进入一个居民点的时候，这样的真理在周围的家庭的脑子里如此根深蒂固，以致他被认为是理在周围的家庭的脑子里如此根深蒂固，以致他被认为是他们的这个或那个女儿的合法财产。他们的这个或那个女儿的合法财产。 本内特先生是这样的一个混合物，反应很快，讽刺而本内特先生是这样的一个混合物，反应很快，讽刺而又幽默，不太讲话，变化无常，以致于二十有三年的经验又幽默，不太讲话，变化无常，以致于二十有三年的经验都不足以使他的妻子懂得他的性格。她的脑子要摸透就不都不足以使他的妻子懂得他的性格。她的脑子要摸透就不那么困难了。她是个理解力平平的女人，没有什么信息，那么困难了。她是个理解力平平的女人，没有什么信息，脾气捉摸不定。当她不愉快的时候，她就想当然地认为自脾气捉摸不定。当她不愉快的时候，她就想当然地认为自己神经有问题，她的生活的正事就是打算将女儿们嫁出去，己神经有问题，她的生活的正事就是打算将女儿们嫁出去，她的安慰就是串门子和打听消息。她的安慰就是串门子和打听消息。Comments: On the whole, the above can be regarded, in ready terms, as a literal translation, literal both lexically in some cases, and structurally, perhaps, throughout. For example, 混合物; 二十有三年;经验are lexical cases, while不管怎样鲜为人知这样的男人的感情或者观点可能是什么样的; 以致于二十有三年的经验都不足以使他的妻子懂得他的性格are structural cases in point.B) Translation 2: 这条真理举世皆知：一个有钱的单身汉总缺少个妻子。这条真理举世皆知：一个有钱的单身汉总缺少个妻子。 当这样的单身汉每搬到一个新地方的时候，尽管人们当这样的单身汉每搬到一个新地方的时候，尽管人们对他的感情如何、观点怎样一无所知，在周围住户的心目对他的感情如何、观点怎样一无所知，在周围住户的心目中，这条真理依然根深蒂固，以致将他看成了他们的这个中，这条真理依然根深蒂固，以致将他看成了他们的这个女儿或那个女儿的合法财产。女儿或那个女儿的合法财产。 本内特先生集聪颖过人、幽默挖苦、不苟言笑、变幻本内特先生集聪颖过人、幽默挖苦、不苟言笑、变幻莫测于一身，他的妻子凭着和他朝夕相处二十三年的经验莫测于一身，他的妻子凭着和他朝夕相处二十三年的经验都摸不透他的性格。她的脑子倒不难揣测。她是个智力平都摸不透他的性格。她的脑子倒不难揣测。她是个智力平平、孤陋寡闻、动不动就发脾气的女人。不高兴的时候就平、孤陋寡闻、动不动就发脾气的女人。不高兴的时候就想当然地认为自己神经出了问题。她生活中的正事就是将想当然地认为自己神经出了问题。她生活中的正事就是将女儿们嫁出去，她的生活安慰就是走村串户，打探消息。女儿们嫁出去，她的生活安慰就是走村串户，打探消息。Comments: The translation is structurally acceptable now. However, lexically speaking, such expressions as 脑子； 动不动就发发脾气 and others may sound colloquial. In addition, 动不动就发发脾气 is not an expression parallel to what has gone before.C) Translation 3: 有条真理举世皆知：一个有钱的单身汉总要有条真理举世皆知：一个有钱的单身汉总要娶个妻子。娶个妻子。 每当这样的单身汉新搬到某个地方，尽管对每当这样的单身汉新搬到某个地方，尽管对他的想法如何、见解怎样一无所知，在周边住户他的想法如何、见解怎样一无所知，在周边住户的心目中，这条真理依然根深蒂固，以致将他看的心目中，这条真理依然根深蒂固，以致将他看成了他们的这个或那个女儿的合法财产。成了他们的这个或那个女儿的合法财产。 本内特先生聪颖过人、幽默挖苦、不苟言笑、本内特先生聪颖过人、幽默挖苦、不苟言笑、变幻莫测，他的妻子和他朝夕相处二十三年都捉变幻莫测，他的妻子和他朝夕相处二十三年都捉摸他不透。她的想法不难揣测。她智力平平、孤摸他不透。她的想法不难揣测。她智力平平、孤陋寡闻、易发脾气。不高兴的时候就想当然地认陋寡闻、易发脾气。不高兴的时候就想当然地认为自己神经受了刺激。生活中的正事就是将女儿为自己神经受了刺激。生活中的正事就是将女儿嫁出去，生活的慰藉就是走村串户，打探消息。嫁出去，生活的慰藉就是走村串户，打探消息。Comments: The present translation has already solved the problems mentioned in the above comments. In addition, the substitution of 有for这at the very beginning, the addition of每at the beginning of the second paragraph, the deletion of集于一身 in the third paragraph, the substitution of 慰藉for安慰 and others help to make the translation authentic to a great extent.Original 42 My dear Mr Bennet, said his lady to him one My dear Mr Bennet, said his lady to him one day, have you heard that Metherfield Park is let day, have you heard that Metherfield Park is let at last?at last? Mr Benent replied that he had not. Mr Benent replied that he had not. But it is, returned she; for Mrs Long has just But it is, returned she; for Mrs Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.been here, and she told me all about it. Mr Bennet made no answer. Mr Bennet made no answer. Do you want to know who has taken it? cried Do you want to know who has taken it? cried his wife impatiently.his wife impatiently. YouYou want to tell me, and I have no objection want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.to hearing it. This was invitation enough. This was invitation enough.Original 42 (continued) Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs Long says that Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and so Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr Morris much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week.house by the end of next week. What is his name? What is his name? Bingley. Bingley. Is he married or single? Is he married or single? Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!for our girls! Original 42 (continued) Is that his design in settling here?Is that his design in settling here? Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, therefore likely that he may fall in love with one of them, therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.you must visit him as soon as he comes. I see no occasion for that. You and girls may go, or I see no occasion for that. You and girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr Bingley might like you the best of the party.them, Mr Bingley might like you the best of the party. My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be any thing share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be any thing extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty.beauty. Original 42 (continued) In such cases, a woman has not often much In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of.beauty to think of. But my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr But my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr Bingley when he comes into the neighborhood.Bingley when he comes into the neighborhood. It is more than I engage for, I assure you. It is more than I engage for, I assure you.1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The present passage is selected from Chapter 1 of Pride and Prejudice, composed of direct speeches, reporting clauses and intervening narratives. Generally speaking, all the sentences are not very complicated in structure, except perhaps for only one or two.(2) Notes： First, First, Mrs Long says that Netherfield is Mrs Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of Englandthe north of England; ; that he came down on that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and so much delighted with it that he agreed and so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr Morris immediatelywith Mr Morris immediately; ; that he is to take that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end his servants are to be in the house by the end of next weekof next week can be understood as can be understood as Mrs Long Mrs Long says that, that and thatsays that, that and that ; ; Notes (continued)： second, in second, in You and girls may go, or you may send You and girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr Bingley for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr Bingley might like you the best of the partymight like you the best of the party, the , the whicwhich in the h in the clause introduced by clause introduced by whichwhich refers to refers to you may send them you may send them by themselvesby themselves; and ; and give overgive over means means give upgive up; and third, ; and third, in reading the Mr Bennets direct speeches, attentions in reading the Mr Bennets direct speeches, attentions should be paid to such expressions as should be paid to such expressions as this was invitation this was invitation enoughenough; ; is that his design in settling hereis that his design in settling here; ; I see no I see no occasion for thatoccasion for that; ; a woman has not often much beauty a woman has not often much beauty to think ofto think of; ; it is more than I engage forit is more than I engage for, etc. Free of , etc. Free of grammatical complication, the expressions may not be grammatical complication, the expressions may not be easy to understand as they may seem to be.easy to understand as they may seem to be.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： Throughout the selection, it is clearly indicated that Throughout the selection, it is clearly indicated that Mr Bennet is passive from the beginning to the end and Mr Bennet is passive from the beginning to the end and that he is so reserve that some of his speeches in the that he is so reserve that some of his speeches in the dialogue are realized as narrative. On the other hand, dialogue are realized as narrative. On the other hand, Mrs Bennet is always active and none of her speeches is Mrs Bennet is always active and none of her speeches is realized as narrative at all. Specifically speaking, there realized as narrative at all. Specifically speaking, there are sixteen direct speeches in the selection, of which are sixteen direct speeches in the selection, of which nine belong to Mrs Benett and seven belong to Mr nine belong to Mrs Benett and seven belong to Mr Benett. However, Mrs Bennets direct speeches are Benett. However, Mrs Bennets direct speeches are composed of 15 sentences, of which some are composed of 15 sentences, of which some are coordinate clauses. However, most of Mrs Bennets coordinate clauses. However, most of Mrs Bennets speeches serve to provide information. speeches serve to provide information. Periodicity (continued)： Mr Bennets direct speeches are composed of 8 Mr Bennets direct speeches are composed of 8 sentences. However, 3 of them are in the form of sentences. However, 3 of them are in the form of question, intended for seeking information. This shows question, intended for seeking information. This shows that first, in the first chapter, Mrs Bennet serves primarily that first, in the first chapter, Mrs Bennet serves primarily as an information provider and secondarily as a boss as an information provider and secondarily as a boss telling her husband what to do while Mr Bennet mainly telling her husband what to do while Mr Bennet mainly serves as an information receiver. Second, as you will serves as an information receiver. Second, as you will discover, Mr Bennet actually shares a great deal with his discover, Mr Bennet actually shares a great deal with his wife in thinking of marrying out their daughters, but he wife in thinking of marrying out their daughters, but he always pretends to have no such an intention. And his always pretends to have no such an intention. And his pretension keeps not only his wife but also the reader, to pretension keeps not only his wife but also the reader, to some extent, in the dark. some extent, in the dark. (2) Structural complication： All the sentences in the selection are not structurally complicated, and in fact there are only seven complex sentences, which, generally speaking, are quite short.(4) Parallel structure： Parallel structures are frequently used, for Parallel structures are frequently used, for example, example, Mrs Long has just been here, and she Mrs Long has just been here, and she told me all about it; you want to tell me, and I told me all about it; you want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it; that Netherfield have no objection to hearing it; that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of Englandthe north of England; ; that he came down on that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and so much delighted with it that he agreed and so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr Morris immediatelywith Mr Morris immediately; ; that he is to take that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of servants are to be in the house by the end of next weeknext week; and there are many others.; and there are many others.(4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: first, adjacency pairs are be found as follows: first, adjacency pairs are frequently used; second, parallel structures are frequently used; second, parallel structures are popularly employed; third, grammatical and popularly employed; third, grammatical and lexical cohesive devices ubiquitous in the lexical cohesive devices ubiquitous in the selection, for instance, selection, for instance, hehe, , himhim and and hishis are used are used to refer to to refer to Mr BennetMr Bennet in some cases and to in some cases and to Mr Mr BingleyBingley in others; in others; singlesingle and and fortunefortune are are repeated, though in meaning not in the exact repeated, though in meaning not in the exact form, and so on.form, and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, ladylady, , repliedreplied, , impatientlyimpatiently, , objectionobjection, , invitationinvitation, , delightdelight, , agreeagree, , immediatelyimmediately; ; possessionpossession, , servantservant, and others., and others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1 “ “我亲爱的本内特先生，我亲爱的本内特先生，” ”他的夫人有一天他的夫人有一天对他说，对他说，“ “你听说内瑟菲尔德庄园到底租出去了你听说内瑟菲尔德庄园到底租出去了吗？吗？” ” 本内特先生回答，他没有听说。本内特先生回答，他没有听说。 “ “但是租出去了，但是租出去了，” ”她回应说，她回应说，“ “因为朗太太因为朗太太刚到这里来过，她把所有的一切都告诉我了。刚到这里来过，她把所有的一切都告诉我了。” ” 本内特先生没作回答。本内特先生没作回答。 “ “你想知道谁租了它吗？你想知道谁租了它吗？” ”她不耐烦地叫道。她不耐烦地叫道。 “ “你你你你想告诉我，我也不反对听听。想告诉我，我也不反对听听。” ” 这就足够是邀请了。这就足够是邀请了。Translation 1 (continued): “ “为什么，亲爱的，你必须知道。朗太太说内瑟菲尔为什么，亲爱的，你必须知道。朗太太说内瑟菲尔德被一个来自英格兰北部的非常有钱的青年租去了；他星德被一个来自英格兰北部的非常有钱的青年租去了；他星期一坐四轮马车来看地方，非常满意，立即和莫里斯先生期一坐四轮马车来看地方，非常满意，立即和莫里斯先生达成协议；在米迦节之前占有庄园，他的部分佣人下周底达成协议；在米迦节之前占有庄园，他的部分佣人下周底住进房子。住进房子。” ” “ “他是什么名字？他是什么名字？” ” “ “宾利！宾利！” ” “ “结了婚还是单身？结了婚还是单身？” ” “ “哦！单身，亲爱的，的的确确。一个十分有钱的单哦！单身，亲爱的，的的确确。一个十分有钱的单身汉，一年四千到五千英镑。对我们的女儿们是多好的一身汉，一年四千到五千英镑。对我们的女儿们是多好的一件事啊！件事啊！” ”Translation 1 (continued): “ “他住到这里就是为了这个？他住到这里就是为了这个？” ” “ “为了这个！胡说八道，你怎么这么说话！但是很有为了这个！胡说八道，你怎么这么说话！但是很有可能，他爱上了她们中的一个，因此，他一来你就得去拜可能，他爱上了她们中的一个，因此，他一来你就得去拜访他。访他。” ” “ “我看不出有那样的机会。你和女儿们能去，你也可我看不出有那样的机会。你和女儿们能去，你也可以让她们自己去，这样或许更好些。她们都漂亮，你也很以让她们自己去，这样或许更好些。她们都漂亮，你也很漂亮。也许宾利先生更看上你。漂亮。也许宾利先生更看上你。” ” “ “我亲爱的，你恭维我了。我也曾经有过自己的美丽，我亲爱的，你恭维我了。我也曾经有过自己的美丽，我现在不装作更加出众了。一个女人，有五个女儿都长大我现在不装作更加出众了。一个女人，有五个女儿都长大了，她就应该不再想自己的美丽了。了，她就应该不再想自己的美丽了。” ” “ “这种情况下，一个女人不常常老想着自己的美丽了。这种情况下，一个女人不常常老想着自己的美丽了。” ” “ “可是，我亲爱的，他一搬到这个居民点来，你真的可是，我亲爱的，他一搬到这个居民点来，你真的必须去看宾利先生。必须去看宾利先生。” ” “ “我确切地告诉你，我是办不到的。我确切地告诉你，我是办不到的。” ”Comments: This is a rigid word-for-word translation as This is a rigid word-for-word translation as can be demonstrated by the following examples: can be demonstrated by the following examples: This was invitation enoughThis was invitation enough is translated into is translated into这就这就足够是邀请了足够是邀请了; the exclamatory ; the exclamatory whywhy is translated is translated intointo为什么为什么; ; take the possessiontake the possession is translated is translated intointo占有占有, and others. However, the major , and others. However, the major stylistic features such as the aggressiveness of stylistic features such as the aggressiveness of Mrs Bennet and the passiveness of Mr Bennet Mrs Bennet and the passiveness of Mr Bennet are retained there in the translation.are retained there in the translation.B) Translation 2: “ “亲爱的本内特先生，亲爱的本内特先生，” ”有一天他的夫人对他有一天他的夫人对他说，说，“ “内瑟菲尔庄园到底租出去了，你听说了吗内瑟菲尔庄园到底租出去了，你听说了吗？” ” 本内特先生回答说，他没听说。本内特先生回答说，他没听说。 “ “真的租出去了，真的租出去了，” ”夫人说。夫人说。“ “刚才郎太太来刚才郎太太来过，她把租出去的经过都告诉我了。过，她把租出去的经过都告诉我了。” ” 本内特先生没有回答。本内特先生没有回答。 “ “你难道不想了解谁租去了吗？你难道不想了解谁租去了吗？” ”夫人不耐烦夫人不耐烦地嚷道。地嚷道。 “ “既然你想对我说，听听也无妨。既然你想对我说，听听也无妨。” ” 这就足以打开她的话匣子了。这就足以打开她的话匣子了。Translation 2 (continued): “ “亲爱的，你必须知道。郎太太说，被英格兰北部的亲爱的，你必须知道。郎太太说，被英格兰北部的一个有钱的青年人租去了。她说，星期一他坐着一辆驷马一个有钱的青年人租去了。她说，星期一他坐着一辆驷马马车来看地方，一眼就看中了，接着就和莫里斯先生谈妥马车来看地方，一眼就看中了，接着就和莫里斯先生谈妥了。她说，他在米迦勒节前搬进来，下周末仆人们就来收了。她说，他在米迦勒节前搬进来，下周末仆人们就来收拾房子了。拾房子了。” ” “ “叫什么名字？叫什么名字？” ” “ “宾利。宾利。” ” “ “结婚没有？结婚没有？” ” “ “哦，亲爱的，没结婚，的确没结婚！一个有钱的单哦，亲爱的，没结婚，的确没结婚！一个有钱的单身汉，每年四五千英镑。对女儿们真是好消息啊！身汉，每年四五千英镑。对女儿们真是好消息啊！” ” “ “此话怎讲？和她们有什么关系？此话怎讲？和她们有什么关系？” ”Translation 2 (continued): “ “亲爱的本内特先生，亲爱的本内特先生，” ”夫人答道。夫人答道。“ “你怎么这么不你怎么这么不讨人喜欢！你肯定知道我在盘算着他娶我们的某个女儿。讨人喜欢！你肯定知道我在盘算着他娶我们的某个女儿。” ” “ “他就是为这个搬来的？他就是为这个搬来的？” ” “ “为这个，无稽之谈！你怎么这样说话呢！他为这个，无稽之谈！你怎么这样说话呢！他有可能有可能爱上她们中的一个。为此，他一来你就得去拜访他。爱上她们中的一个。为此，他一来你就得去拜访他。” ” “ “我不得便。你和女儿们去，或者你叫女儿们自己去，我不得便。你和女儿们去，或者你叫女儿们自己去，这样或许更好些。女儿们漂亮，你也漂亮，兴许宾利先生这样或许更好些。女儿们漂亮，你也漂亮，兴许宾利先生就喜欢你呢。就喜欢你呢。” ” “ “亲爱的，你不要恭维我了。不过我也有过豆蔻年华，亲爱的，你不要恭维我了。不过我也有过豆蔻年华，可我现在不故作娇艳了。一个女人家，五个女儿都成人了，可我现在不故作娇艳了。一个女人家，五个女儿都成人了，不应该再考虑自己漂亮不漂亮了。不应该再考虑自己漂亮不漂亮了。” ” “ “那么说，女人也不总认为自己很漂亮了。那么说，女人也不总认为自己很漂亮了。” ” “ “可是，亲爱的，宾利先生一搬来，你就得去拜访他。可是，亲爱的，宾利先生一搬来，你就得去拜访他。” ” “ “我可告诉你，办不到。我可告诉你，办不到。” ”Comments: With Chinese norms taken into account, With Chinese norms taken into account, readjustments are made throughout the present readjustments are made throughout the present translation. For example, the following are translation. For example, the following are typical Chinese expressions:typical Chinese expressions:既然你想对我说，听既然你想对我说，听听也无妨听也无妨; ; 这就足以打开她的话匣子了这就足以打开她的话匣子了; ; 你怎么这你怎么这么不讨人喜欢么不讨人喜欢; ; 为这个，无稽之谈为这个，无稽之谈; ; 你不要恭维我你不要恭维我了了, and others. Consequently, the translation is , and others. Consequently, the translation is much improved on in terms of readability, much improved on in terms of readability, coherence and authenticity. However, there is coherence and authenticity. However, there is still some room for further improvement.still some room for further improvement.C) Translation 3: “ “亲爱的，亲爱的，” ”有一天本内特先生的夫人对他有一天本内特先生的夫人对他说，说，“ “内瑟菲尔庄园终于租出去了，听说了吗？内瑟菲尔庄园终于租出去了，听说了吗？” ” 本内特回答说没听说。本内特回答说没听说。 “ “真的租出去了，真的租出去了，” ”夫人说。夫人说。“ “郎太太刚来过，郎太太刚来过，都告诉我了。都告诉我了。” ” 本内特没吭声。本内特没吭声。 “ “你难道不想知道谁租的吗？你难道不想知道谁租的吗？” ”夫人不耐烦地夫人不耐烦地嚷道。嚷道。 “ “既然你要说，听听也无妨。既然你要说，听听也无妨。” ” 一句话就把她的话匣子打开了。一句话就把她的话匣子打开了。Translation 3 (continued): “ “亲爱的，你必须知道。郎太太说，英格兰北亲爱的，你必须知道。郎太太说，英格兰北部的一个青年人租的，很有钱。他星期一坐驷马部的一个青年人租的，很有钱。他星期一坐驷马马车来看房子，一眼就看中了，和莫里斯先生谈马车来看房子，一眼就看中了，和莫里斯先生谈妥了。他在米迦勒节前搬进来，下周末仆人就来妥了。他在米迦勒节前搬进来，下周末仆人就来收拾房子了。收拾房子了。” ” “ “叫什么名字？叫什么名字？” ” “ “宾利。宾利。” ” “ “结婚没有？结婚没有？” ” “ “哦，亲爱的，未婚，单身一人！有钱，每年哦，亲爱的，未婚，单身一人！有钱，每年四五千英镑。女儿们的运气真好啊！四五千英镑。女儿们的运气真好啊！” ” “ “怎讲？关她们什么事？怎讲？关她们什么事？” ”Translation 3 (continued): “ “亲爱的，亲爱的，” ”夫人道。夫人道。“ “你真不讨人喜欢！你肯定知你真不讨人喜欢！你肯定知道我在盘算着，他会娶我某个女儿。道我在盘算着，他会娶我某个女儿。” ” “ “是为这事搬来的？是为这事搬来的？” ” “ “为这个，胡说！这叫什么话！他为这个，胡说！这叫什么话！他可能可能爱上一个。因爱上一个。因此，他一来你就得去拜访他。此，他一来你就得去拜访他。” ” “ “我不得便。你和女儿们去，要不叫她们自己去，这我不得便。你和女儿们去，要不叫她们自己去，这样或许还好些。孩子们漂亮，你也漂亮，兴许宾利先生就样或许还好些。孩子们漂亮，你也漂亮，兴许宾利先生就喜欢你呢。喜欢你呢。” ” “ “亲爱的，不要哄我了。我年轻时也妩媚妖娆，可现亲爱的，不要哄我了。我年轻时也妩媚妖娆，可现在不故作娇艳了。一个女人家，五个女儿，都长大了，不在不故作娇艳了。一个女人家，五个女儿，都长大了，不能再考虑自己了。能再考虑自己了。” ” “ “那么说，女人的漂亮也是有时节的了。那么说，女人的漂亮也是有时节的了。” ” “ “可是，亲爱的，宾利先生一来，你就得去拜访他。可是，亲爱的，宾利先生一来，你就得去拜访他。” ” “ “我可告诉你，不好办。我可告诉你，不好办。” ”Comments: In the present translation, readjustments are In the present translation, readjustments are further made. For example, to imitate the further made. For example, to imitate the features of Chinese dialogue and to obtain features of Chinese dialogue and to obtain textual coherence, such colloquial expressions textual coherence, such colloquial expressions are used as follows: are used as follows: 英格兰北部的一个青年人租英格兰北部的一个青年人租的，很有钱的，很有钱; ; 女儿们的运气真好啊女儿们的运气真好啊; ; 为这个，胡说为这个，胡说！这叫什么话这叫什么话; ; 你和女儿们去，要不叫她们自己去你和女儿们去，要不叫她们自己去; ; 我年轻时也妩媚妖娆我年轻时也妩媚妖娆; ; 女人的漂亮也是有时节的女人的漂亮也是有时节的了了. In addition, the sentences have generally . In addition, the sentences have generally become shorter, more readable and more become shorter, more readable and more authentic.authentic.Original 43 While the present century was in its teens, and in one While the present century was in its teens, and in one sunshiny morning in June, there drove up to the great sunshiny morning in June, there drove up to the great iron gate of Miss Pinkertons academy for young ladies, iron gate of Miss Pinkertons academy for young ladies, on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with two fat on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with two fat horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in a horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in a three-cornered hat and a wig, at the rate of four miles three-cornered hat and a wig, at the rate of four miles an hour. A black servant who reposed on the box beside an hour. A black servant who reposed on the box beside the fat coachman, uncurled his bandy legs as soon as the fat coachman, uncurled his bandy legs as soon as the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkertons shining the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkertons shining brass plate, and as he pulled the bell, at least a score of brass plate, and as he pulled the bell, at least a score of young heads were seen peering out of the narrow young heads were seen peering out of the narrow windows of the stately old brick house. Nay, the acute windows of the stately old brick house. Nay, the acute observer might have recognized the little red nose of observer might have recognized the little red nose of good-natured Miss Jemima Pinkerton herself, rising over good-natured Miss Jemima Pinkerton herself, rising over some geranium-pots in the window of that ladys own some geranium-pots in the window of that ladys own drawing-room.drawing-room.(From William Makepeace Thackeray, (From William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity FairVanity Fair) )1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(3) Notes(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of three sentences, of The selection consists of three sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, composed which the first is a complex sentence, composed of an adverbial clause of time and a main of an adverbial clause of time and a main clause; the second is a compound complex clause; the second is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, of which the first is composed of a main clause of which the first is composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of time with an and an adverbial clause of time with an attributive clause embedded in the main clause attributive clause embedded in the main clause while the second is composed of an adverbial while the second is composed of an adverbial clause of time and a main clause; and the last is clause of time and a main clause; and the last is a simple sentence.a simple sentence.(2) Additional complication： The first sentence begins with an adverbial The first sentence begins with an adverbial clause together with a coordinate prepositional clause together with a coordinate prepositional phrase, and it has phrase, and it has on Chiswick Mallon Chiswick Mall and and with two with two fat horses in blazing harnessfat horses in blazing harness embedded as embedded as parentheses. And in the main clause of the first parentheses. And in the main clause of the first sentence, the subject and the predicate are sentence, the subject and the predicate are inverted. In the second sentence, the attributive inverted. In the second sentence, the attributive clause in the main clause can be regarded as an clause in the main clause can be regarded as an implicit parenthesis. implicit parenthesis. (3) Notes： The backbone structure of the first coordinate clause in the second sentence would be a black servantuncurled his bandy legs as soon as. The pattern for the last sentence is subject + predicate verb + object + object complement (rising over).B) Stylistic analysis：(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： The selection consists of three sentences, of which the first is a periodic sentence, beginning with a subordinate clause and the main clause is inverted in order with two parentheses located one after the other. The second coordinate clause of the second sentence is periodic in structure, beginning with an adverbial clause. (2) Structural complication： The grammatical analysis together and the analysis above show that the selection is structurally complicated though each sentence is structurally complicated in its own way. (3) Parallel structure： Parallel structures can hardly be found except, for example, for the asymmetric one, while the present century was in its teens, and in one sunshiny morning in June; and the coordinate structure of the second sentence. (4) Cohesive device: In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: family coach, horses, harness, driven and coachman are semantically related; box and equipage are also semantically related; house, gate, windows and academy are also semantically related; Miss Pinkerton is repeatedly used, and in one case, the full name is employed; and so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, present, century, repose, servant, equipage, opposite, academy, and others. However, these words are frequently used now.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 当本世纪正处在头十几个年头的时候，在六当本世纪正处在头十几个年头的时候，在六月的某个阳光明媚的早晨，一辆大型家庭马车朝月的某个阳光明媚的早晨，一辆大型家庭马车朝着坐落在齐斯威克大街颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校着坐落在齐斯威克大街颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的大铁门驶来。车子由一个胖胖的戴着三角帽、的大铁门驶来。车子由一个胖胖的戴着三角帽、披着假发的车夫驾驶着，速度为每小时四英里。披着假发的车夫驾驶着，速度为每小时四英里。一个黑佣人静静地坐在车夫旁边的箱子上，松开一个黑佣人静静地坐在车夫旁边的箱子上，松开了蜷曲的双腿，当行李驾驶到颦克尔顿小姐闪亮了蜷曲的双腿，当行李驾驶到颦克尔顿小姐闪亮的铜门牌对面的时候。当他一按门铃，至少看到的铜门牌对面的时候。当他一按门铃，至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋透过那庄严的老砖房的狭窄了二十个年轻的脑袋透过那庄严的老砖房的狭窄的窗户朝外瞥望。不，目光敏锐的人可能看出来的窗户朝外瞥望。不，目光敏锐的人可能看出来了，那位性格温柔的捷宓默了，那位性格温柔的捷宓默. .颦克尔顿小姐的小红颦克尔顿小姐的小红鼻子，她自己站起身来，头伸过自己休息室窗台鼻子，她自己站起身来，头伸过自己休息室窗台上天竺葵花盆，朝窗外观望。上天竺葵花盆，朝窗外观望。Comments: The translation may sound acceptable now. However, The translation may sound acceptable now. However, if we go deep into it as a whole, or if we regard it as an if we go deep into it as a whole, or if we regard it as an artistic product, we may find that there exist three artistic product, we may find that there exist three problems at least. First, the expressionproblems at least. First, the expression头十几个年头头十几个年头may may sound colloquial and incongruous in its environment; sound colloquial and incongruous in its environment; second, some clauses are too long, for example, second, some clauses are too long, for example, 一辆大一辆大型家庭马车朝着坐落在齐斯威克大街颦克尔顿小姐的女子型家庭马车朝着坐落在齐斯威克大街颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的大铁门驶来学校的大铁门驶来; ; 车子由一个胖胖的戴着三角帽、披着车子由一个胖胖的戴着三角帽、披着假发的车夫驾驶着假发的车夫驾驶着; ; 至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋透过那至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋透过那庄严的老砖房的狭窄的窗户朝外瞥望庄严的老砖房的狭窄的窗户朝外瞥望 and others; third, and others; third, some expressions are not coherent enough in the some expressions are not coherent enough in the context, for example, context, for example, 松开了蜷曲的双腿松开了蜷曲的双腿. When we read . When we read this expression, we are not certain why the servant this expression, we are not certain why the servant should uncurl his bandy legs.should uncurl his bandy legs.B) Translation 2: 当本世纪才开始了十几个年头，六月里一个当本世纪才开始了十几个年头，六月里一个阳光明媚的早晨，一个胖胖的车夫，戴着三角帽，阳光明媚的早晨，一个胖胖的车夫，戴着三角帽，披着假发，驾驶着一辆大型家庭马车，以每小时披着假发，驾驶着一辆大型家庭马车，以每小时四英里的速度，朝着坐落在齐斯威克大街颦克尔四英里的速度，朝着坐落在齐斯威克大街颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的大铁门驶来。一个黑人佣人顿小姐的女子学校的大铁门驶来。一个黑人佣人静静地坐在车夫旁边的箱子上，行李车一驶到颦静静地坐在车夫旁边的箱子上，行李车一驶到颦克尔顿小姐的闪亮的铜门牌前面，他就松开了蜷克尔顿小姐的闪亮的铜门牌前面，他就松开了蜷曲的双腿。他一按门铃，至少看到了二十个年轻曲的双腿。他一按门铃，至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋透过那庄严的老砖房的狭窄的窗户朝外窥的脑袋透过那庄严的老砖房的狭窄的窗户朝外窥视。不，目光敏锐的人可能已经发现了，那位性视。不，目光敏锐的人可能已经发现了，那位性格温柔的捷宓默格温柔的捷宓默. .颦克尔顿小姐的小红鼻子，她自颦克尔顿小姐的小红鼻子，她自己站起身来，头伸过自己休息室窗台上天竺葵花己站起身来，头伸过自己休息室窗台上天竺葵花盆，朝窗外观望。盆，朝窗外观望。Comments: In the present translation, some of the above-mentioned problems are solved, but not all, for example, 他就松开了蜷曲的双腿is now coherent with what has gone before but not with what comes after; 至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋透过那庄严的老砖房的狭窄的窗户朝外窥视 and那位性格温柔的捷宓默.颦克尔顿小姐的小红鼻子 are still too long.C) Translation 3: 本世纪才过了十几年，六月的一个早晨，阳光明媚，本世纪才过了十几年，六月的一个早晨，阳光明媚，一个胖胖的车夫，戴着三角帽，披着假发，驾驶着一辆大一个胖胖的车夫，戴着三角帽，披着假发，驾驶着一辆大型家庭马车，以每小时四英里的速度，朝着坐落在齐斯威型家庭马车，以每小时四英里的速度，朝着坐落在齐斯威克大街的颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的大铁门驶来。一个黑克大街的颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的大铁门驶来。一个黑人佣人，紧挨在车夫的旁边，盘着双腿，静静地坐在行李人佣人，紧挨在车夫的旁边，盘着双腿，静静地坐在行李箱上。行李车一驶到颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的门口，那箱上。行李车一驶到颦克尔顿小姐的女子学校的门口，那个佣人一看到闪亮的铜门牌，就松开了蜷曲的双腿，跳下个佣人一看到闪亮的铜门牌，就松开了蜷曲的双腿，跳下车来。学校是古老而规整的砖房，窗户狭窄。他一按门铃，车来。学校是古老而规整的砖房，窗户狭窄。他一按门铃，至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋从窗内朝外窥视。不，目光至少看到了二十个年轻的脑袋从窗内朝外窥视。不，目光敏锐的人可能已经发现了，那位性格温和的捷宓默敏锐的人可能已经发现了，那位性格温和的捷宓默. .颦克颦克尔顿小姐，在自己的休息室里站起身来，头伸过窗台上天尔顿小姐，在自己的休息室里站起身来，头伸过窗台上天竺葵花盆，朝窗外观望。虽然看不清人，但能看见她的小竺葵花盆，朝窗外观望。虽然看不清人，但能看见她的小红鼻子。红鼻子。Comments: By reducing long clauses into short ones, by By reducing long clauses into short ones, by deletion and addition, we have enhanced the deletion and addition, we have enhanced the authenticity and readability of the translation to authenticity and readability of the translation to a much greater extent. For example, for a much greater extent. For example, for coherence withcoherence with就松开了蜷曲的双腿就松开了蜷曲的双腿, , 盘着双腿盘着双腿is is inserted; the three actions ininserted; the three actions in紧挨在车夫的旁边紧挨在车夫的旁边，盘着双腿盘着双腿，静静地坐在行李箱上静静地坐在行李箱上are organized in are organized in a more natural sequence; a more natural sequence; 能看见她的小红鼻子能看见她的小红鼻子is is pushed back withpushed back with虽然看不清人虽然看不清人inserted, and so inserted, and so on. Consequently, the present translation sounds on. Consequently, the present translation sounds more coherent and authentic, with readability more coherent and authentic, with readability improved.improved.Original 44 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way in short, the period was so far like direct the other way in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.superlative degree of comparison only.(From Charles Dickens, (From Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two CitiesA Tale of Two Cities) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure: The selection, strictly speaking, consists of a The selection, strictly speaking, consists of a single sentence only, which, however, falls into single sentence only, which, however, falls into two parts with the dash serving as the two parts with the dash serving as the demarcation. The first part is composed of demarcation. The first part is composed of antithetic couplets, though implied but antithetic couplets, though implied but unfortunately, not marked by punctuations. The unfortunately, not marked by punctuations. The second part assumes a second part assumes a so that so that pattern pattern and in the that clause, there is a parenthesis.and in the that clause, there is a parenthesis.(2) Additional complication: There are two additional complications. First, all the antitheses in the first part of the sentences are not marked by punctuations; and second, in the second part of the sentences, there are two parentheses, that is, in short and for good or for evil.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity: The part before the dash is composed of structurally simple clauses while the part after the dash has two parentheses embedded, in short and for good or for evil, and so it can be regarded as periodic in structure.(2) Structural complication： From the viewpoint of sentence structure, the single sentence consists of 15 clauses, 14 of which are simple in structure and the last of which is complex in structure, composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of result. (3) Parallel structure: The selection is preeminently marked by antithetic couplets, which, the couplets, though implicitly paired, serve as premises, leading to the conclusion after the dash: in short, the period was so far . (4) Cohesive device: In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: in the selection, there are seven antithetic couplets, in each of which, there are synonyms and antonyms, making the greatest contribution to the lexical and structural coherence for the selection. (5) Structural and lexical formality: Structurally, the selection is formal in that the clauses it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, epoch, incredulity, despair, period, authority, present, period, authority, insist, receive, superlative, degree, comparison and so on.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 那是最好的年代，那是最坏的年代，那是智那是最好的年代，那是最坏的年代，那是智慧的年月，那是糊涂的年月，那是信赖的时代，慧的年月，那是糊涂的年月，那是信赖的时代，那是轻信的时代，那是光明的季节，那是黑暗的那是轻信的时代，那是光明的季节，那是黑暗的季节，那是希望的春天，那是失望的冬日，我们季节，那是希望的春天，那是失望的冬日，我们面前应有尽有，我们面前万物皆空，我们都在直面前应有尽有，我们面前万物皆空，我们都在直接朝天堂挺进，我们都在朝地狱进军接朝天堂挺进，我们都在朝地狱进军一句话，一句话，那个岁月与现在的岁月极其相似，某些喧嚣的权那个岁月与现在的岁月极其相似，某些喧嚣的权威们坚持认为可以接受那样的岁月，为了峥嵘的威们坚持认为可以接受那样的岁月，为了峥嵘的前景或为了不可告人的目的，只是以最高级的方前景或为了不可告人的目的，只是以最高级的方式。式。Comments: The translation we are faced with is the result of a word-for-word transformation process, though the translated clause as an independent entity is beyond challenge, except perhaps for the part after the dash. However, the antithetic pattern of the original is not impressively clear to the Chinese reader and the part after the dash should be rearranged if we are running after an easy reading.B) Translation 2: 那是最好的年代，那是最坏的年代；那是智慧的年月，那是糊涂的年月；那是信赖的时代，那是轻信的时代；那是光明的季节，那是黑暗季节；那是希望的春天，那是失望的冬日；我们面前应有尽有，我们面前万物皆空；我们都在直接朝天堂挺进，我们都在朝地狱进军一句话，那个岁月与现在的岁月极其相似，某些喧嚣的权威们，为了峥嵘的前景或是为了不可告人的目的，坚持以唯一的最高级的方式认可那样的岁月。Comments: The present translation has improved on the previous by rearranging the part after the dash and by changing the comma after every antithetic couplet into a semi-column. And the last clause assumes the pattern某些喧嚣的权威们, 坚持以唯一的最高级的方式认可那样的岁月, though the middle part of which could be fronted.C) Translation 3: 那是黄金岁月，那是粪土流年；那是智慧年份，那是糊涂春秋；那是信誉时日，那是轻信时光；那是光明时段，那是黑暗季节；那是希望的春日，那是失望的冬天；我们面前应有尽有，我们面前万物皆空；我们都在直接朝天堂挺进，我们都在直接朝地狱进军一句话，那个岁月与现在极其相似，为了光明的前景或为了不可告人的目的，某些善于张扬的权威们，坚持以唯一的最高形式拥抱那段历史。Comments: The present translation has altered the previous in The present translation has altered the previous in three places. First, the repeated expressions of time in three places. First, the repeated expressions of time in every couplet which may sound tedious to the Chinese every couplet which may sound tedious to the Chinese reader are now replaced by expressions similar in reader are now replaced by expressions similar in meaning but different in form in accordance with the meaning but different in form in accordance with the Chinese norms, which requires that in an antithetic Chinese norms, which requires that in an antithetic couplet, repeated expressions should be reduced to the couplet, repeated expressions should be reduced to the fewest possible. Second, in each couplet, the last syllable fewest possible. Second, in each couplet, the last syllable of every even line now bears an even tone to satisfy the of every even line now bears an even tone to satisfy the requirement that in a Chinese regular verse, the rhyme requirement that in a Chinese regular verse, the rhyme should fall on the last syllable of each even line which should fall on the last syllable of each even line which bears an even tone. Third, the part after the dash is bears an even tone. Third, the part after the dash is further altered structurally with the middle part fronted. further altered structurally with the middle part fronted. Original 45 The family of Dashwood had been long settled in The family of Dashwood had been long settled in Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was Sussex. Their estate was large, and their residence was at Norland Park, in the center of their property, where, at Norland Park, in the center of their property, where, for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a for many generations, they had lived in so respectable a manner as to engage the general good opinion of their manner as to engage the general good opinion of their surrounding acquaintance. The late owner of this estate surrounding acquaintance. The late owner of this estate was a single man who lived a very advanced age, and was a single man who lived a very advanced age, and who for many years of his life had a constant companion who for many years of his life had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister. But her death, which and housekeeper in his sister. But her death, which happened ten years before his own, produced a great happened ten years before his own, produced a great alteration in home; for to supply her loss, he invited into alteration in home; for to supply her loss, he invited into his house the family of his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwood, his house the family of his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwood, the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it.to whom he intended to bequeath it. (From Jane Austen, (From Jane Austen, Sense and SensibilitySense and Sensibility) )1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of four sentences, of which the The selection consists of four sentences, of which the first is a simple sentence; the second is a compound first is a simple sentence; the second is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, of which the second contains an adverbial clause of of which the second contains an adverbial clause of place; the third is a complex compound sentence, place; the third is a complex compound sentence, composed of a main clause and two coordinate composed of a main clause and two coordinate attributive clauses; and the fourth is a compound attributive clauses; and the fourth is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, of which the first is composed of a main clause and an of which the first is composed of a main clause and an attributive clause while the second is composed of a attributive clause while the second is composed of a main clause with an attributive clause embedded at the main clause with an attributive clause embedded at the end of the coordinate clause. end of the coordinate clause. (2) Additional complication： In the second sentence, In the second sentence, in the center of their in the center of their propertyproperty can be regarded as a parenthesis while can be regarded as a parenthesis while for for many generationsmany generations is apparently a parenthesis; in the first is apparently a parenthesis; in the first coordinate clause of the last sentence, the attributive coordinate clause of the last sentence, the attributive clause is embedded as a parenthesis while the second clause is embedded as a parenthesis while the second coordinate clause begins with a prepositional phrase and coordinate clause begins with a prepositional phrase and has has the legal inheritor of the Norland estatethe legal inheritor of the Norland estate embedded embedded as a parenthesis. In the last sentence, as a parenthesis. In the last sentence, the legal inheritorthe legal inheritor and and the person to whomthe person to whom are in apposition to are in apposition to his his nephew Mr. Henry Dashwoodnephew Mr. Henry Dashwood that goes before them. that goes before them. And the object And the object the family of his nephew Mr. Henry the family of his nephew Mr. Henry DashwoodDashwood, , the legal inheritor of the Norland estatethe legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and , and the person to whom he intended to bequeath itthe person to whom he intended to bequeath it should should be placed before but is placed after the prepositional be placed before but is placed after the prepositional phrase phrase into his familyinto his family. .B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity: Of the four sentences in the selection, only the second and the last are periodic in that in the second sentence, there are two prepositional phrases, serving as parentheses, one before and the other after where; and the last sentence contains two parenthetic structures with the second coordinate clause beginning with an infinitive phrase together with the preposition for. (2) Structural complication： The second sentence is complicated in The second sentence is complicated in structure due to the adverbial clause of place on structure due to the adverbial clause of place on the one hand and the two parentheses before the one hand and the two parentheses before and after and after wherewhere on the other. The third sentence on the other. The third sentence contains two coordinate attributive clauses and contains two coordinate attributive clauses and the fourth is complicated with the attributive the fourth is complicated with the attributive clause in the form of parenthesis on the one clause in the form of parenthesis on the one hand and by embedding of the parentheses and hand and by embedding of the parentheses and the two nominal appositives on the other. And in the two nominal appositives on the other. And in the second appositive nominal phrase, there is a the second appositive nominal phrase, there is a subordinate attributive clause. subordinate attributive clause. (4) Parallel structure： Parallel structures are used, for example, who lived a very advanced age, and who had a constant companion and housekeeper in his sister; and the legal inheritor of the Norland estate, and the person to whom he intended to bequeath it. (4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; family and estate are repeated; Dashwood is used twice, though referring to different persons; property is used as the synonym for estate; Norland Park is used in connection with Sussex; bequeath is used in relation to inheritor and so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, estate, residence, property, generation, respectable, acquaintance, alteration, bequeath, inheritor and others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 达施伍德的家一直安顿在萨塞克斯。他们的达施伍德的家一直安顿在萨塞克斯。他们的房地产很大，他们的住所在诺兰庄园，在他们的房地产很大，他们的住所在诺兰庄园，在他们的财产的中心。在那儿，他们生活了好多代了，以财产的中心。在那儿，他们生活了好多代了，以一种受人尊敬的方式，得到了周围熟人的普遍好一种受人尊敬的方式，得到了周围熟人的普遍好评。这份房地产的已故主人是一个单身汉，活到评。这份房地产的已故主人是一个单身汉，活到年迈，在他的生活中多少年来一直与他的姐姐相年迈，在他的生活中多少年来一直与他的姐姐相依为伴，由姐姐操持家务。姐姐的死，比他自己依为伴，由姐姐操持家务。姐姐的死，比他自己的死早十年，使家庭发生了巨大的变化。因为为的死早十年，使家庭发生了巨大的变化。因为为了填补姐姐死后的空白，他将他的侄子亨利了填补姐姐死后的空白，他将他的侄子亨利. . 达达施伍德先生一家邀请到他家里，他是诺兰房地产施伍德先生一家邀请到他家里，他是诺兰房地产的合法继承人，也是他将要给他留下遗产的人。的合法继承人，也是他将要给他留下遗产的人。Comments: The above can be regarded as a word-for-word The above can be regarded as a word-for-word translation in that one of the key words, e.g. translation in that one of the key words, e.g. estateestate, is , is translated literally, for in English, the word means an translated literally, for in English, the word means an area consisting of extended land with large houses. In area consisting of extended land with large houses. In addition, the related word addition, the related word park park also means a large area also means a large area of land, hence the difficulty for translation. However, of land, hence the difficulty for translation. However, they are used in contrast in this selection. Structurally they are used in contrast in this selection. Structurally speaking, the following two sentences are also literally speaking, the following two sentences are also literally translated: translated: 姐姐的死，比他自己的死早十年，使家庭发生姐姐的死，比他自己的死早十年，使家庭发生了巨大的变化了巨大的变化; ; 因为为了填补姐姐死后的空白，他将他的因为为了填补姐姐死后的空白，他将他的侄子亨利侄子亨利. . 达施伍德先生一家邀请到他家里，他是诺兰房达施伍德先生一家邀请到他家里，他是诺兰房地产的合法继承人，也是他将要给他留下遗产的人地产的合法继承人，也是他将要给他留下遗产的人. The . The question, of course, lies in the awkwardness against question, of course, lies in the awkwardness against Chinese norms.Chinese norms.B) Translation 2: 达施伍德家族一直生活在萨塞克斯。田庄很大，住在田庄中心的诺兰庄园。在那儿，他们生活了好多代了，受人尊敬，得到周围人的普遍赞誉。田庄的已故主人是个单身汉，活到年迈，多少年来一直与他的姐姐相依为伴，由姐姐操持家务。姐姐比他早十年去世，她的死使这个家庭发生了巨大变化。为填补失落，他让他的侄子亨利. 达施伍德先生一家搬到他家，他是诺兰房地产的合法继承人，也是要为之留下遗产的人。Comments: In the present translation, readjustments are made with regard to the aforementioned points. In addition, clauses are chopped short. However, some expressions still remain problematic against Chinese norms, especially the following: 生活了好多代; 是一个单身汉; 活到年迈 and others.C) Translation 3: 达施伍德家族祖祖辈辈生活在萨塞克斯。田庄很大，住在田庄中心的诺兰庄园。祖祖辈辈受人尊敬，有口皆碑。田庄的已故主人终身不娶，活到耄耋之年，一直与姐姐相依为命，由姐姐操持家务。姐姐比他早十年去世，她一死，家庭发生了巨大变化。为填补失落，他让侄子亨利. 达施伍德先生一家搬来，他是诺兰财产的合法继承人，也是要为之留下遗产的人。Comments: To improve on the coherence, authenticity and readability, such ready Chinese expressions as the following are used: 祖祖辈辈; 受人尊敬; 有口皆碑; 终身不娶; 耄耋之年; 相依为命, 填补失落; 一.就, and others, of which most are four character Chinese expressions, although some of them are used irrespective of the original to some extent.Exercises41-45Exercises 41: Mrs Bennet designed not to make any reply; but Mrs Bennet designed not to make any reply; but unable to contain herself, began scolding one of her unable to contain herself, began scolding one of her daughters.daughters. Dont keep coughing so, Kitty, for heavens sake! Have Dont keep coughing so, Kitty, for heavens sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces.pieces. Kitty has no discretion on her coughs, said her father; Kitty has no discretion on her coughs, said her father; she times them ill.she times them ill. I do not cough for my own amusement, replied Kitty I do not cough for my own amusement, replied Kitty fretfully.fretfully. When is your next ball to be, Lizzy? When is your next ball to be, Lizzy? Tomorrow fortnight. Tomorrow fortnight. Aye, so it is, cried her mother, and Mrs Long does not Aye, so it is, cried her mother, and Mrs Long does not come back till the day before; so, it will be impossible for come back till the day before; so, it will be impossible for her to introduce him, for she will not know him herself.her to introduce him, for she will not know him herself.Exercises 41 (continued): Then my dear, you may have the advantage of your Then my dear, you may have the advantage of your friend, and introduce Mr Bingley to her.friend, and introduce Mr Bingley to her. Impossible, Mr Bennet, impossible, when I am not Impossible, Mr Bennet, impossible, when I am not acquainted with him; how can you be so teasing?acquainted with him; how can you be so teasing? I honor your circumspection. A fortnights I honor your circumspection. A fortnights acquaintance is certainly very little. One cannot know acquaintance is certainly very little. One cannot know what a man really is by the end of a fortnight. But if we what a man really is by the end of a fortnight. But if we do not venture, somebody else will; and after all, Mrs do not venture, somebody else will; and after all, Mrs Long and her nieces must stand their chance; and Long and her nieces must stand their chance; and therefore, as she will think it an act of kindness, if you therefore, as she will think it an act of kindness, if you decline the office, I will take it on myself.decline the office, I will take it on myself. The girls stared at their father. Mrs Bennet said only, The girls stared at their father. Mrs Bennet said only, Nonsense, nonsense!Nonsense, nonsense! Exercises 41 (continued): What can be the meaning of that emphatic What can be the meaning of that emphatic exclamation? cried he. Do you consider the forms of exclamation? cried he. Do you consider the forms of introduction, and the stress that is laid on them, as introduction, and the stress that is laid on them, as nonsense? I cannot quite agree with you there. What nonsense? I cannot quite agree with you there. What say you, Mary? For you are a young lady of deep say you, Mary? For you are a young lady of deep reflection I know, and read great books, and make reflection I know, and read great books, and make extracts.extracts. Mary wished to say something very sensible, but Mary wished to say something very sensible, but knew not how.knew not how. While Mary is adjusting her ideas, he continued, let While Mary is adjusting her ideas, he continued, let us return to Mr Beingley.us return to Mr Beingley. I am sick of Mr Bingley, cried his wife. I am sick of Mr Bingley, cried his wife.Exercises 41 (continued): I am sorry to hear that; but why did you I am sorry to hear that; but why did you not tell me so before? If I had known as much not tell me so before? If I had known as much this morning, I certainly would not have called this morning, I certainly would not have called on him. It is very unlucky; but since I have on him. It is very unlucky; but since I have actually paid the visit, we cannot escape the actually paid the visit, we cannot escape the acquaintance now.acquaintance now. The astonishment of the ladies was just what The astonishment of the ladies was just what he wished; that of Mrs Bennet perhaps he wished; that of Mrs Bennet perhaps surpassing the rest; though when the first surpassing the rest; though when the first tumult of joy was over, she began to declare tumult of joy was over, she began to declare that it was what she had expected all the while. that it was what she had expected all the while. Exercises 41 (continued): How good it was in you, my dear Mr Bennet! How good it was in you, my dear Mr Bennet! But I knew I should persuade you at last. I was But I knew I should persuade you at last. I was sure you loved your girls too well to neglect such sure you loved your girls too well to neglect such an acquaintance. Well, how pleased I am! And it an acquaintance. Well, how pleased I am! And it is such a good joke, too, that you should have is such a good joke, too, that you should have gone this morning, and never said a word about gone this morning, and never said a word about it till now.it till now. Now Kitty, you may cough as much as you Now Kitty, you may cough as much as you choose, said Mr Bennet; and, as he spoke, he choose, said Mr Bennet; and, as he spoke, he left the room, fatigued with raptures of his wife.left the room, fatigued with raptures of his wife.Exercises 42 : Not all that Mrs Bennet, however, with the assistance Not all that Mrs Bennet, however, with the assistance of her five daughters, could ask on the subject was of her five daughters, could ask on the subject was sufficient to draw from her husband any satisfactory sufficient to draw from her husband any satisfactory description of Mr Bingley. They attacked him in various description of Mr Bingley. They attacked him in various ways; with barefaced questions, ingenious suppositions, ways; with barefaced questions, ingenious suppositions, and distant surmises; but he eluded the skill of them all; and distant surmises; but he eluded the skill of them all; and they were at last obliged to accept the second-hand and they were at last obliged to accept the second-hand intelligence of their neighbor Lady Lucas. Her report was intelligence of their neighbor Lady Lucas. Her report was highly favorable. Sir William had been delighted with highly favorable. Sir William had been delighted with him. He was quite young, wonderfully handsome, him. He was quite young, wonderfully handsome, extremely agreeable, and to crown the whole, he meant extremely agreeable, and to crown the whole, he meant to be at the next assembly with a large party. Nothing to be at the next assembly with a large party. Nothing could be more delightful! To be fond of dancing was a could be more delightful! To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes certain step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes of Mr Bingleys heart were entertained.of Mr Bingleys heart were entertained.Exercises 42 (continued): If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfiled, said Mrs Bennet to her husband, and all at Netherfiled, said Mrs Bennet to her husband, and all the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for.wish for. In a few days Mr Bingley returned Mr Bennets visit, In a few days Mr Bingley returned Mr Bennets visit, and sat about ten minutes with him in his library. He had and sat about ten minutes with him in his library. He had entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies, of whose beauty he had heard much; but young ladies, of whose beauty he had heard much; but he saw only the father. The ladies were somewhat more he saw only the father. The ladies were somewhat more fortunate, for they had the advantage of ascertaining fortunate, for they had the advantage of ascertaining from an upper window, that he wore a blue coat and from an upper window, that he wore a blue coat and rode a black horse.rode a black horse.Exercises 43: Although the schoolmistresss letters are to be trusted Although the schoolmistresss letters are to be trusted no more nor less than churchyard epitaphs; yet, as it no more nor less than churchyard epitaphs; yet, as it sometimes happens that a person departs his life, who is sometimes happens that a person departs his life, who is really deserving of all the praises the stone-cutter carves really deserving of all the praises the stone-cutter carves over his bones; who is a good Christian, a good parent, over his bones; who is a good Christian, a good parent, child, wife, or husband; who actually does leave a child, wife, or husband; who actually does leave a disconsolate family to mourn his loss; so in academies of disconsolate family to mourn his loss; so in academies of the male and female sex it occurs every now and then, the male and female sex it occurs every now and then, that the pupils is fully worthy of the praises bestowed by that the pupils is fully worthy of the praises bestowed by the disinterested instructor. Now, Miss Amelia Sedley was the disinterested instructor. Now, Miss Amelia Sedley was a young lady of this singular species; and deserved not a young lady of this singular species; and deserved not only all that Miss Pinkerton said in her praise, but had only all that Miss Pinkerton said in her praise, but had many charming qualities which that pompous old many charming qualities which that pompous old Minerva of a woman could not see, from the differences Minerva of a woman could not see, from the differences of rank and age between her pupil and herself.of rank and age between her pupil and herself.(From William Makepeace Thackeray, (From William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity FairVanity Fair) )Exercises 44 : Very orderly and methodically he looked, with a hand on each Very orderly and methodically he looked, with a hand on each knee, and a loud watch ticking a sonorous sermon under his flapped knee, and a loud watch ticking a sonorous sermon under his flapped waistcoat, as though it pitted it gravity and longevity against the waistcoat, as though it pitted it gravity and longevity against the levity and evanescence of the brisk fire. He had a good leg, and was levity and evanescence of the brisk fire. He had a good leg, and was a little vain of it, for his brown stockings fitted sleek and close, and a little vain of it, for his brown stockings fitted sleek and close, and were of a fine texture; his shoes and buckles, too, though plain, were of a fine texture; his shoes and buckles, too, though plain, were trim. He wore an odd little sleek crisp flaxen wig, setting very were trim. He wore an odd little sleek crisp flaxen wig, setting very close to his head: which wig, it is to be presumed, was made of hair, close to his head: which wig, it is to be presumed, was made of hair, but which looked far more as though it were spun from filaments of but which looked far more as though it were spun from filaments of silk or glass. His linen, though not of a fineness in accordance with silk or glass. His linen, though not of a fineness in accordance with his stockings, was as white as the tops of the waves that broke his stockings, was as white as the tops of the waves that broke upon the neighboring beach, or the specks of sail that glinted in the upon the neighboring beach, or the specks of sail that glinted in the sunlight far at sea. A face, habitually suppressed and quieted, was sunlight far at sea. A face, habitually suppressed and quieted, was still lighted up under the quaint wig by a pair of moist bright eyes still lighted up under the quaint wig by a pair of moist bright eyes that it must have cost their owner, in years gone by, some pains to that it must have cost their owner, in years gone by, some pains to drill to the composed and reserved expression of Tellsons Bank.drill to the composed and reserved expression of Tellsons Bank. (Charles Dickens, (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two CitiesA Tale of Two Cities) )Exercises 45: By a former marriage, Mr. Henry Dashwood had one By a former marriage, Mr. Henry Dashwood had one son: by his present lady, three daughters. The son, a son: by his present lady, three daughters. The son, a steady respectable young man, was amply provided for steady respectable young man, was amply provided for by the fortune of his mother, which had been large, and by the fortune of his mother, which had been large, and half of which devolved on him on his coming of age. By half of which devolved on him on his coming of age. By his own marriage, likewise, which happened soon his own marriage, likewise, which happened soon afterwards, he added to his wealth. To him, therefore, afterwards, he added to his wealth. To him, therefore, the succession to the Norland estate was not so really the succession to the Norland estate was not so really important as to his sisters; for their fortune, independent important as to his sisters; for their fortune, independent of what might arise to them from their fathers inheriting of what might arise to them from their fathers inheriting that property, could be but small. Their mother had that property, could be but small. Their mother had nothing, and their father only seven thousand pounds in nothing, and their father only seven thousand pounds in his own disposal, for the remaining moiety of his first his own disposal, for the remaining moiety of his first wifes fortune was also secured to her child, and he had wifes fortune was also secured to her child, and he had only a life interest in it.only a life interest in it.(From Jane Austen, (From Jane Austen, Sense and SensibilitySense and Sensibility) )第二节 英国小说汉译（2）46-50Original 46 On an evening in the latter part of May a middle-aged On an evening in the latter part of May a middle-aged man was walking homeward from Shaston to the village man was walking homeward from Shaston to the village of Marlott, in the adjoining Vale of Blakemore or of Marlott, in the adjoining Vale of Blakemore or Blackmoor. The pair of legs that carried him were rickety, Blackmoor. The pair of legs that carried him were rickety, and there was a bias in his gait which inclined him and there was a bias in his gait which inclined him somewhat to the left of a straight line. He occasionally somewhat to the left of a straight line. He occasionally gave a smart nod, as if in confirmation of some opinion, gave a smart nod, as if in confirmation of some opinion, though he was not thinking of anything in particular. An though he was not thinking of anything in particular. An empty egg-basket was slung upon his arm, the nap of empty egg-basket was slung upon his arm, the nap of his hat was ruffled, a patch being quite worn away at its his hat was ruffled, a patch being quite worn away at its brim where his thumb came in taking it off. Presently he brim where his thumb came in taking it off. Presently he was met by an elderly parson astride on a gray mare, was met by an elderly parson astride on a gray mare, who, as he rode, hummed a wandering tune.who, as he rode, hummed a wandering tune.(From Thomas Hardy, (From Thomas Hardy, Tess of the dUrbervillesTess of the dUrbervilles) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of five sentences, of which the The selection consists of five sentences, of which the first is a simple sentence; the second is a compound first is a simple sentence; the second is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, of which the first is composed of a main clause and an of which the first is composed of a main clause and an attributive clause while the second is also composed of a attributive clause while the second is also composed of a main clause and an attributive clause; the third is a main clause and an attributive clause; the third is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of concession; the fourth is a compound adverbial clause of concession; the fourth is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, the second of which has an attributive clause embedded; the second of which has an attributive clause embedded; and the last is again a complex sentence, composed of a and the last is again a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive clause with another main clause and an attributive clause with another attributive clause embedded within the first. attributive clause embedded within the first. (2) Additional complication： The first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase; the third sentence has as if in confirmation of some opinion embedded as a parenthesis; in the fourth sentence, a patch being quite worn away at its brim is an absolute nominal construction; and the last sentence begins with an adverb and has as he rode embedded as a parenthesis. B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： Of the five sentences, the first is a periodic Of the five sentences, the first is a periodic sentence beginning with a prepositional phrase; sentence beginning with a prepositional phrase; the second is a loose sentence while the third is the second is a loose sentence while the third is a periodic sentence again for the parenthesis in a periodic sentence again for the parenthesis in the form of an elliptic adverbial clause of the form of an elliptic adverbial clause of manner; the fourth is also a loose sentence manner; the fourth is also a loose sentence while the last is a periodic sentence for the fact while the last is a periodic sentence for the fact that the adverbial clause of time is in the form that the adverbial clause of time is in the form of a parenthesis. In a word, in the selection, of a parenthesis. In a word, in the selection, periodic and loose sentences are interposed with periodic and loose sentences are interposed with all the odd-numbered sentences being periodic all the odd-numbered sentences being periodic and all the even-numbered sentences being and all the even-numbered sentences being loose. loose. (2) Structural Complication: Of the five sentences, four are either complex or compound complex sentences; and the first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase; the third sentence has an elliptic clause embedded in the form of a parenthesis to provide additional information; and the last sentence has a parenthesis embedded.(3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures could hardly be found except an empty egg-basket was slung upon his arm, the nap of his hat was ruffled; and perhaps Blakemore or Blackmoor.(4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; he and his are repeatedly used to refer to a middle-aged man; legs and arm are parts of the mans body; the egg-basket and the hat are what he carried; the nap, patch and brim are used in connection with the hat, and so on. .(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, rickety, incline, straight, occasionally, confirmation, particular, and others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 五月后半月某天夜晚，一位中年男子，正在从莎斯顿朝附近的布雷克莫或布莱克摩山谷的马尔罗特村走去。那双承载他的腿软弱无力，走起路来有些偏斜，使他稍微朝直线的左侧倾斜。有时他会意地点点头，好像在肯定某种意见，虽然他不在思考某种特定的东西。手臂上挂着一只空空的鸡蛋篮，帽子的线头已经隆起，帽沿边的补丁已经磨破了，那儿他的大拇指伸进来摘下帽子。很快，他遇到了一位年迈的教士，骑着一头灰色的毛驴。他一边骑着，一边哼着走调的小调。Comments: By following the original rigidly, we have produced a translation readable and authentic to some extent, but on it, improvements could be further made, especially on the translation of the last part of the last but one sentence and the very last sentence. As for the wording, there is much to be desired. B) Translation 2: 五月已经过去半个月了，某天夜晚，一位中五月已经过去半个月了，某天夜晚，一位中年男子，正在从莎斯顿朝附近的布雷克莫或布莱年男子，正在从莎斯顿朝附近的布雷克莫或布莱克摩山谷的马尔罗特村走去。那双承重的腿软弱克摩山谷的马尔罗特村走去。那双承重的腿软弱乏力，走起路来歪歪斜斜，身子稍微向左侧倾斜。乏力，走起路来歪歪斜斜，身子稍微向左侧倾斜。有时心领神会地点点头，好像在肯定某种意见，有时心领神会地点点头，好像在肯定某种意见，虽然他不在思考某种特定的东西。手臂上挂着一虽然他不在思考某种特定的东西。手臂上挂着一只空空的鸡蛋篮，帽子的线头已经隆起，帽沿边只空空的鸡蛋篮，帽子的线头已经隆起，帽沿边的补丁已经磨破，大拇指从那儿伸进来摘下帽子。的补丁已经磨破，大拇指从那儿伸进来摘下帽子。很快，迎面来了一位年迈的教士，骑着一头灰色很快，迎面来了一位年迈的教士，骑着一头灰色的毛驴。一边走着，一边哼着走调的小调。的毛驴。一边走着，一边哼着走调的小调。Comments: Improvements are made on the translation of the first three sentences and of some parts of the last two. However, 虽然他不在思考某种特定的东西; 很快，迎面来了一位年迈的教士; 走调的小调are not either congruous in the context or sufficiently authentic against the Chinese norms.C) Translation 3: 马尔罗特村坐落在布雷克莫或布莱克摩山谷。马尔罗特村坐落在布雷克莫或布莱克摩山谷。五月的后半月，有天夜晚，一位中年男子，离开五月的后半月，有天夜晚，一位中年男子，离开了莎斯顿，朝附近的马尔罗特村走去。那双腿软了莎斯顿，朝附近的马尔罗特村走去。那双腿软弱乏力难以支撑他的身子，走起路来步履蹒跚，弱乏力难以支撑他的身子，走起路来步履蹒跚，躯体稍微向左侧倾斜。他不时地点点头，心领神躯体稍微向左侧倾斜。他不时地点点头，心领神会，好像在肯定某种意见，虽然并没有思考任何会，好像在肯定某种意见，虽然并没有思考任何问题。手臂上挎着一只鸡蛋篮，空空的，帽子破问题。手臂上挎着一只鸡蛋篮，空空的，帽子破旧，线头隆起，帽沿上的补丁也破了，大拇指从旧，线头隆起，帽沿上的补丁也破了，大拇指从那儿伸进来摘下帽子。就在这时，迎面来了一位那儿伸进来摘下帽子。就在这时，迎面来了一位年迈的教士，骑着一头灰毛驴。一边走着，一边年迈的教士，骑着一头灰毛驴。一边走着，一边哼着小曲，哼着哼着就走调了。哼着小曲，哼着哼着就走调了。Comments: In the present translation, such authentic Chinese In the present translation, such authentic Chinese expressions are employed as follows: expressions are employed as follows: 五月的后半月五月的后半月; ; 离离开了开了, , 朝朝走去走去; ; 步履蹒跚步履蹒跚; ; 心领神会心领神会; ; 就在这时就在这时; ; 哼着哼着就走调了哼着哼着就走调了, and others. The greatest change lies , and others. The greatest change lies in thatin that马尔罗特村坐落在布雷克莫或布莱克莫摩山谷马尔罗特村坐落在布雷克莫或布莱克莫摩山谷now now becomes an independent sentence and is fronted to the becomes an independent sentence and is fronted to the very beginning of the translation; and the retranslated very beginning of the translation; and the retranslated versions such asversions such as他不时地点点头，心领神会，好像在肯定他不时地点点头，心领神会，好像在肯定某种意见，虽然并没有思考任何问题某种意见，虽然并没有思考任何问题; ; 手臂上挎着一只鸡手臂上挎着一只鸡蛋篮，空空的，帽子破旧，线头隆起，帽沿上的补丁也破蛋篮，空空的，帽子破旧，线头隆起，帽沿上的补丁也破了了andand一边走着，一边哼着小曲，哼着哼着就走调了一边走着，一边哼着小曲，哼着哼着就走调了add add much to the readability, coherence and authenticity of much to the readability, coherence and authenticity of the translation. For this reason, the translation sounds the translation. For this reason, the translation sounds more authentic and readable.more authentic and readable.Original 47 Now what I want is Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon Facts: nothing else will ever be of any service to them. This is the principle on which I bring up my own children, and this is the principle on which I bring up these children. Stick to Facts, sir!Original 47(continued) The scene was a plain, bare, monotonous The scene was a plain, bare, monotonous vault of a school-room, and the speakers square vault of a school-room, and the speakers square forefinger emphasized his observations by forefinger emphasized his observations by underscoring every sentence with a line on the underscoring every sentence with a line on the schoolmasters sleeve. The emphasis was helped schoolmasters sleeve. The emphasis was helped by the speakers square wall of a forehead, by the speakers square wall of a forehead, which had his eyebrows for its base, while his which had his eyebrows for its base, while his eyes found commodious cellarage in two dark eyes found commodious cellarage in two dark caves, overshadowed by the wall.caves, overshadowed by the wall. (From Charles Dickens, (From Charles Dickens, Hard TimesHard Times) )1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of two paragraphs with the The selection consists of two paragraphs with the first containing 6 and the second containing 2 sentences. first containing 6 and the second containing 2 sentences. In the first paragraph, the first is a complex sentence, In the first paragraph, the first is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and a subject clause; the composed of a main clause and a subject clause; the second is a compound sentence, composed of an second is a compound sentence, composed of an imperative clause and a full clause; the third is also a imperative clause and a full clause; the third is also a compound sentence, composed of two coordinate compound sentence, composed of two coordinate imperative clauses; the fourth is again a compound imperative clauses; the fourth is again a compound sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses connected by a semi-colon; the fifth is a compound connected by a semi-colon; the fifth is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, either of which has an attributive clause embedded; and either of which has an attributive clause embedded; and the last is a simple sentence, composed of an imperative the last is a simple sentence, composed of an imperative clause only. clause only. Sentence structure (continued)： In the second paragraph, the first is a In the second paragraph, the first is a compound sentence, composed of two compound sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses; and the second is a complex coordinate clauses; and the second is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an sentence, composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of time with an attributive adverbial clause of time with an attributive clause embedded in the main clause.clause embedded in the main clause.(2) Additional complication： The attributive clause in the main clause of the second sentence serves as a parenthesis.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： The first paragraph is a paragraph of free The first paragraph is a paragraph of free direct speeches, with both the quotation marks direct speeches, with both the quotation marks and the reporting clause deleted. And all the and the reporting clause deleted. And all the free direct speeches point to the personality of free direct speeches point to the personality of the speaker who is described as a frank, the speaker who is described as a frank, stubborn, and somewhat banal man. The second stubborn, and somewhat banal man. The second paragraph is a paragraph of narration, serving to paragraph is a paragraph of narration, serving to describe the mans surroundings and his looks. describe the mans surroundings and his looks. In the first paragraph, all the sentences are In the first paragraph, all the sentences are loose and simple though occasionally with a loose and simple though occasionally with a short clause embedded. short clause embedded. (2) Structural complication： Spoken language features are eminent in the Spoken language features are eminent in the paragraph realized as free direct speeches and paragraph realized as free direct speeches and short sentences in general, and use of short sentences in general, and use of imperative sentences and of coordinate imperative sentences and of coordinate structures in particular. The narrative paragraph structures in particular. The narrative paragraph consists of two sentences, rather long, but consists of two sentences, rather long, but generally not very complicated. However, the generally not very complicated. However, the second sentence in the narration is periodic in second sentence in the narration is periodic in structure, containing a parenthetic attributive structure, containing a parenthetic attributive clause in the main clause. clause in the main clause. (3) Parallel structure: In the selection, parallel structures are used, for example, boys and girls; plant nothing else, and root out everything else; this is the principle on which I bring up my own children, and this is the principle on which I bring up these children; plain, bare and monotonous; and others. (4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: I, children and facts are repeatedly used; boys and girls are used to stand for children; the terms used to describe the school and the schoolmaster are semantically related, and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, monotonous, emphasize, observation, underscoring, commodious, cellarage, overshadow, etc.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 我们需要的是事实。这些男孩子和女孩子们什么都不要教，只有事实是生活所需要的。其他什么东西也不要植入，其他一切东西都必须根除。你只能将有推理能力的动物的脑海建立在事实的基础上。其他没有什么东西对他们有用。这是我抚养自己的孩子们的原则，也是我教这些孩子们的原则。坚持事实，先生！Translation 1 (continued): 场景是一所没有装饰、没有遮盖、单调的教室的穹顶，说话人的方方的食指强调了他的观察，用在每句话的下方在老师的袖子上画一条底线的方法。强调得到了说话人方额头的加强，额头以睫毛为基础，他的眼睛在两个深陷的洞里，地方很大，为他的方额遮蔽着。Comments: The translation imitates the original rigidly and consequently, some expressions are not very authentic in the Chinese sense, especially the following: 将有推理能力的动物的脑海建立在事实的基础上; 场景是一所没有装饰、没有遮盖、单调的教室的穹顶; 强调得到了说话人方额头的加强; 额头以睫毛为基础, and others.B) Translation 2: 听着，我们需要的是事实。生活需要的就是把事实教给这些男孩子和女孩子，此外，什么也不要教。任何其他东西都不要植入，任何其他东西都必须根除。你只有用事实来建构有思维能力的动物的心灵。没有任何其他东西对他们有用。这是我抚养自己孩子的原则，也是我教这些孩子的原则。坚持事实，先生！Translation 2 (continued): 场景是一所没有装饰、没有遮盖、单调的穹顶下的教室，说话人用粗壮的食指为每句话画上一条底线，画在老师的袖子上，以强调他的理念。说话人额头宽宽，像一堵墙，更增强了所强调的内容。额头下面是睫毛，眼睛深陷在两个黑眼窝里，眼窝很大，却为他的宽额所遮蔽。Comments: With improvements made concerned especially with the above-mentioned points, the present translation is more readable and authentic now. However, the parts in说话人额头宽宽，像一堵墙，更增强了所强调的内容still seem incoherent internally and externally.C) Translation 3: 听着，我们需要事实。生活需要的就是将事实教给孩子们，此外，什么都不要教。任何其他东西都不要植入，任何其他东西都必须根除。你只有用事实来充填有思维的动物的大脑。没有任何其他东西对他们有用。这是原则，我自己的孩子是这样培养的，这些孩子也要这样培养。坚持事实，先生！Translation 3 (continued): 故事发生在一个教室里，上方是穹顶，没有装饰，没有遮盖，单调乏味。说话人用粗壮的食指为每句话画一条底线，画在老师的袖子上，以强调他的理念。他额头宽宽，说话时一用劲，就变成了一堵墙，进一步强调了他的理念。额头下面是睫毛，两只眼睛深陷在黑眼窝里，眼窝很大，但宽宽额头能遮蔽了深陷的眼窝。Comments: Improvements are further made especially on the translation of the narration by chopping long clauses short and having说话时一用劲added, with related parts rearranged and retranslated accordingly. Consequently, the translation is now more readable, coherent and authentic in the Chinese sense.Original 48 There was no possibility of taking a walk that day. We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but since dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber, and a rain so penetrating, that further outdoor exercise was now out of the question.Original 48 (continued) I was glad of it; I never liked long walks, especially on chilly afternoons: dreadful to me was coming home in the raw twilight, with nipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie, the nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to Eliza, John, and Georgiana Reed. (From Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre)1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of two paragraphs, with the The selection consists of two paragraphs, with the first containing two sentences and the second containing first containing two sentences and the second containing one sentence. In the first paragraph, the first is a simple one sentence. In the first paragraph, the first is a simple sentence and the second a compound complex sentence and the second a compound complex sentence, consisting of two coordinate clauses with the sentence, consisting of two coordinate clauses with the second clause in turn containing an adverbial clause of second clause in turn containing an adverbial clause of consequence in the pattern of consequence in the pattern of sothat sothat. The single . The single sentence in the second paragraph is compound in sentence in the second paragraph is compound in structure, composed of two loosely connected coordinate structure, composed of two loosely connected coordinate clauses, the second of which is also compound in clauses, the second of which is also compound in structure, composed of two coordinate clauses; and the structure, composed of two coordinate clauses; and the part after the colon is inverted and the normal order part after the colon is inverted and the normal order would be: would be: coming home in the raw twilightcoming home in the raw twilight, ,was was dreadful to medreadful to me. .(2) Additional complication： In the first paragraph, the second sentence has indeed embedded as a parenthesis and another parenthetic structure embedded in the brackets; and in the second paragraph, the nurse is embedded as a parenthesis.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： In the first paragraph, the first is a loose sentence while the second is a periodic sentence for the embedding of the two parenthetic structures. The sentence in the second paragraph can also be regarded as periodic for the long with phrase is parenthetic in structure, which in turn contains another parenthesis.(2) Structural complication： The two sentences in the first paragraph vary The two sentences in the first paragraph vary in length with the second much longer than the in length with the second much longer than the first. In addition, the second is also structurally first. In addition, the second is also structurally much more complicated than the first as much more complicated than the first as revealed in the grammatical analysis. In the revealed in the grammatical analysis. In the second paragraph, the second coordinate clause second paragraph, the second coordinate clause is much longer and much more complicated is much longer and much more complicated structurally than the first, and the complication structurally than the first, and the complication is reinforced by the inverted sentence order. The is reinforced by the inverted sentence order. The length and the complexity of both sentences and length and the complexity of both sentences and clauses may symbolize a process developing clauses may symbolize a process developing from simplicity to complexity.from simplicity to complexity. (3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures could be found, for example, clouds so somber, and a rain so penetrating; fingers and toes, and a heart; saddened by the chidings of Bessie, the nurse, and humbled by the consciousness; and Eliza, John, and Georgian Reed. (4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; be found as follows: parallel structures are used; I I is repeatedly used, and as part of is repeatedly used, and as part of wewe; ; ElizaEliza, , JohnJohn and and GeorgianGeorgian are three children of are three children of Mrs. Mrs. ReedReed; ; cold windcold wind, , cloudsclouds and and rainrain are are semantically related; semantically related; fingersfingers, , toestoes and and heartheart are are parts of the body; parts of the body; physical inferiorityphysical inferiority is used in is used in connection with connection with humbledhumbled, and so on. , and so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, company, exercise, question, humble, consciousness, physical, inferiority, and others. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 那天没有可能散步。其实，我们在早晨已经在没有叶子的灌木丛中迈步了一个小时；自晚饭之后（没有他人陪伴的时候，莉德夫人晚饭吃得早），冬季寒冷的风带来朵朵乌云，阴沉沉的，雨下得很厉害，现在再到户外锻炼已经不可能了。 对此，我很高兴。我从来就不喜欢散长步，尤其是在寒冷的下午。令我害怕的是在令人不舒服的黄昏往家里走，手指和脚趾都冻僵了，贝茜，那个保姆的责怪让人伤心，想到我长得不如伊利莎、约翰和乔治安.莉德，就低人一等了。Comments: By following the original rigidly, we have produced a translation readable and authentic to some extent, but not in typical Chinese, especially the translation of the last part of the second paragraph where the clauses are not naturally ordered.B) Translation 2: 那天没法散步。其实，我们早晨在叶子已经那天没法散步。其实，我们早晨在叶子已经落了的灌木丛中迈步了一个小时；晚饭之后（没落了的灌木丛中迈步了一个小时；晚饭之后（没有他人陪伴的时候，莉德夫人晚饭吃得早），随有他人陪伴的时候，莉德夫人晚饭吃得早），随着冬季寒冷的风，飘来朵朵乌云，阴沉沉的，雨着冬季寒冷的风，飘来朵朵乌云，阴沉沉的，雨下得很厉害，现在不可能再到户外锻炼了。下得很厉害，现在不可能再到户外锻炼了。 对此，我很高兴。我一直不喜欢散长步，尤对此，我很高兴。我一直不喜欢散长步，尤其是在寒冷的下午。黄昏时刻，昏暗得很，手脚其是在寒冷的下午。黄昏时刻，昏暗得很，手脚都冻僵了，保姆贝茜不停地责怪令人伤心，想到都冻僵了，保姆贝茜不停地责怪令人伤心，想到我低人一等，不如伊利莎、约翰和乔治安我低人一等，不如伊利莎、约翰和乔治安. .莉德，莉德，这时往家里走令我害怕。这时往家里走令我害怕。Comments: In the present translation, improvements are In the present translation, improvements are made whenmade when那天没法散步那天没法散步is substituted for the is substituted for the previous corresponding part, and the inverted previous corresponding part, and the inverted clause is translated by following the natural clause is translated by following the natural sequence. However, there is still much to be sequence. However, there is still much to be desired. For example, the second clause in the desired. For example, the second clause in the translation is still too long and the parts intranslation is still too long and the parts in黄昏时黄昏时刻，昏暗得很，手脚都冻僵了，保姆贝茜不停地刻，昏暗得很，手脚都冻僵了，保姆贝茜不停地责怪令人伤心责怪令人伤心 and and 想到我低人一等，不如伊利莎、想到我低人一等，不如伊利莎、约翰和乔治安约翰和乔治安. .莉德，这时往家里走令我害怕莉德，这时往家里走令我害怕 are are not naturally coherent.not naturally coherent.C) Translation 3: 那天没法散步了。灌木的叶子都落了。早晨，那天没法散步了。灌木的叶子都落了。早晨，我们在灌木丛中迈步了整整一小时；没人陪她，我们在灌木丛中迈步了整整一小时；没人陪她，莉德夫人晚饭吃得早。晚饭之后，寒风阵阵，彤莉德夫人晚饭吃得早。晚饭之后，寒风阵阵，彤云密布，阴阴沉沉，雨劈劈拍拍地下，不可能再云密布，阴阴沉沉，雨劈劈拍拍地下，不可能再到户外锻炼了。到户外锻炼了。 我暗自庆幸。我一直不喜欢长时间散步，尤我暗自庆幸。我一直不喜欢长时间散步，尤其是在寒冷的下午。夜色昏暗，手脚僵硬，贝茜其是在寒冷的下午。夜色昏暗，手脚僵硬，贝茜保姆不停地唠叨，令人伤心；更何况一想到伊利保姆不停地唠叨，令人伤心；更何况一想到伊利莎、约翰和乔治安莎、约翰和乔治安. .莉德，或亭亭玉立，或相貌堂莉德，或亭亭玉立，或相貌堂堂，我就自惭弗如，这时往家里走真感到不是滋堂，我就自惭弗如，这时往家里走真感到不是滋味。味。Comments: In the present translation, long clauses are In the present translation, long clauses are cut short and four character phrases are cut short and four character phrases are frequently used, for example, frequently used, for example, 寒风阵阵寒风阵阵, , 彤云密彤云密布布, , 阴阴沉沉阴阴沉沉, , 劈劈拍拍劈劈拍拍. The translation of the . The translation of the inverted part intoinverted part into夜色昏暗夜色昏暗，手脚僵硬手脚僵硬，贝茜保姆贝茜保姆不停地唠叨，令人伤心不停地唠叨，令人伤心；更何况一想到伊利莎、更何况一想到伊利莎、约翰和乔治安约翰和乔治安. .莉德，或亭亭玉立，或相貌堂堂，莉德，或亭亭玉立，或相貌堂堂，我就自惭弗如，这时往家里走真感到不是滋味我就自惭弗如，这时往家里走真感到不是滋味, in , in particular, has brought to light what is originally particular, has brought to light what is originally implied, though irrespective of the original implied, though irrespective of the original wording and structure to some extent.wording and structure to some extent.Original 49 Mrs. Dashwood remained at Norland several months; Mrs. Dashwood remained at Norland several months; not from any disinclination to move when the sight of not from any disinclination to move when the sight of every well known spot ceased to raise the violent every well known spot ceased to raise the violent emotion which it produced for a while; for when her emotion which it produced for a while; for when her spirits began to revive, and her mind became capable of spirits began to revive, and her mind became capable of some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction by melancholy remembrances, she was impatient to be by melancholy remembrances, she was impatient to be gone and indefatigable in her inquiries for a suitable gone and indefatigable in her inquiries for a suitable dwelling in the neighborhood of Norland; for to remove dwelling in the neighborhood of Norland; for to remove far from that beloved spot was impossible. But she could far from that beloved spot was impossible. But she could hear of no situation that at once answered her notions of hear of no situation that at once answered her notions of comfort and ease, and suited the prudence of her eldest comfort and ease, and suited the prudence of her eldest daughter, whose steadier judgment rejected several daughter, whose steadier judgment rejected several houses as too large for their income, which her mother houses as too large for their income, which her mother would have approved.would have approved.(From Jane Austen, (From Jane Austen, Sense and SensibilitySense and Sensibility) )1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Paraphrase(1) Sentence structure： Of the two sentences in the selection, the first can be Of the two sentences in the selection, the first can be regarded as a complex compound sentence, composed regarded as a complex compound sentence, composed of a main clause and three coordinate structures, of of a main clause and three coordinate structures, of which the first contains an adverbial clause of time with which the first contains an adverbial clause of time with an attributive clause further embedded; the second is an attributive clause further embedded; the second is composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of time which in turn is composed of two coordinate time which in turn is composed of two coordinate clauses; and the third is simple in structure. The second clauses; and the third is simple in structure. The second is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive clause, with another two attributive an attributive clause, with another two attributive clauses further embedded, one within the other. clauses further embedded, one within the other. (2) Additional complication and Paraphrase： In terms of additional complication, in the first In terms of additional complication, in the first sentence, the three coordinate structures serve as the sentence, the three coordinate structures serve as the adverbial of the main clause. And the first sentence is adverbial of the main clause. And the first sentence is unusually long, whose backbone structure could be unusually long, whose backbone structure could be something like this: something like this: Mrs Dashwood remained at Norland Mrs Dashwood remained at Norland several months not from any, for when her spirits several months not from any, for when her spirits and for to remove far and for to remove far . . The sentence could be paraphrase as follows: The sentence could be paraphrase as follows: Mrs Mrs Dashwood remained at Norland several months not Dashwood remained at Norland several months not because she had any disinclination, when her spirits because she had any disinclination, when her spirits and to remove far and to remove far . .B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： In terms of periodicity, the two sentences are loose in structure, for they do not begin with any subordinate structure or have anything embedded as a parenthesis. (2) Structural complication： The two sentences are all structurally The two sentences are all structurally complicated in that the first sentence consists of complicated in that the first sentence consists of a main clause, a prepositional phrase, an a main clause, a prepositional phrase, an adverbial clause of reason and an elliptic adverbial clause of reason and an elliptic adverbial clause of reason, the first two of which adverbial clause of reason, the first two of which have subordinate clauses embedded. And as have subordinate clauses embedded. And as revealed in the grammatical analysis, the second revealed in the grammatical analysis, the second sentence involves multiple embeddings. In this sentence involves multiple embeddings. In this sense, we say that the two sentences are both sense, we say that the two sentences are both structurally complicated though each in its own structurally complicated though each in its own way. way. (3) Parallel structure： Parallel structures are frequently employed, for example, her spirits began to revive, and her mind became capable of some other exertion than that of heightening its affliction by melancholy remembrances; impatient to be gone and indefatigable in her inquiries; for when, for to remove; and answered her notions of comfort and ease, and suited the prudence of her eldest daughter. (4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; be found as follows: parallel structures are used; sheshe and and herher are repeatedly used to stand for are repeatedly used to stand for Mrs. DashwoodMrs. Dashwood; ; her eldest daughterher eldest daughter is used in is used in connection with connection with Mrs. DashwoodMrs. Dashwood; ; NorlandNorland is is repeated; repeated; emotionemotion, , spiritsspirits, and , and melancholy melancholy remembrancesremembrances are used in connection with are used in connection with mindmind; ; dwellingdwelling, , NorlandNorland, , neighborhoodneighborhood and and houseshouses are semantically related, and so on. are semantically related, and so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, remain, disinclination, cease, violent, emotion, produce, exertion, capable, heightening, affliction, melancholy, remembrance, impatient, indefatigable, inquiry, and others. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 达施伍德夫人在诺兰呆了好几个月。当看到达施伍德夫人在诺兰呆了好几个月。当看到每个熟悉的点不能激起激烈的感情虽然有一段时每个熟悉的点不能激起激烈的感情虽然有一段时间曾经激起过的时候，再也不想移动了。当她的间曾经激起过的时候，再也不想移动了。当她的精神开始复活，当她的大脑已经能够向别处用力，精神开始复活，当她的大脑已经能够向别处用力，而不是以忧郁的记忆来关注它的痛苦，她对搬走而不是以忧郁的记忆来关注它的痛苦，她对搬走不耐烦了，不再不断地询问在诺兰附近有什么合不耐烦了，不再不断地询问在诺兰附近有什么合适的地方可以居住了。因为从亲爱的地点搬到远适的地方可以居住了。因为从亲爱的地点搬到远处是不可能的。她听到没有什么情况，这种情况处是不可能的。她听到没有什么情况，这种情况曾经回答了她对舒服和安逸的看法，适合了她大曾经回答了她对舒服和安逸的看法，适合了她大女儿周详的考虑。她的更坚毅的判断曾经几次拒女儿周详的考虑。她的更坚毅的判断曾经几次拒绝了大到住不起的房子，对此，她的母亲差一点绝了大到住不起的房子，对此，她的母亲差一点同意了。同意了。Comments: This is basically a word-for-word translation This is basically a word-for-word translation though with some fine readjustments made all though with some fine readjustments made all over the translation. Consequently, some ideas over the translation. Consequently, some ideas are not made sufficiently explicit. For example, are not made sufficiently explicit. For example, why should Mrs. Dashwood remained at Norland why should Mrs. Dashwood remained at Norland several months? In the original, the idea is several months? In the original, the idea is explicitly expressed, but in the translation we explicitly expressed, but in the translation we cannot find anything explicit for it. In addition, cannot find anything explicit for it. In addition, the following expressions are blunt in Chinese the following expressions are blunt in Chinese sense: sense: 她的精神开始复活她的精神开始复活; ; 她的大脑已经能够向她的大脑已经能够向别处用力别处用力; ; 以忧郁的记忆来关注它的痛苦以忧郁的记忆来关注它的痛苦; ; 亲爱的亲爱的地点地点; ; 更坚毅的判断更坚毅的判断, and others., and others.B) Translation 2: 达施伍德夫人在诺兰一连住了好几个月。曾达施伍德夫人在诺兰一连住了好几个月。曾经有一段时间，一看到那熟悉的地点，就会激起经有一段时间，一看到那熟悉的地点，就会激起激烈的情感，现在一切都已经过去了，此时她再激烈的情感，现在一切都已经过去了，此时她再也不想搬房子了。当她的精神开始恢复，当她的也不想搬房子了。当她的精神开始恢复，当她的大脑能够关注别的东西，不再集中于忧郁而痛苦大脑能够关注别的东西，不再集中于忧郁而痛苦的回忆时，她懒得搬走了，不再不断地打听在诺的回忆时，她懒得搬走了，不再不断地打听在诺兰附近可找到合适的居所了。因为不可能从熟知兰附近可找到合适的居所了。因为不可能从熟知的地点搬到生疏的远处。她听到没有什么环境符的地点搬到生疏的远处。她听到没有什么环境符合她对舒服和安逸的看法，适合她大女儿周详的合她对舒服和安逸的看法，适合她大女儿周详的考虑。她大女儿的更坚毅的判断曾经几次拒绝了考虑。她大女儿的更坚毅的判断曾经几次拒绝了搬到大到住不起的房子里，她的母亲差一点同意搬到大到住不起的房子里，她的母亲差一点同意搬到那样的房子里。搬到那样的房子里。Comments: In view of Chinese expressions, the In view of Chinese expressions, the translation has become more coherent except translation has become more coherent except for perhaps the following points. First, the idea for perhaps the following points. First, the idea discussed in the above comments remains discussed in the above comments remains insufficiently explicitly expressed; second, insufficiently explicitly expressed; second, 更坚更坚毅的判断毅的判断remains intact; the last two sentences remains intact; the last two sentences on the whole, that is, on the whole, that is, 她听到没有什么环境符合她听到没有什么环境符合她对舒服和安逸的看法，适合她大女儿周详的考她对舒服和安逸的看法，适合她大女儿周详的考虑虑。她大女儿的更坚毅的判断曾经几次拒绝了搬她大女儿的更坚毅的判断曾经几次拒绝了搬到大到住不起的房子里，她的母亲差一点同意搬到大到住不起的房子里，她的母亲差一点同意搬到那样的房子里到那样的房子里, could be rendered in a more , could be rendered in a more authentic manner.authentic manner.C) Translation 3: 达施伍德夫人在诺兰一连住了好几个月，并达施伍德夫人在诺兰一连住了好几个月，并不是未曾想过搬到别的地方去。曾经有一段时间，不是未曾想过搬到别的地方去。曾经有一段时间，一看到那些耳濡目染的东西，心里就非常难受，一看到那些耳濡目染的东西，心里就非常难受，如今一切都过去了，再也不想搬到别的房子里了。如今一切都过去了，再也不想搬到别的房子里了。她的精神开始恢复了，大脑也能够关注别的东西她的精神开始恢复了，大脑也能够关注别的东西了，不再专注于忧郁的痛苦回忆了，她懒得搬走了，不再专注于忧郁的痛苦回忆了，她懒得搬走了，也不再不断地打听在诺兰附近可能找到合适了，也不再不断地打听在诺兰附近可能找到合适的居所了，不可能从熟知的地点搬到人地生疏的的居所了，不可能从熟知的地点搬到人地生疏的远处了。她听到没有什么地方，对她来说是舒服远处了。她听到没有什么地方，对她来说是舒服安逸的；没有什么地方适合她大女儿周详的考虑。安逸的；没有什么地方适合她大女儿周详的考虑。她大女儿几次拒绝搬迁，她更坚毅地认为，他们她大女儿几次拒绝搬迁，她更坚毅地认为，他们无力搬到大住所，虽然母亲曾经有此打算。无力搬到大住所，虽然母亲曾经有此打算。Comments: In the present translation, the idea discussed above is explicitly expressed when并不是未曾想过搬到别的地方去is inserted, clauses in the second sentence are rearranged, and expressions in the last two sentences are renewed. Consequently, the translation on the whole sounds more readable, coherent and authentic, though occasionally somewhat irrespective of the original.Original 50 Poor Joes panic lasted for two or three days; during Poor Joes panic lasted for two or three days; during which he did not visit the house, nor during that period which he did not visit the house, nor during that period did Miss Rebecca ever mention his name. She was all did Miss Rebecca ever mention his name. She was all respectful gratitude to Mrs. Sedley; delighted beyond respectful gratitude to Mrs. Sedley; delighted beyond measure at the Bazaars; and in the whirl of wonder at measure at the Bazaars; and in the whirl of wonder at the theater, whither the good-natured lady took her. One the theater, whither the good-natured lady took her. One day, Amelia had a headache, and could not go upon day, Amelia had a headache, and could not go upon some party of pleasure to which the two young people some party of pleasure to which the two young people were invited: nothing could induce her friend to go were invited: nothing could induce her friend to go without her. “What! You who have shown the poor without her. “What! You who have shown the poor orphan what happiness and love are for the first time in orphan what happiness and love are for the first time in her life quit her life quit youyou! Never!” ! Never!” (From William Makepeace Thackeray, (From William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity FairVanity Fair) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of three sentences and a The selection consists of three sentences and a quotation. Of the three sentences, the first can be quotation. Of the three sentences, the first can be regarded as a complex compound sentence, composed regarded as a complex compound sentence, composed of a main clause and two coordinate attributive clauses; of a main clause and two coordinate attributive clauses; the second can be regarded as a complex sentence, the second can be regarded as a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and a further embedded composed of a main clause and a further embedded adverbial clause of concession; the third could be adverbial clause of concession; the third could be regarded as a compound complex sentence, composed regarded as a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, the first of which has an of two coordinate clauses, the first of which has an attributive clause embedded; and the quotation consists attributive clause embedded; and the quotation consists of three interjectory sentences, the second of which has of three interjectory sentences, the second of which has an attributive clause embedded with an object clause an attributive clause embedded with an object clause further embedded.further embedded.(2) Additional complication： The third sentence begins with a nominal phrase, and the last imperative sentence in the quotation consists of a single adverb. Actually, the first sentence could be rearranged like this: Poor Joes panic lasted for two or three days, during which he did not visit the house nor did Miss Rebecca ever mention his name.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： Of the three sentences, the third can be regarded as periodic in structure while the others, including those in the quotation, are loose in structure.(2) Structural complication： The three sentences are structurally complicated to some extent and the second sentence in the quotation is also somewhat complicated in structure.(3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures can be found, for example, two or three; during which he did not visit the house, nor during that period did Miss Rebecca ever mention his name; beyond measure at the Bazaars; and in the whirl of wonder at the theater; had a headache, and could not go upon; and happiness and love.(4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; he is used to refer to Joe; she is repeatedly used to refer to Miss Rebecca; headache is used in connection with Amelia, and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, period, mention, respectful, gratitude, delighted, measure, theatre, pleasure, and others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 可怜的乔的惊恐持续了两三天。在此期间他没有参观房子，在此期间婼贝卡小姐也没有提起他的名字。她对瑟德莉夫人既尊敬又感激。对东方商业街她欣喜若狂，对剧院她奇想联翩，只要那位脾气好的夫人带她去。有一天，爱米丽头痛，不能到某娱乐舞会上去，这两个年轻人都收到了邀请。没有任何东西诱导她的朋友到那儿去而没有她一道。“什么？你向那个孤儿在她的生命中第一次揭示了什么是幸福和爱，你去你的！永远不！”Comments: By taking clause as a basic translation unit, we have produced a translation without any problem with individual clauses, but there are some problems with textual coherence. For example, 只要那位脾气好的夫人带她去and这两个年轻人都收到了邀请should be fronted in accordance with Chinese norms.B) Translation 2: 可怜的乔惊恐害怕了两三天。在此期间他没可怜的乔惊恐害怕了两三天。在此期间他没有看过房子，在此期间婼贝卡小姐也没提起他的有看过房子，在此期间婼贝卡小姐也没提起他的名字。对瑟德莉夫人，她既尊敬又感激。只要那名字。对瑟德莉夫人，她既尊敬又感激。只要那位脾气好的夫人带她去，她就对东方商业街欣喜位脾气好的夫人带她去，她就对东方商业街欣喜若狂，对剧院奇想联翩。有一天，两个青年都收若狂，对剧院奇想联翩。有一天，两个青年都收到了某娱乐晚会的邀请，而爱米丽头痛，不能去。到了某娱乐晚会的邀请，而爱米丽头痛，不能去。没有任何东西诱使她的朋友独自一人去了。没有任何东西诱使她的朋友独自一人去了。“ “什什么？你在她的生命中第一次向那个孤儿揭示了什么？你在她的生命中第一次向那个孤儿揭示了什么是幸福和爱，么是幸福和爱，你你去你的！永远不！去你的！永远不！” ”Comments: In the present translation, all the above-mentioned weak points are eliminated, and together with those unmentioned. However, in terms of Chinese norms, there is still a large room for improvement, for example, 两个青年都收到了某娱乐晚会的邀请，而爱米丽头痛，不能去 could be reorganized into 他们俩都收到了一家娱乐晚会的邀请，但爱米丽头痛去不成; 没有任何东西诱使她的朋友独自一人去了could be reworded as 一个人去，真是求之不得, and so on.C) Translation 3: 可怜的乔惊恐了两三天。在此期间他没有进过房门，婼贝卡小姐也没提起过他的名字。对瑟德莉夫人，她既尊敬又感激。夫人性情善良，只要夫人带她到东方商业街去，她就欣喜若狂；带她到剧院去，她就奇想联翩。有一天，他们俩都收到了一个舞会的邀请，可爱米丽头痛去不成。她去不成，真是求之不得。“什么？在她的生命中你第一次向那个孤儿讲解了幸福和爱，你去你的！永远不要这样做！”Comments: In the present translation, the repeated In the present translation, the repeated 在此在此期间期间is deleted; the new rendering of the is deleted; the new rendering of the previous parts into previous parts into 带她到东方商业街去，她就欣带她到东方商业街去，她就欣喜若狂喜若狂；带她到剧院去，她就奇想连翩带她到剧院去，她就奇想连翩 has has produced parallel structures; produced parallel structures; 她去不成她去不成，真是求真是求之不得之不得is now employed to substitute for the is now employed to substitute for the previous part, and so on. Consequently, the previous part, and so on. Consequently, the present translation sounds more readable, present translation sounds more readable, coherent and authentic, though occasionally coherent and authentic, though occasionally somewhat irrespective of the original.somewhat irrespective of the original.Exercises46-50Exercise 46: The village of Marlott lay amid the north-eastern The village of Marlott lay amid the north-eastern undulations of the beautiful Vale of Blakemore or undulations of the beautiful Vale of Blakemore or Blackmoor aforesaid, an engirdled and secluded region, Blackmoor aforesaid, an engirdled and secluded region, for the most part untrodden as yet by tourist or for the most part untrodden as yet by tourist or landscape-painter, though within a four hours journey landscape-painter, though within a four hours journey from London. from London. It is a vale whose acquaintance is best made by It is a vale whose acquaintance is best made by viewing it from the summits of the hills that surround it viewing it from the summits of the hills that surround it except perhaps during the droughts of summer. An except perhaps during the droughts of summer. An unguided ramble into its recesses in bad weather is apt unguided ramble into its recesses in bad weather is apt to engender dissatisfaction with its narrow, tortuous, and to engender dissatisfaction with its narrow, tortuous, and miry ways.miry ways.(From Thomas Hardy, (From Thomas Hardy, Tess of the dUrbervillesTess of the dUrbervilles) )Exercise 47 Thomas Gradgrind, sir. A man of realities. A man of Thomas Gradgrind, sir. A man of realities. A man of facts and calculations. A man who proceeds upon the facts and calculations. A man who proceeds upon the principle that two and two are four, and nothing over, principle that two and two are four, and nothing over, and who is not to be talked into allowing for anything and who is not to be talked into allowing for anything over. Thomas Gradgrind, sir peremptorily Thomas over. Thomas Gradgrind, sir peremptorily Thomas Thomas Gradgrind. With a rule and a pair of scales, and Thomas Gradgrind. With a rule and a pair of scales, and the multiplication table always in his pocket, sir, ready to the multiplication table always in his pocket, sir, ready to weigh and measure any parcel of human nature, and tell weigh and measure any parcel of human nature, and tell you exactly what it comes to. It is a mere question of you exactly what it comes to. It is a mere question of figures, a case of simple arithmetic. You might hope to figures, a case of simple arithmetic. You might hope to get some other nonsensical belief into the head of get some other nonsensical belief into the head of George Gradgrind, or Augustus Gradgrind, or John George Gradgrind, or Augustus Gradgrind, or John Gradgrind, or Joseph Gradgrind (all suppositions, non-Gradgrind, or Joseph Gradgrind (all suppositions, non-existent persons), but into the head of Thomas existent persons), but into the head of Thomas Gradgrind no, sir!Gradgrind no, sir!(From Charles Dickens, (From Charles Dickens, Hard TimesHard Times) )Exercise 48 The said Eliza, John and The said Eliza, John and GeorgianaGeorgiana were now were now clustered round their mamma in the drawing-room: she clustered round their mamma in the drawing-room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with her lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with her darlings about her (for the time neither quarreling nor darlings about her (for the time neither quarreling nor crying) looked perfectly happy. Me, she had dispensed crying) looked perfectly happy. Me, she had dispensed from joining the group, saying, “She regretted to be from joining the group, saying, “She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a distance; but under the necessity of keeping me at a distance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her own observation that I was endeavoring in good her own observation that I was endeavoring in good earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly manner disposition, a more attractive and sprightly manner something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were she something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were she really must exclude me from privileges intended only for really must exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy little children.”contented, happy little children.” (From Charlotte Bronte, (From Charlotte Bronte, Jane EyreJane Eyre) )Exercise 49: Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast room Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast room and led the way out. In the interview which followed and led the way out. In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume, from after between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume, from after occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my being sent to school; and the recommend my being sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough adopted; recommendation was no doubt readily enough adopted; for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie, for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie, when both sat sewing in the nursery on night after I was when both sat sewing in the nursery on night after I was in bed, and as they thought, asleep, “Missis was, she in bed, and as they thought, asleep, “Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome ill-dared say, glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome ill-conditioned child, who always looked as if she were conditioned child, who always looked as if she were watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand.” watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand.” Abbot, I think, gave me credit for being a sort of Abbot, I think, gave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.infantine Guy Fawkes. (From Charlotte Bronte, (From Charlotte Bronte, Jane EyreJane Eyre) )Exercise 50: Wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human Wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it! Something of the a secret to the heart nearest it! Something of the awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable to this. No awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable to this. No more can I turn the leaves of this dear book that I loved, more can I turn the leaves of this dear book that I loved, and vainly hope in time to read it all. No more can I look and vainly hope in time to read it all. No more can I look into the depths of this unfathomable water, wherein, as into the depths of this unfathomable water, wherein, as momentary lights glanced into it, I have had glimpses of momentary lights glanced into it, I have had glimpses of buried treasure and other things submerged.buried treasure and other things submerged.(From Charles Dickens, (From Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two CitiesA Tale of Two Cities) )第三节 美国小说汉译（1）51-55Original 51 In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that Ive been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world havent had the advantages that youve had.”Original 51 (continued) He didnt say any more, but weve always been He didnt say any more, but weve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence, Im inclined to reserve all judgments, a In consequence, Im inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret being a politician, because I was privy to the secret grieves of wild, unknown men.grieves of wild, unknown men.(From F. Scott Fitzgerald, (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great GatsbyThe Great Gatsby) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of three paragraphs, of The selection consists of three paragraphs, of which the first paragraph consists of a single which the first paragraph consists of a single sentence, which is complex in structure, sentence, which is complex in structure, consisting of a main clause and a nominal clause consisting of a main clause and a nominal clause appositive to appositive to some advicesome advice. The second . The second paragraph is composed of a quotation together paragraph is composed of a quotation together with the reporting clause. The quotation is a with the reporting clause. The quotation is a sentence, complex in structure, consisting of an sentence, complex in structure, consisting of an adverbial clause of concession and an imperative adverbial clause of concession and an imperative main clause, which contains an object clause main clause, which contains an object clause with an attributive clause further embedded. with an attributive clause further embedded. Sentence structure (continued)： The last paragraph consists of three sentences, of The last paragraph consists of three sentences, of which the first is a compound sentence, consisting of which the first is a compound sentence, consisting of two coordinate clauses, of which the first is again two coordinate clauses, of which the first is again compound in structure, composed of two coordinate compound in structure, composed of two coordinate clauses and the second has an object clause embedded. clauses and the second has an object clause embedded. The second can be regarded as a complex sentence The second can be regarded as a complex sentence consisting of a main clause and an attributive clause consisting of a main clause and an attributive clause embedded in the nominal phrase embedded in the nominal phrase a habit that a habit that . The . The last is a compound complex sentence, consisting of two last is a compound complex sentence, consisting of two coordinate clauses, the first of which consists of a main coordinate clauses, the first of which consists of a main clause and an adverbial clause of time, and the second clause and an adverbial clause of time, and the second of which consists of a main clause and an adverbial of which consists of a main clause and an adverbial clause of reason. clause of reason. (2) Additional complication： The sentence in the first paragraph begins with a The sentence in the first paragraph begins with a prepositional phrase and the sentence in the quotation prepositional phrase and the sentence in the quotation begins with an adverbial clause. In the last paragraph, begins with an adverbial clause. In the last paragraph, the second sentence begins with a prepositional phrase the second sentence begins with a prepositional phrase and the nominal phrase and the nominal phrase a habita habit together with the together with the embedded attributive clause is in apposition to what has embedded attributive clause is in apposition to what has gone before; and in the last sentence, that is, in gone before; and in the last sentence, that is, in so it so it came about that in college I was unjustly accused of came about that in college I was unjustly accused of being a politicianbeing a politician, , it it serves as the formal subject while serves as the formal subject while the clause serves as the real subject.the clause serves as the real subject.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Overall stylistic features(2) Periodicity(3) Structural complication(4) Parallel structure(5) Cohesive device(6) Structural and lexical formality(1) Overall stylistic features : It is a piece of first person narration, in which, It is a piece of first person narration, in which, however, the first person is not necessarily equal to the however, the first person is not necessarily equal to the author in the world of reality. This piece of writing is author in the world of reality. This piece of writing is ironic in tone as is clearly demonstrated by the passage ironic in tone as is clearly demonstrated by the passage Im inclined to reservebecause I was privy to the secret Im inclined to reservebecause I was privy to the secret grieves of wild, unknown mengrieves of wild, unknown men. The narrator conveys his . The narrator conveys his idea not in a straightforward way but in a roundabout idea not in a straightforward way but in a roundabout way, from what his father had told him to the formation way, from what his father had told him to the formation of his habit and then to his becoming the victim of that of his habit and then to his becoming the victim of that habit, and so on.habit, and so on.(2) Periodicity: Of the five sentences, except for the first Of the five sentences, except for the first sentence in the last paragraph, all the other four sentence in the last paragraph, all the other four are periodic sentences, for the reason that the are periodic sentences, for the reason that the first sentence in the first paragraph begins with first sentence in the first paragraph begins with a prepositional phrase; the sentence in the a prepositional phrase; the sentence in the quotation begins with an adverbial clause; the quotation begins with an adverbial clause; the second sentence in the last paragraph begins second sentence in the last paragraph begins with a prepositional phrase and the last with a prepositional phrase and the last sentence in the paragraph has a formal subject sentence in the paragraph has a formal subject to substitute for the real subject.to substitute for the real subject.(3) Structural complication： Of all the five sentences, the first, the sentence in the quotation and the fourth are complex in structure, each containing a main clause and a subordinate clause; the third is a compound sentence while the fifth is a compound complex sentence. In this sense, all the five sentences are structurally complicated to some extent.(4) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures are frequently used, for example, younger and more vulnerable; has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores; detect and attach; and wild and unknown. (5) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; I and my are repeatedly used; vulnerable is used as semantic repetition of younger; reserve is used as a partial repetition of reserved; he is used to refer back to my father, and so on. (6) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, vulnerable, criticizing, remember, advantage, unusually, communicative, reserve, understand, consequence, incline, and many others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 在我还比较年轻更容易受到攻击的岁月里，我父亲给了我一些忠告，这些忠告自那以来一直在我的脑海里翻腾。 “无论什么时候你想要批评哪个人，”他告诉我说，“要记住在这个世界上所有的人都没有你所具有的优点。”Translation 1 (continued): 他没有说更多的，但我们一直用保守的形式不同平常地交际着，我理解他的意思比那要多得多。结果，我倾向于保留一切判断，这是一种习惯，它为我打开了许许多多好奇的本性，也使我成了许许多多老道的令人讨厌的人的牺牲品。非正常的头脑很快就会发现这种品质，并对之锲而不舍，当它出现在正常人身上的时候。因此，这种事发生了，在大学里，我被人们不公正地指摘为政客，因为我对那些野蛮的、鲜为人知的人们的秘密的苦楚感兴趣。Comments: The present translation is only superficially executed, both lexically and structurally. For example, the expressions such as 更容易受到攻击的岁月里in the first sentence; 不同平常地交际着and我理解他的意思比那要多得多in the third; 我倾向于保留一切判断in the fourth; 打开了许许多多好奇的本性in the fifth; and others, are not as authentic as any Chinese would expect. In addition, 当它出现在正常人身上的时候, normally, should be fronted.B) Translation 2: 在我还比较年轻、不懂得如何保护自己的岁月里，父亲给过我一些忠告，这些忠告打那以来一直在我的脑海里翻腾。 “当你想要批评某个人的时候，”他对我说，“始终要记住在这个世界上所有的人都没有你所具有的优点。”Translation 2 (continued): 他没有说更多的，但我们一直有保留地攀谈着，谈得很频繁。我懂得，他那话的意思要比字面上的多得多。结果，我倾向于保留一切看法，成了习惯。这种习惯，使我看到了我具有好多好奇的本性，也使我成了许多老道的闲言碎语的牺牲品。非正常的想法，一旦出现在正常人的身上，很快就会发现这种品质，并对之锲而不舍。于是，发生了这种事，在大学里，我被人们不公正地指摘为政客，因为我想探知那些野蛮的、鲜为人知的人们的秘密的悲伤。Comments: The present translation has got rid of all the weak points discussed in the previous comments. However, first, if we believe that in translating any literary work, the product should also be literary, against the literary norms of the recipient culture. Second, if the language is authentic against the standards of the recipient language, so much the better. Then the above translation could be improved throughout.C) Translation 3: 当我还比较年轻、不谙世故的时候，父亲曾提醒过我，他的话一直在我的脑海里翻腾。 “当你想批评别人的时候，”他对我说，“始终要牢记，你的强项必须是世人所望尘莫及的。” Translation 3 (continued): 他没有告知所以。我们经常一起交谈，虽然总是意犹未尽。我深知，他那话意味深长。受其影响，我有什么想法，总喜欢欲言又止，习以为常了。习惯养成之后，我发现自己很有好奇心，也成了许多老道的闲言碎语的攻击对象。奇怪的想法，一旦出现在正常人的脑海里，就会产生好奇，而且挥之不去。于是就有了这种事。在大学里，我被人误认为是政客，因为我想探知那些野蛮的、鲜为人知的人们的深埋心底的凄苦。Comments: The present translation looks like a piece of rewriting, but if we go deep into the original, we will find that every bit of the original idea could be identified in the translation, though their superficial equivalents could no longer be located. In other words, every word, every phrase, every clause, every sentence, and consequently the translation as a whole, sound like typical Chinese writing.Original 52 About half way between West Egg and New York the About half way between West Egg and New York the motor road hastily joins the railroad and runs beside it motor road hastily joins the railroad and runs beside it for a quarter of a mile, so as to shrink away from a for a quarter of a mile, so as to shrink away from a certain desolate area of land. This is a valley of ashes certain desolate area of land. This is a valley of ashes a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat into ridges a fantastic farm where ashes grow like wheat into ridges and hills and grotesque gardens; where ashes take the and hills and grotesque gardens; where ashes take the forms of houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, forms of houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, finally, with a transcendent effort, of ash-gray men who finally, with a transcendent effort, of ash-gray men who move dimly and already crumbling through the powdery move dimly and already crumbling through the powdery air. Occasionally a line of gray cars crawls along an air. Occasionally a line of gray cars crawls along an invisible track, gives out a ghastly creak, and comes to invisible track, gives out a ghastly creak, and comes to rest, and immediately the ash-gray men swarm up with rest, and immediately the ash-gray men swarm up with leaden spades and stir up an impenetrable cloud, which leaden spades and stir up an impenetrable cloud, which screens their obscure operations from your sight.screens their obscure operations from your sight. (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great GatsbyThe Great Gatsby) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of three sentences, of The selection consists of three sentences, of which the first is actually a simple sentence; the which the first is actually a simple sentence; the second can be regarded as a complex sentence, second can be regarded as a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and two coordinate composed of a main clause and two coordinate attributive clauses embedded in the nominal attributive clauses embedded in the nominal phrase phrase a fantastic farma fantastic farm, and in the second , and in the second adverbial clause, there is an attributive clause adverbial clause, there is an attributive clause further embedded; and the last is a compound further embedded; and the last is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, the second of which has an attributive clauses, the second of which has an attributive clause further embedded.clause further embedded.(2) Additional complication： The first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase, and the infinitive phrase so as to shrink away from can be interpreted as a device to express a result with the meaning of consequently, it shrinks away from . In the second sentence, the noun phrase after the dash together with the attributive clauses is in apposition to what has gone before. In the last sentence, the two coordinate clauses each begin with an adverb.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Overall stylistic features(2) Periodicity(3) Structural complication(4) Parallel structure(5) Cohesive device(6) Structural and lexical formality(1) Overall stylistic features: In addition, the ironic tone here is more In addition, the ironic tone here is more apparent in the description of the valley, the apparent in the description of the valley, the dust smoke in various forms, the movement and dust smoke in various forms, the movement and the stopping manner of the cars, the movement the stopping manner of the cars, the movement and the working manners of the workers, etc. In and the working manners of the workers, etc. In understanding the passage, the reader is in bad understanding the passage, the reader is in bad need of life experience and imagination. need of life experience and imagination. Whoever reads the text literally, every bit of the Whoever reads the text literally, every bit of the text will present great difficulty.text will present great difficulty.(2) Periodicity： The first is a periodic sentence, beginning with a prepositional phrase; the second is also periodic if the part after the dash is regarded as a parenthetic structure; and the third sentence is periodic in that each of the coordinate clauses begins with an adverb. (3) Structural complication： The three sentences are all structurally complicated to some extent.(4) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures are In the selection, parallel structures are frequently used, for example, frequently used, for example, West EggWest Egg and and New New YorkYork; ; joins the railroadjoins the railroad and and runs beside itruns beside it; ; a a valley of ashes valley of ashes a fantastic farm a fantastic farm; ; where ashes where ashes grow likegrow like, , where ashes take the form ofwhere ashes take the form of; ; houses and chimneys and rising smokehouses and chimneys and rising smoke; ; of of houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, houses and chimneys and rising smoke and, finally, with a transcendent effort, of ash-gray finally, with a transcendent effort, of ash-gray menmen; ; crawls along an invisible trackcrawls along an invisible track, , gives out gives out a ghastly creaka ghastly creak, and , and comes to restcomes to rest; and ; and swarm swarm up with leaden spadesup with leaden spades and and stir up an stir up an impenetrable cloud. impenetrable cloud. (5) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallele structures are be found as follows: parallele structures are frequently used; frequently used; landland, , ridgesridges, , hillshills, , gardensgardens and and farmfarm are semantically related; are semantically related; roadroad is used is used in contrast with in contrast with railroadrailroad; ; houseshouses, , chimneyschimneys and and rising smokerising smoke are semantically related; are semantically related; creakcreak, , come to restcome to rest and and carscars are also semantically are also semantically related; related; ashesashes and and ash-grayash-gray are repeated; are repeated; graygray is used as a partial repetition of is used as a partial repetition of ash-grayash-gray; and ; and so on. so on. (6) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free froom colloquial structures. complete and free froom colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, example, quarterquarter, , certaincertain, , desolatedesolate, , fantasticfantastic, , grotesquegrotesque, , transcendent transcendent, , occasionallyoccasionally, , invisibleinvisible, , immediatelyimmediately and so on. and so on. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 大约在西艾戈和纽约之间的半路上，汽车道大约在西艾戈和纽约之间的半路上，汽车道靠近了火车道，在火车道的旁边延伸了四分之一靠近了火车道，在火车道的旁边延伸了四分之一英里，结果从某个被抛弃的区域收缩得看不见了。英里，结果从某个被抛弃的区域收缩得看不见了。这是一个灰烬峡谷这是一个灰烬峡谷一个令人惊喜的农场，那一个令人惊喜的农场，那儿灰烬像小麦一样长进了山脊、山包和人景交融儿灰烬像小麦一样长进了山脊、山包和人景交融的花园；那儿灰烬成了房屋、烟囱、升起的烟，的花园；那儿灰烬成了房屋、烟囱、升起的烟，最终，以超凡的努力，形成了灰蒙蒙的人。这些最终，以超凡的努力，形成了灰蒙蒙的人。这些人朦胧地移动着，已经在分崩离析以便穿过粉尘人朦胧地移动着，已经在分崩离析以便穿过粉尘状的空气。偶尔灰色的小汽车形成一条线沿着看状的空气。偶尔灰色的小汽车形成一条线沿着看不见的路基爬行着，怪叫了一声，停了下来。很不见的路基爬行着，怪叫了一声，停了下来。很快，一群灰蒙蒙的人菌集在一起，带着沉重的铁快，一群灰蒙蒙的人菌集在一起，带着沉重的铁锹，掀起一股这边看不到那边的烟云，这股烟云锹，掀起一股这边看不到那边的烟云，这股烟云屏遮了你的眼睛，看不见那些模糊的行动。屏遮了你的眼睛，看不见那些模糊的行动。Comments: People often say that literary translation is People often say that literary translation is more difficult than others. From the above more difficult than others. From the above translation, we have to confirm that there is translation, we have to confirm that there is some truth in it. In translating any literary work, some truth in it. In translating any literary work, we usually do not encounter as much structural we usually do not encounter as much structural difficulty as we can in translating a speech at or difficulty as we can in translating a speech at or a piece of writing about an international a piece of writing about an international conference, nor as much as we can in conference, nor as much as we can in translating an inauguration. However, the words, translating an inauguration. However, the words, phrases, clauses, sentences or the wording phrases, clauses, sentences or the wording should be reorganized in accordance with the should be reorganized in accordance with the norms of the recipient genre and language, and norms of the recipient genre and language, and the culture behind them. Otherwise, the the culture behind them. Otherwise, the translation would sound exotic, if still readable.translation would sound exotic, if still readable.B) Translation 2: 在西艾戈和纽约之间，汽车道挨近了火车道，在西艾戈和纽约之间，汽车道挨近了火车道，向前延伸了四分之一英里，就收缩到某个被抛弃向前延伸了四分之一英里，就收缩到某个被抛弃的区域了。这是一个灰烬峡谷的区域了。这是一个灰烬峡谷一个令人惊喜一个令人惊喜的农场，那儿灰烬像小麦一样长进了山脊、小山的农场，那儿灰烬像小麦一样长进了山脊、小山与人和植物和谐相处的园林；那儿灰烬变成了房与人和植物和谐相处的园林；那儿灰烬变成了房屋、烟囱、升起的炊烟，最终，以超凡之力，变屋、烟囱、升起的炊烟，最终，以超凡之力，变成了灰蒙蒙的人。这些人朦胧地移动着，正在分成了灰蒙蒙的人。这些人朦胧地移动着，正在分解以便穿过粉尘状的空气。偶尔灰色的小汽车一解以便穿过粉尘状的空气。偶尔灰色的小汽车一辆接一辆沿着看不见的路基爬行，怪叫了一声，辆接一辆沿着看不见的路基爬行，怪叫了一声，停了下来。很快，一群灰蒙蒙的人聚集到一起，停了下来。很快，一群灰蒙蒙的人聚集到一起，带着沉重的铁锹，掀起一股这边看不到那边的烟带着沉重的铁锹，掀起一股这边看不到那边的烟云，这股烟云屏遮了你的眼睛，看不见那些模糊云，这股烟云屏遮了你的眼睛，看不见那些模糊的行动。的行动。Comments: By following the original closely, though not as closely as we did in the previous translation, we have produced a better version. However, it does not sound typically literary or authentic in the Chinese sense.C) Translation 3: 从西艾戈到纽约，汽车道紧挨着火车道，并从西艾戈到纽约，汽车道紧挨着火车道，并行四分之一英里，便钻进了一个被遗弃的区域，行四分之一英里，便钻进了一个被遗弃的区域，一个灰烬之谷，一片原本令人流连忘返的农村。一个灰烬之谷，一片原本令人流连忘返的农村。可现在灰烬像小麦一样长进了山脊，长进了小山，可现在灰烬像小麦一样长进了山脊，长进了小山，长进了人面桃花的园林；那儿尘土飞扬，腾空而长进了人面桃花的园林；那儿尘土飞扬，腾空而起，像田舍，似烟囱，有如袅袅炊烟，最终，以起，像田舍，似烟囱，有如袅袅炊烟，最终，以超凡脱俗之力，变成尘雕灰塑的人。这些灰人在超凡脱俗之力，变成尘雕灰塑的人。这些灰人在朦胧中蹒跚了一会，便肢解体裂，以便穿越布满朦胧中蹒跚了一会，便肢解体裂，以便穿越布满粉尘的天空。偶尔，灰色的小汽车一辆接一辆爬粉尘的天空。偶尔，灰色的小汽车一辆接一辆爬行，只见车辆不见路基，突然哀叫一声，停了下行，只见车辆不见路基，突然哀叫一声，停了下来。很快，一群灰蒙蒙的人，扛着沉重的铁锹，来。很快，一群灰蒙蒙的人，扛着沉重的铁锹，聚拢过来，掀起一股厚厚的烟云，遮住视线，看聚拢过来，掀起一股厚厚的烟云，遮住视线，看不清他们在做什么。不清他们在做什么。Comments: The present translation serves to express The present translation serves to express what the original author wants to say, though in what the original author wants to say, though in some places, irrespective of the original some places, irrespective of the original structure and wording. To the Chinese ear, structure and wording. To the Chinese ear, however, it sounds literary and authentic to a however, it sounds literary and authentic to a greater extent than the previous translations. By greater extent than the previous translations. By the way, we are not actually in favor of deviation the way, we are not actually in favor of deviation from the original completely, but by deviating from the original completely, but by deviating from the original to some extent, we can reveal from the original to some extent, we can reveal to our students the fact that translation with to our students the fact that translation with some deviation is not only acceptable but also some deviation is not only acceptable but also necessary, though compulsory.necessary, though compulsory.Original 53 But here is an artist. He desires to paint you the But here is an artist. He desires to paint you the dreamiest, shadiest, quietest, most enchanting bit of dreamiest, shadiest, quietest, most enchanting bit of romantic landscape in all the valley of the Saco. What is romantic landscape in all the valley of the Saco. What is the chief element he employs? There stand his trees, the chief element he employs? There stand his trees, each with a hollow trunk, as if a hermit and a crucifix each with a hollow trunk, as if a hermit and a crucifix were within; and here sleeps his meadow, and there were within; and here sleeps his meadow, and there sleep his cattle; and up from yonder cottage goes a sleep his cattle; and up from yonder cottage goes a sleepy smoke. Deep into distant woodlands winds a sleepy smoke. Deep into distant woodlands winds a mazy way, reaching to overlapping spurs of mountains mazy way, reaching to overlapping spurs of mountains bathed in their hillside blue. But though picture lies thus bathed in their hillside blue. But though picture lies thus tranced, and though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs tranced, and though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs like leaves upon this shepherds head, yet all were vain, like leaves upon this shepherds head, yet all were vain, unless the shepherds eye were fixed upon the magic unless the shepherds eye were fixed upon the magic stream before him.stream before him. (From Herman Melville, (From Herman Melville, Moby-DickMoby-Dick) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of six sentences, of which the The selection consists of six sentences, of which the first two are simple sentences; the third is a complex first two are simple sentences; the third is a complex interrogative sentence, composed of a main clause and interrogative sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive clause; the fourth is a compound complex an attributive clause; the fourth is a compound complex sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, of which sentence, composed of two coordinate clauses, of which the first is also compound in structure, composed of the first is also compound in structure, composed of three coordinate clauses, of which the first has an three coordinate clauses, of which the first has an adverbial clause of manner further embedded besides a adverbial clause of manner further embedded besides a parenthetic structure embedded before it; the fifth is a parenthetic structure embedded before it; the fifth is a simple sentence; and the last is a complex compound simple sentence; and the last is a complex compound sentence, consisting of two coordinate adverbial clauses sentence, consisting of two coordinate adverbial clauses of concession, a main clause and an adverbial clause of of concession, a main clause and an adverbial clause of condition.condition.(2) Additional complication： The first sentence begins with an adverb; the clauses in the fourth sentence each begin with the adverb where or here, and up from yonder cottage goes a sleepy smoke is in inverted order; the fifth sentence is in inverted order; and the last sentence begins with two coordinate adverbial clauses besides but. B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： The first three are loose sentences while the last three are periodic sentences for the reason that the fourth begins with an adverb and has a parenthesis embedded, that is, each with a hollow trunk, and the last clause is in inverted order; the fifth begins with an adjective phrase; the last begins with two coordinate adverbial clauses.(2) Structural complication： All the sentences are not structurally complicated except for perhaps the third, a complex sentence; the fourth, a compound complex sentence; and the sixth, a complex sentence.(3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures are In the selection, parallel structures are frequently used, for example,frequently used, for example, dreamiest dreamiest, , shadiestshadiest, , quietestquietest, , most enchantingmost enchanting; ; here sleeps here sleeps his meadowhis meadow, and , and there sleep his cattlethere sleep his cattle; ; there there stand his treesstand his trees, , each with a hollow trunk, each with a hollow trunk, ; ; up up from yonder cottage goes a sleepy smokefrom yonder cottage goes a sleepy smoke and and deep into distant woodlands winds a mazy deep into distant woodlands winds a mazy wayway; and ; and though picture lies thus trancedthough picture lies thus tranced, and , and though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs like though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs like leaves upon this shepherds headleaves upon this shepherds head. .(4) Cohesive device：In terms of cohesive device, examples could be In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; frequently used; hehe and and hishis are repeatedly used are repeatedly used to stand for the artist; to stand for the artist; herehere and and therethere are are repeatedly used, indicating that the writing repeatedly used, indicating that the writing follows a spatial development; follows a spatial development; landscapelandscape, , woodlandwoodland, , valleyvalley, , mountainsmountains, , hillsidehillside, , streamstream, , cottagecottage and and smokesmoke are semantically related in are semantically related in the context; the context; treestrees, , trunktrunk, , pine-treepine-tree and so on and so on are also semantically related in the context, and are also semantically related in the context, and so on. so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, used, for example, desiredesire, , enchantingenchanting, , romanticromantic, , landscapelandscape, , hermithermit, , employemploy, , crucifixcrucifix, , overlappingoverlapping, , mountainsmountains, and so on. In addition, the narration is in , and so on. In addition, the narration is in third person and the narrator tells the story from the third person and the narrator tells the story from the angle of an onlooker engaged in an implied dialogue angle of an onlooker engaged in an implied dialogue with you on the other side. Examined in isolation with you on the other side. Examined in isolation without referring to the co-text, the passage carries a without referring to the co-text, the passage carries a tone not so series nor ironic either. On the whole, it tone not so series nor ironic either. On the whole, it sounds a bit exotic and odd.sounds a bit exotic and odd.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 可是，这儿有一位艺术家。他希望为你画一可是，这儿有一位艺术家。他希望为你画一幅最梦幻的、最阴影的、最安静的、最迷人的罗幅最梦幻的、最阴影的、最安静的、最迷人的罗曼蒂克式的包揽撒科山谷所有山水的画。他所利曼蒂克式的包揽撒科山谷所有山水的画。他所利用的主要元素是什么？那儿站立着许多树，每棵用的主要元素是什么？那儿站立着许多树，每棵树干都是空心的，就好像里面有一位隐士和一个树干都是空心的，就好像里面有一位隐士和一个小十字架；这儿躺着草坪，那儿睡着牛群；从远小十字架；这儿躺着草坪，那儿睡着牛群；从远处的村庄，升起一股昏昏欲睡的炊烟。通向远方处的村庄，升起一股昏昏欲睡的炊烟。通向远方的树林深处，蜿蜒着一条迷宫似的小道，抵达突的树林深处，蜿蜒着一条迷宫似的小道，抵达突出出来而又相互重叠的山脊，浸泡在山边的一片出出来而又相互重叠的山脊，浸泡在山边的一片蔚蓝之中。虽然画是那样的空濛，那松树颤抖下蔚蓝之中。虽然画是那样的空濛，那松树颤抖下了声声叹息，就像落在牧童头上的树叶一样，然了声声叹息，就像落在牧童头上的树叶一样，然而，一切都是虚无的，除非牧童的眼睛静止在他而，一切都是虚无的，除非牧童的眼睛静止在他前面的那魔术般的溪流上。前面的那魔术般的溪流上。Comments: Possibly, to some, to students, for example, the translation is reluctantly acceptable, for every bit of ideas in the original could be found there. And it does not sound as exotic as many others that we have offered our comments on. However, we could change the wording and structure so that it may sound more literary and authentic.B) Translation 2: 然而，这儿有一位画家。他希望为你画一幅然而，这儿有一位画家。他希望为你画一幅最梦幻、最朦胧、最静谧、最富诗意的包容撒科最梦幻、最朦胧、最静谧、最富诗意的包容撒科山谷所有山水的浪漫山水画。他所使用的主要元山谷所有山水的浪漫山水画。他所使用的主要元素是什么？那儿有许多树，每棵树的树干都是空素是什么？那儿有许多树，每棵树的树干都是空的，里面似乎有一位挂着小十字架的隐士；这儿的，里面似乎有一位挂着小十字架的隐士；这儿躺着草坪，那儿睡着牛群；远处的村庄，升起一躺着草坪，那儿睡着牛群；远处的村庄，升起一股昏昏欲睡的炊烟。一条迷宫小道，蜿蜒曲折，股昏昏欲睡的炊烟。一条迷宫小道，蜿蜒曲折，通向远处的树林深处，抵达突出而交错的山脊，通向远处的树林深处，抵达突出而交错的山脊，浸泡在山边的一片清翠之中。虽然画是那样的空浸泡在山边的一片清翠之中。虽然画是那样的空濛，虽然那松树颤抖下声声叹息，就像落在牧羊濛，虽然那松树颤抖下声声叹息，就像落在牧羊人头上的树叶一样，然而，一切都是虚无的，除人头上的树叶一样，然而，一切都是虚无的，除非牧羊人的眼睛盯在他前面的那神奇的溪流上。非牧羊人的眼睛盯在他前面的那神奇的溪流上。Comments: The translation has improved on the previous here and there and consequently the ideas the original author wants to express become more explicit and the translation sounds more authentic in the Chinese sense. However, improvements could further be made to enhance the readability.C) Translation 3: 可是，有位画家想将撒科山谷的山水画成一可是，有位画家想将撒科山谷的山水画成一幅画，一幅一览无余的画，一幅最梦幻、最朦胧、幅画，一幅一览无余的画，一幅最梦幻、最朦胧、最静谧、最富诗意的浪漫山水画。他主要使用的最静谧、最富诗意的浪漫山水画。他主要使用的是什么？你看，树木森森，树干空空，里面仿佛是什么？你看，树木森森，树干空空，里面仿佛隐藏着一位隐士，佩带十字架；草坪躺着，牛群隐藏着一位隐士，佩带十字架；草坪躺着，牛群睡着；远处的村庄，炊烟袅袅，昏昏欲睡。一条睡着；远处的村庄，炊烟袅袅，昏昏欲睡。一条小道，径迷途隐，曲折蜿蜒，通向远处的丛林深小道，径迷途隐，曲折蜿蜒，通向远处的丛林深处，穿过层叠的山脊，隐逸在山边的滴滴清翠之处，穿过层叠的山脊，隐逸在山边的滴滴清翠之中。画虽是那样的空濛，松树虽颤抖下声声叹息，中。画虽是那样的空濛，松树虽颤抖下声声叹息，就像落叶撒在牧童的头上一样，然而，万物空灵，就像落叶撒在牧童的头上一样，然而，万物空灵，只有牧童的眼睛盯着面前那神奇的潺潺溪流。只有牧童的眼睛盯着面前那神奇的潺潺溪流。Comments: Improvements are made when long clauses Improvements are made when long clauses are chopped into pieces, mainly in phrase of are chopped into pieces, mainly in phrase of three or four characters, intervened with some three or four characters, intervened with some longer ones here and there. And the first longer ones here and there. And the first sentence in the translation is organized in a pure sentence in the translation is organized in a pure Chinese way, a literary way, too. In this way, Chinese way, a literary way, too. In this way, readability is much more enhanced, and it readability is much more enhanced, and it sounds perhaps more literary and authentic, sounds perhaps more literary and authentic, though in the process, the structures of the though in the process, the structures of the original is broken up and reorganized again and original is broken up and reorganized again and again, a process, as is usually called with regard again, a process, as is usually called with regard to poetry translation, of dissembling and to poetry translation, of dissembling and assembling. assembling. Original 54 Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I begin to grow hazy about the eyes, and sea whenever I begin to grow hazy about the eyes, and begin to be over conscious of my lungs, I do not mean begin to be over conscious of my lungs, I do not mean to have it inferred that I ever go to sea as a passenger. to have it inferred that I ever go to sea as a passenger. For to go as a passenger you must needs have a purse, For to go as a passenger you must needs have a purse, and a purse is but a rag unless you have something in it. and a purse is but a rag unless you have something in it. Besides, passengers get seasick Besides, passengers get seasick grow quarrelsome grow quarrelsome dont sleep of nights do not enjoy themselves much, dont sleep of nights do not enjoy themselves much, as a general thing; no, I never go as a passenger, nor, as a general thing; no, I never go as a passenger, nor, though I am something of a salt, do I ever go to sea as though I am something of a salt, do I ever go to sea as a Commodore, or a Captain, or a Cook. I abandon the a Commodore, or a Captain, or a Cook. I abandon the glory and distinction of such offices to those who like glory and distinction of such offices to those who like them. For my part, I abominate all honorable respectable them. For my part, I abominate all honorable respectable toils, trials, and tribulations of every kind whatsoever. toils, trials, and tribulations of every kind whatsoever. (From Herman Melville, (From Herman Melville, Moby-DickMoby-Dick) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of five sentences, of which the The selection consists of five sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial first is a complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of time and a main clause; the adverbial clause of clause of time and a main clause; the adverbial clause of time in turn is complex in structure, composed of a main time in turn is complex in structure, composed of a main clause and an object clause with an adverbial clause of clause and an object clause with an adverbial clause of time further embedded; and the main clause is again time further embedded; and the main clause is again complex in structure, composed of a main cause and an complex in structure, composed of a main cause and an object clause. The second is a compound sentence, object clause. The second is a compound sentence, consisting of two coordinate clauses. The third is a consisting of two coordinate clauses. The third is a compound complex sentence, consisting of two compound complex sentence, consisting of two coordinate clauses, the second of which in turn is coordinate clauses, the second of which in turn is composed of two coordinate clauses, the second of composed of two coordinate clauses, the second of which has an adverbial clause of concession further which has an adverbial clause of concession further embedded. The fourth is a complex sentence, composed embedded. The fourth is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive clause. And the fifth of a main clause and an attributive clause. And the fifth is a simple sentence. is a simple sentence. (2) Additional complication： The first sentence begins with an adverb and an The first sentence begins with an adverb and an adverbial clause of time with further embeddings, and in adverbial clause of time with further embeddings, and in the main clause, it is the formal object whilethe main clause, it is the formal object while that I ever that I ever go to sea as a passengergo to sea as a passenger is the real subject. In the is the real subject. In the second sentence, which begins with an elliptic adverbial second sentence, which begins with an elliptic adverbial clause of reason, clause of reason, you must needs have a purse simply you must needs have a purse simply means you must have a pursemeans you must have a purse, and the, and the but but in in and a and a purse is but a ragpurse is but a ragmeans means onlyonly. In the third sentence, . In the third sentence, which begins with an adverb, which begins with an adverb, passengers get seasick passengers get seasick grow quarrelsome dont sleep of nights do not grow quarrelsome dont sleep of nights do not enjoy themselves much, as a general thingenjoy themselves much, as a general thing; ; , means , means passengers get seasick, grow quarrelsome, dont sleep passengers get seasick, grow quarrelsome, dont sleep of nights, do not enjoy themselves much, as a general of nights, do not enjoy themselves much, as a general thingthing; . In the structure, ; . In the structure, nor, . , do I ever go to sea nor, . , do I ever go to sea asasis cut off by the parenthesis though is cut off by the parenthesis though I am something I am something of a saltof a salt. And the fifth sentence begins with a . And the fifth sentence begins with a prepositional phrase.prepositional phrase.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： The first sentence is periodic in that it begins The first sentence is periodic in that it begins with an adverb together with a long adverbial with an adverb together with a long adverbial clause of time; the second sentence is also clause of time; the second sentence is also periodic in that it begins with an elliptic periodic in that it begins with an elliptic adverbial clause of reason; the third sentence adverbial clause of reason; the third sentence begins with an adverbial phrase, and in the begins with an adverbial phrase, and in the sentence the adverbial clause of concession can sentence the adverbial clause of concession can be regarded as a parenthesis; the fourth is a be regarded as a parenthesis; the fourth is a loose sentence while the fifth is periodic for it loose sentence while the fifth is periodic for it begins with a prepositional phrase. begins with a prepositional phrase. (2) Structural complication： All the sentences are not very complicated and in the selection, there are some colloquial structures, for example, the frequently used dashes; nor in the last but two lines looks like a parenthesis, and needs in the third line is used between must and have, etc. (3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures are frequently used, for example, begin to grow hazy about the eyes, and begin to be over conscious of my lungs; get seasick grow quarrelsome dont sleep of nights do not enjoy themselves much, as a general thing; a Commodore, or a Captain, or a Cook; glory and distinction; honorable and respectable; and toils, trials, and tribulations.(4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are be found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; frequently used; I I, , seasea, , the seathe sea and and go to seago to sea are repeatedly used; are repeatedly used; mymy is repeated and used to is repeated and used to stand for stand for I I; ; youyou, as an imaginary interlocutor, is , as an imaginary interlocutor, is repeated and used in contrast with repeated and used in contrast with I I; and so on.; and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, example, consciousconscious, , inferinfer, , passengerpassenger, , quarrelsomequarrelsome, , generalgeneral, , commodorecommodore, , captaincaptain, , abandonabandon, , distinctiondistinction, , abominateabominate, , honorablehonorable, , respectablerespectable, , tribulationtribulation, and others. , and others. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 现在，当我说我习惯到大海去，每当我开始对现在，当我说我习惯到大海去，每当我开始对眼睛变得越来越模糊时，每当我开始对我的肺过眼睛变得越来越模糊时，每当我开始对我的肺过多地注意时，我的意思不是让别人推导出我以旅多地注意时，我的意思不是让别人推导出我以旅客的身份到大海去。因为以旅客的身份到大海去，客的身份到大海去。因为以旅客的身份到大海去，你得有钱包。一只钱包只不过是个麻袋片，除非你得有钱包。一只钱包只不过是个麻袋片，除非里面有点东西。另外，旅客容易晕船里面有点东西。另外，旅客容易晕船容易吵容易吵吵闹闹吵闹闹夜里睡不着觉夜里睡不着觉自己也得不到享乐，自己也得不到享乐，作为一种总体的东西；作为一种总体的东西；不，我决不以旅客的不，我决不以旅客的身份去。我虽然也有点身份，但我决不以海军准身份去。我虽然也有点身份，但我决不以海军准将、上校或库克船长那样的身份去。我放弃这些将、上校或库克船长那样的身份去。我放弃这些官职的荣誉和地位，给那些喜欢它们的人们。对官职的荣誉和地位，给那些喜欢它们的人们。对我来说，我厌恶所有的荣誉的令人尊敬的劳累、我来说，我厌恶所有的荣誉的令人尊敬的劳累、考验和令人痛苦的东西，不管是哪一类型的。考验和令人痛苦的东西，不管是哪一类型的。Comments: Generally speaking, every idea in the original could be Generally speaking, every idea in the original could be found in the translation. However, it seems that the found in the translation. However, it seems that the translation follows the original structure, and in some translation follows the original structure, and in some cases, the vocabulary, a little too strictly. Consequently, it cases, the vocabulary, a little too strictly. Consequently, it sounds somewhat exotic. For example, in the original, sounds somewhat exotic. For example, in the original, 每每当我开始对眼睛变得越来越模糊时，每当我开始对我的肺当我开始对眼睛变得越来越模糊时，每当我开始对我的肺过多地注意时过多地注意时is used to modify is used to modify 我说我习惯到大海去我说我习惯到大海去; but ; but in the translation, the relation becomes ambiguous; in the translation, the relation becomes ambiguous; 作为作为一种总体的东西一种总体的东西in the usual case of translation should be in the usual case of translation should be fronted; and fronted; and 厌恶所有的荣誉的令人尊敬的劳累、考验和厌恶所有的荣誉的令人尊敬的劳累、考验和令人痛苦的东西令人痛苦的东西 presents difficulty for the reader in his presents difficulty for the reader in his understanding. understanding. B) Translation 2: 每当我对眼睛的认识越来越模糊的时候，每当我对我每当我对眼睛的认识越来越模糊的时候，每当我对我的肺过度注意的时候，我就说我有到大海去的习惯。我这的肺过度注意的时候，我就说我有到大海去的习惯。我这样说，意思不是说要以旅客的身份到大海去。因为以旅客样说，意思不是说要以旅客的身份到大海去。因为以旅客的身份去大海，得有钱包。而钱包里面如果没有点东西，的身份去大海，得有钱包。而钱包里面如果没有点东西，就是个麻袋片。另外，总体说来，旅客容易晕船就是个麻袋片。另外，总体说来，旅客容易晕船容易容易吵吵闹闹吵吵闹闹容易夜不成眠容易夜不成眠难以得到享受；难以得到享受；不，不，我决不以旅客的身份去。我虽有点身份，但也决不以海军我决不以旅客的身份去。我虽有点身份，但也决不以海军准将、上校或库克船长那样的身份去。我放弃这些荣誉和准将、上校或库克船长那样的身份去。我放弃这些荣誉和地位，让给喜欢它们的人们。在我看来，我厌恶所有的荣地位，让给喜欢它们的人们。在我看来，我厌恶所有的荣誉的令人尊敬的劳累、考验和令人痛苦的东西，讨厌诸如誉的令人尊敬的劳累、考验和令人痛苦的东西，讨厌诸如此类的一切东西。此类的一切东西。Comments: Improvements are made when the two clauses in the first sentence are fronted and some expressions are structurally changed. However, the translation still sounds somewhat exotic, especially the very last sentence, which actually remains intact.C) Translation 3: 每当我为双眼发愁、为两肺担忧的时候，就每当我为双眼发愁、为两肺担忧的时候，就说我有去大海的习惯。我这样说，并不意味着要说我有去大海的习惯。我这样说，并不意味着要去做旅客。因为出海旅游，得有钱包。钱包里如去做旅客。因为出海旅游，得有钱包。钱包里如果没有钱，就是个废物。还有，一般说来，旅客果没有钱，就是个废物。还有，一般说来，旅客容易晕船，容易焦躁不安，容易夜不能寐。总之，容易晕船，容易焦躁不安，容易夜不能寐。总之，难以自享其乐。不，我决不做旅客。我虽有点身难以自享其乐。不，我决不做旅客。我虽有点身份，但也决不以海军将领、校官或船长的身份去。份，但也决不以海军将领、校官或船长的身份去。我放弃这些荣誉和地位，谁喜欢就给谁。在我看我放弃这些荣誉和地位，谁喜欢就给谁。在我看来，这些职位虽然荣耀，虽然备受青睐，但也劳来，这些职位虽然荣耀，虽然备受青睐，但也劳累，也考验人，也吃苦，我讨厌这些东西，讨厌累，也考验人，也吃苦，我讨厌这些东西，讨厌所有的诸如此类的东西。所有的诸如此类的东西。Comments: With long clauses chopped short, ready expressions With long clauses chopped short, ready expressions used as replacements, cohesive devices duly inserted used as replacements, cohesive devices duly inserted and other measures taken, the present translation, and other measures taken, the present translation, consequently, sounds more literary and authentic. consequently, sounds more literary and authentic. Analyzed in detail, we will find that in the translation, we Analyzed in detail, we will find that in the translation, we have used more parallel structures than in the original. have used more parallel structures than in the original. For example, For example, 为双眼发愁、为两肺担忧为双眼发愁、为两肺担忧; ; 容易晕船，容易容易晕船，容易焦躁不安，容易夜不能寐焦躁不安，容易夜不能寐; ; 海军将领、校官或船长海军将领、校官或船长; ; 荣誉荣誉和地位和地位; ; 虽然荣耀，虽然备受青睐虽然荣耀，虽然备受青睐; ; 也劳累，也考验人也劳累，也考验人，也吃苦也吃苦and and 讨厌这些东西，讨厌所有的诸如此类的东西讨厌这些东西，讨厌所有的诸如此类的东西. . And in most of the parallel structures, attention is paid to And in most of the parallel structures, attention is paid to the use of equal number of characters. In addition, in the use of equal number of characters. In addition, in some cases, more abstract terms are used in the some cases, more abstract terms are used in the translation, for example, translation, for example, 废物废物; ; 海军将领海军将领; ; 校官校官andand船长船长. . Original 55 I scarcely know where to begin, though I sometimes I scarcely know where to begin, though I sometimes facetiously place the cause of it all to Charley Furuseths facetiously place the cause of it all to Charley Furuseths credit. He kept a summer cottage in Mill Valley, under credit. He kept a summer cottage in Mill Valley, under the shadow of Mount Tamalpais, and never occupied it the shadow of Mount Tamalpais, and never occupied it except when he loafed through the winter months and except when he loafed through the winter months and read Nietzsche and Schopenhauer to rest his brain. read Nietzsche and Schopenhauer to rest his brain. When summer came on, he elected to sweat out a hot When summer came on, he elected to sweat out a hot and dusty existence in the city and to toil incessantly. and dusty existence in the city and to toil incessantly. Had it not been my custom to run up to see him every Had it not been my custom to run up to see him every Saturday afternoon and to stop over till Monday Saturday afternoon and to stop over till Monday morning, this particular January Monday morning would morning, this particular January Monday morning would not have found me afloat on San Francisco Bay.not have found me afloat on San Francisco Bay. (From Jack London, (From Jack London, The Sea WolfThe Sea Wolf) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of four sentences, of The selection consists of four sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, consisting which the first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and an adverbial clause of of a main clause and an adverbial clause of concession, and in the main clause, there is an concession, and in the main clause, there is an elliptic object clause. The second is again a elliptic object clause. The second is again a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and an adverbial clause of time. The third is also and an adverbial clause of time. The third is also a complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial a complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of time and a main clause. And the last is clause of time and a main clause. And the last is once more a complex sentence, consisting of an once more a complex sentence, consisting of an adverbial clause of condition and a main clause.adverbial clause of condition and a main clause.(2) Additional complication： The second sentence has The second sentence has under the shadow under the shadow of Mount Tamalpaisof Mount Tamalpais embedded as a parenthesis; embedded as a parenthesis; the third sentence begins with an adverbial the third sentence begins with an adverbial clause; and the last sentence, beginning with an clause; and the last sentence, beginning with an adverbial clause, is in subjunctive mood, and it adverbial clause, is in subjunctive mood, and it is marked by the fact that in the adverbial clause is marked by the fact that in the adverbial clause of condition, of condition, if if is omitted and accordingly, the is omitted and accordingly, the subject and the predicate verb phrase is partially subject and the predicate verb phrase is partially inverted.inverted.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： Of the four sentences, the first is loose while the other three are periodic for the reason that the second sentence has a parenthetic structure embedded and the other two each begin with an adverbial clause.(2) Structural complication： All the sentences are not grammatically very complicated, for each has only one or two subordinate clauses embedded.(3) Parallel structure： The two predicates in the main clause of the second sentence are parallel to each other and the adverbial clause of time in the same sentence also consists of two parallel predicates. In the third sentence, the two infinitive phrases in the main clause are parallel to each other and the same is true with the two infinitive phrases in the conditional clause of the last sentence.(4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; I is repeatedly used; he is repeatedly used to refer to Charley Furuseth; Monday morning is repeated, and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, example, facetiouslyfacetiously, , shadowshadow, , incessantlyincessantly, , particularparticular, , customcustom, , existenceexistence, and others. , and others. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 我几乎不知道从什么地方开始，虽然我有时我几乎不知道从什么地方开始，虽然我有时开玩笑地将这件事的一切原因都归功于查理开玩笑地将这件事的一切原因都归功于查理. .弗卢弗卢瑟斯。他在米尔瑟斯。他在米尔. .韦利有一幢夏日住房，在塔玛尔韦利有一幢夏日住房，在塔玛尔佩斯山脚下的阴凉地里。他从不住在那里，除非佩斯山脚下的阴凉地里。他从不住在那里，除非他在冬季里无所事事，阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以休他在冬季里无所事事，阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以休息他的大脑。夏日来到了，他选择在城里过炎热、息他的大脑。夏日来到了，他选择在城里过炎热、有灰尘的流汗日子，不停地劳作。要不是我有习有灰尘的流汗日子，不停地劳作。要不是我有习惯每个星期六下午到那儿去看他，在那儿一直过惯每个星期六下午到那儿去看他，在那儿一直过到星期一上午，这个特别的元月星期一的上午就到星期一上午，这个特别的元月星期一的上午就看不到我在旧金山海湾漂流。看不到我在旧金山海湾漂流。Comments: The translation is executed by following the The translation is executed by following the original clause by clause, sentence by sentence. original clause by clause, sentence by sentence. To some, it is reluctantly acceptable, though To some, it is reluctantly acceptable, though possible to be read with some difficulty. For possible to be read with some difficulty. For example, example, 在塔玛尔佩斯山脚下的阴凉地里在塔玛尔佩斯山脚下的阴凉地里could could either be fronted or reworded and the same is either be fronted or reworded and the same is true with true with 阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以休息他的大脑阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以休息他的大脑. . All these, together with others, point to the fact All these, together with others, point to the fact that the translation could be structured and that the translation could be structured and reworded.reworded.B) Translation 2: 我几乎不知道从什么地方开始，虽然有时开我几乎不知道从什么地方开始，虽然有时开玩笑地将一切都归因于查理玩笑地将一切都归因于查理. .弗卢瑟斯。他在米尔弗卢瑟斯。他在米尔. .韦利有一幢消夏用的房子，建在塔玛尔佩斯山下韦利有一幢消夏用的房子，建在塔玛尔佩斯山下的阴凉地里。他从不到那里去住，只有当冬季里的阴凉地里。他从不到那里去住，只有当冬季里无所事事时，到那里阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以便让无所事事时，到那里阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以便让大脑休息一下。夏日来到了，他宁愿呆在炎热、大脑休息一下。夏日来到了，他宁愿呆在炎热、肮脏的城市里流汗，不停顿地劳作。要不是我习肮脏的城市里流汗，不停顿地劳作。要不是我习惯星期六下午到那儿去看他，一直呆到星期一上惯星期六下午到那儿去看他，一直呆到星期一上午，这个特别的元月星期一的上午就见不到我在午，这个特别的元月星期一的上午就见不到我在旧金山海湾漂流。旧金山海湾漂流。Comments: Compared with the previous, minor changes could be found throughout and some magnificent changes could be found occasionally. For example, 建在塔玛尔佩斯山下的阴凉地里; 到那里阅读尼切和萧翉豪尔以便让大脑休息一下, and others are used to substitute for the previous translations. However, the basic structures of the previous translation on the whole remain almost intact.C) Translation 3: 我几乎不知从何入手，虽然有时开玩笑地说，我几乎不知从何入手，虽然有时开玩笑地说，一切都应归功于查理一切都应归功于查理. .弗卢瑟斯。他在米尔弗卢瑟斯。他在米尔. .韦利韦利有一幢避暑用房，建在塔玛尔佩斯山下的阴凉地有一幢避暑用房，建在塔玛尔佩斯山下的阴凉地里。他从不住到那里，冬天到了，无所事事，他里。他从不住到那里，冬天到了，无所事事，他才到那里阅读尼切、萧翉豪尔之类的闲书，以便才到那里阅读尼切、萧翉豪尔之类的闲书，以便养精蓄锐。夏天到了，城市里赤日炎炎，灰尘扑养精蓄锐。夏天到了，城市里赤日炎炎，灰尘扑面，他宁愿呆在那儿，流汗夹背，劳累终日。星面，他宁愿呆在那儿，流汗夹背，劳累终日。星期六下午我总要去看他，过上一夜，第二天上午期六下午我总要去看他，过上一夜，第二天上午回来，要不是这样，今天，元月星期一的上午，回来，要不是这样，今天，元月星期一的上午，就见不到我在旧金山海湾漂流了。就见不到我在旧金山海湾漂流了。Comments: In making improvements on the previous translation, long clauses are cut short, four character phrases are used here and there, and other betterments are made throughout. Consequently, the translation sounds more literary and authentic, and reads more fluently, though changes irrespective of the original structures make it look like a piece of rewriting to a great extent.Exercises51-55Exercises 51: And after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to And after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after founded on the hard rock or the wet marshes, but after a certain point I dont care what its founded on. When I a certain point I dont care what its founded on. When I came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted came back from the East last autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral the world to be in uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever. I wanted no more riotous excursions attention forever. I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. On with privileged glimpses into the human heart. On Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction Gatsby, who represented exempt from my reaction Gatsby, who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great GatsbyThe Great Gatsby) )Exercises 52: I followed him over a low whitewashed railroad fence, I followed him over a low whitewashed railroad fence, and we walked back a hundred yards along the road and we walked back a hundred yards along the road under Doctor Eckleburgs persistent stare. The only under Doctor Eckleburgs persistent stare. The only building in sight was a small block of yellow brick sitting building in sight was a small block of yellow brick sitting on the edge of the waste land, a sort of compact Main on the edge of the waste land, a sort of compact Main Street ministering to it, and contiguous to absolutely Street ministering to it, and contiguous to absolutely nothing. One of the three shops it contained was for rent nothing. One of the three shops it contained was for rent and another was an all-night restaurant, approached by and another was an all-night restaurant, approached by a trail of ashes; the third was a garage a trail of ashes; the third was a garage RepairsRepairs. . GEORGE B. WILSON. GEORGE B. WILSON. Cars bought and sold Cars bought and sold and I and I followed Tom inside.followed Tom inside. (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, (From F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great GatsbyThe Great Gatsby) )Exercises 53: I stuffed a shirt or two into my old carpet-bag, tucked it under my arm, and started for Cape Horn and the Pacific. Quitting the good city of Manhatto, I duly arrived in New Bedford. It was on a Saturday night in December. Much was I disappointed upon learning that the little packet for Nantucket had already sailed, and that no way of reaching that place would offer, till the following Monday.Exercises 53 (continued): As most young candidates for the pains and As most young candidates for the pains and penalties of whaling stop at this same New penalties of whaling stop at this same New Bedford, thence to embark on their voyage, it Bedford, thence to embark on their voyage, it may as well be related that I, for one, had no may as well be related that I, for one, had no idea of so doing. For my mind was made up to idea of so doing. For my mind was made up to sail in no other than Nantucket craft, because sail in no other than Nantucket craft, because there was a fine, boisterous something about there was a fine, boisterous something about everything connected with that famous old everything connected with that famous old island, which amazingly pleased me.island, which amazingly pleased me. (Herman Melville, (Herman Melville, Moby-DickMoby-Dick) ) Exercises 54: There now is your insular city of the Mangattoes, belted round by wharves as Indian isles by coral reefs commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets take you waterward. Its extreme downtown is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves, and cooled by breezes, which a few hours previous were out of sight of land. Look at the crowds of water-gazers there.Exercises 54 (continued): Circumambulate the city of a dreamy Sabbath Circumambulate the city of a dreamy Sabbath afternoon. Go from Corlears Hook to Coenties afternoon. Go from Corlears Hook to Coenties Slip, and from thence, by Whitehall, northward. Slip, and from thence, by Whitehall, northward. What do you see? What do you see? Posted like silent sentinels Posted like silent sentinels all around the town, stand thousands upon all around the town, stand thousands upon thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries. thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries. Some leaning against the spiles; some seated Some leaning against the spiles; some seated upon pier-heads; some looking over the upon pier-heads; some looking over the bulwarks of ships from China; some high aloft in bulwarks of ships from China; some high aloft in the rigging, as if striving to get a still better the rigging, as if striving to get a still better seaward peep.seaward peep. (From Herman Melville, (From Herman Melville, Moby-DickMoby-Dick) )Exercises 55: Not but that I was afloat in a safe craft for the Not but that I was afloat in a safe craft for the Martinez was a new ferry-steamer, making her fourth or Martinez was a new ferry-steamer, making her fourth or fifth trip on the run between Sausalito and San fifth trip on the run between Sausalito and San Francisco. The danger lay in the heavy fog which Francisco. The danger lay in the heavy fog which blanketed the bay, and of which, as a landsman, I had blanketed the bay, and of which, as a landsman, I had little apprehension. In fact, I remember the placid little apprehension. In fact, I remember the placid exaltation with which I took up my position on the exaltation with which I took up my position on the forward upper deck, directly beneath the pilothouse, and forward upper deck, directly beneath the pilothouse, and allowed the mystery of the fog to lay hold of my allowed the mystery of the fog to lay hold of my imagination. A fresh breeze was blowing, and for a time imagination. A fresh breeze was blowing, and for a time I am alone in the moist obscurity I am alone in the moist obscurity yet not alone, for I yet not alone, for I was dimly conscious of the presence of the pilot, and of was dimly conscious of the presence of the pilot, and of what I took to be the captain, in the glass house above what I took to be the captain, in the glass house above my head.my head. (From Jack London, (From Jack London, The Sea WolfThe Sea Wolf) )第四节 美国小说汉译（2）56-60Original 56 I remember thinking how comfortable it was, this I remember thinking how comfortable it was, this division of labor which made it unnecessary for me to division of labor which made it unnecessary for me to study fogs, winds, tides, and navigation, in order to visit study fogs, winds, tides, and navigation, in order to visit my friend who lived across an arm of the sea. It was my friend who lived across an arm of the sea. It was good that men should be specialists, I mused. The good that men should be specialists, I mused. The peculiar knowledge of the pilot and captain sufficed for peculiar knowledge of the pilot and captain sufficed for many thousands of people who knew no more of the sea many thousands of people who knew no more of the sea and navigation than I knew. On the other hand, instead and navigation than I knew. On the other hand, instead of having to devote my energy to the learning of a of having to devote my energy to the learning of a multitude of things, I concentrated it upon a few multitude of things, I concentrated it upon a few particular things, such as, for instance, the analysis of particular things, such as, for instance, the analysis of Poes place in American literature Poes place in American literature an essay of mine, an essay of mine, by the way, in the current by the way, in the current AtlanticAtlantic. . (From Jack London, (From Jack London, The Sea WolfThe Sea Wolf) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of four sentences, of which the The selection consists of four sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause, first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause, a clause serving as the object of the gerund a clause serving as the object of the gerund thinkingthinking and an attributive clause in the middle of the sentence and an attributive clause in the middle of the sentence with another attributive clause further embedded at the with another attributive clause further embedded at the end of the sentence; the second is also a complex end of the sentence; the second is also a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an object sentence, composed of a main clause and an object clause, which is in turn composed of a main clause and clause, which is in turn composed of a main clause and a predicative clause; the third is again a complex a predicative clause; the third is again a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive sentence, composed of a main clause and an attributive clause with an adverbial clause of comparison further clause with an adverbial clause of comparison further embedded; and the last is a simple sentence. embedded; and the last is a simple sentence. (2) Additional complication： In the main clause of the first sentence, specifically in In the main clause of the first sentence, specifically in the object ofthe object of thinking thinking, , it it is the formal subject and is the formal subject and thisthis division of labordivision of labor the real subject; and in the object the real subject; and in the object clause of the second sentence, clause of the second sentence, it it is the formal subject is the formal subject and and that men should be specialists,that men should be specialists, the real subject. the real subject. Therefore, the sentence could be rearranged like this: Therefore, the sentence could be rearranged like this: I I mused that it was good for men to be specialistsmused that it was good for men to be specialists. The . The last sentence begins with two prepositional phrases last sentence begins with two prepositional phrases arranged one after the other and has arranged one after the other and has for instancefor instance; ; such such asas, , for instancefor instance, , the analysis of Poes place in American the analysis of Poes place in American literatureliterature; ; by the wayby the way and so on embedded as and so on embedded as parentheses.parentheses.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： From the viewpoint of periodic and loose sentence, and of parenthesis, we can say that the two even-numbered sentences are periodic, and the fourth sentence, in particular, begins with a prepositional phrase, followed by another and has a few parenthetic structures embedded, but the two odd-numbered ones are loose. (2) Structural complication： In each of all the sentences except for the third, there In each of all the sentences except for the third, there is at least one parenthesis and at most, in the case of is at least one parenthesis and at most, in the case of the last sentence, there are a few parentheses. All the the last sentence, there are a few parentheses. All the sentences in the selection are complicated in structure. sentences in the selection are complicated in structure. In the first sentence, In the first sentence, it it serves as the formal subject in serves as the formal subject in the subordinate clause, and the subordinate clause, and this division of laborthis division of labor as the as the real subject. In addition, in the sentence, there are three real subject. In addition, in the sentence, there are three subordinate clauses embedded at different levels. In the subordinate clauses embedded at different levels. In the second sentence, second sentence, it it is the formal subject while is the formal subject while that men that men should be specialistsshould be specialists is the real subject, and the whole is the real subject, and the whole clause serves as the object of clause serves as the object of musedmused. In the third . In the third sentence, there is a subordinate clause. The structure of sentence, there is a subordinate clause. The structure of the fourth sentence is also complicated, though in terms the fourth sentence is also complicated, though in terms of parenthesis not in terms of subordination. of parenthesis not in terms of subordination. (3) Parallel structure: In the selection, parallel structures are not popularly used except for fogs, winds, tides, and navigation; pilot and captain; the sea and navigation. (4) Cohesive device：In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are occasionally used; I, the sea and navigation are repeatedly used, my and me are used to stand for I; fogs, winds, tides, navigation, the sea, pilot and captain are semantically related; Atlantic, American literature, essay and Poe are also semantically related, and so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, remember, comfortable, unnecessary, navigation, specialist, peculiar, knowledge, captain, suffice, multitude, and others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 我记得我想，那是多么舒适呀，这样的分工，使我没有必要去研究雾、风、潮汐和航海，以便去看望我的朋友，他住在海湾的那边。人居然成了专家，那是好事，我心里想。领航员和船长的特殊知识足够让千千万万的人渡海，这些人对海和航海知道得不比我多。另一方面，没有必要将我的精力用于学习许许多多的东西，我就集中精力于少数特殊的东西，例如分析坡在美国文学中的地位我的一篇论文，另外，发表在最近一期大西洋上。Comments: By following the original rigidly, we have produced a By following the original rigidly, we have produced a word-for-word translation, especially structurally, and word-for-word translation, especially structurally, and occasionally lexically. For example, in accordance with occasionally lexically. For example, in accordance with English grammar, English grammar, I remember thinkingI remember thinking should be should be translated astranslated as我记得我曾经想过我记得我曾经想过 and in accordance and in accordance with Chinese norms, the first sentence in the original with Chinese norms, the first sentence in the original could be translated like this: could be translated like this: 我记得我曾经这样想过，我我记得我曾经这样想过，我的朋友住在港湾那边，为了去看他，因为有了分工，我就的朋友住在港湾那边，为了去看他，因为有了分工，我就没有必要去研究雾、风、潮汐和航海了。这种分工多么使没有必要去研究雾、风、潮汐和航海了。这种分工多么使人惬意呀！人惬意呀！Of course, similar improvements could also Of course, similar improvements could also be made on other places of the translation.be made on other places of the translation.B) Translation 2: 我记得我曾认为，有了分工，为了去看望住在我记得我曾认为，有了分工，为了去看望住在港湾那边的朋友，我就没有必要去研究雾、风、港湾那边的朋友，我就没有必要去研究雾、风、潮汐和航海，这是多么舒适的事呀。人各有专长，潮汐和航海，这是多么舒适的事呀。人各有专长，那是好事，我心里想。领航员和船长具有专门知那是好事，我心里想。领航员和船长具有专门知识，足能使千千万万的人漂洋过海，这些人对海识，足能使千千万万的人漂洋过海，这些人对海和航海知道得不比我多。另一方面，不必化费精和航海知道得不比我多。另一方面，不必化费精力学习许许多多的东西，我就集中精力研究少数力学习许许多多的东西，我就集中精力研究少数特殊的东西，例如分析坡在美国文学中的地位特殊的东西，例如分析坡在美国文学中的地位我的一篇论文，发表在最近一期的大西洋我的一篇论文，发表在最近一期的大西洋上。上。Comments: Improvements have been made on the Improvements have been made on the previous translation, especially structurally. For previous translation, especially structurally. For example, the parts in the first sentence are now example, the parts in the first sentence are now rearranged in the sequence that is up to the rearranged in the sequence that is up to the normal standards of Chinese. However, there are normal standards of Chinese. However, there are still some weak points. For example, the still some weak points. For example, the translation of the last sentence of the original is translation of the last sentence of the original is not coherent enough in the context. And not coherent enough in the context. And I I remember thinkingremember thinking is not properly translated is not properly translated yet.yet.C) Translation 3: 我曾经认为，有了分工，为了去看望住在港湾我曾经认为，有了分工，为了去看望住在港湾那边的朋友，我就没有必要亲自去研究雾、风、那边的朋友，我就没有必要亲自去研究雾、风、潮汐和航海，这有多么惬意呀！我心里想，人各潮汐和航海，这有多么惬意呀！我心里想，人各有专长，是好事。领航员和船长都很专业，能带有专长，是好事。领航员和船长都很专业，能带领像我一样对大海和航海知之不多的芸芸众生漂领像我一样对大海和航海知之不多的芸芸众生漂洋过海。还有，我用不着什么都学，就能集中精洋过海。还有，我用不着什么都学，就能集中精力学习少数特定的东西，例如研究坡在美国文学力学习少数特定的东西，例如研究坡在美国文学中的地位。顺便说一句，我还真的写了一篇论文，中的地位。顺便说一句，我还真的写了一篇论文，发表在最近一期的大西洋杂志上。发表在最近一期的大西洋杂志上。Comments: The present translation has improved on all the above-mentioned translations, as can particularly demonstrated in the translation of the last two sentences in the original and I remember thinking at the very beginning, and in other places as well.Original 57 When Caroline Meeber boarded the afternoon train When Caroline Meeber boarded the afternoon train for Chicago, her total outfit consisted of a small trunk, a for Chicago, her total outfit consisted of a small trunk, a cheap imitation alligator-skin satchel, a small lunch in a cheap imitation alligator-skin satchel, a small lunch in a paper box, and a yellow leather snap purse, containing paper box, and a yellow leather snap purse, containing her ticket, a scrap of paper with her sister address in her ticket, a scrap of paper with her sister address in Van Buren Street, and four dollars in money. It was in Van Buren Street, and four dollars in money. It was in August, 1889. She was eighteen years of age, bright, August, 1889. She was eighteen years of age, bright, timid, and full of the illusions of ignorance and youth. timid, and full of the illusions of ignorance and youth. Whatever touch of regret at parting characterized her Whatever touch of regret at parting characterized her thoughts, it was certainly not for advantages now being thoughts, it was certainly not for advantages now being given up. A gush of tears at her mothers farewell kiss, a given up. A gush of tears at her mothers farewell kiss, a touch in her throat when the cars clacked by the touch in her throat when the cars clacked by the flourmill where her father worked by the day, a pathetic flourmill where her father worked by the day, a pathetic sigh as the familiar green environs of the village passed sigh as the familiar green environs of the village passed in review, and the threads which bound her so lightly to in review, and the threads which bound her so lightly to girlhood and home were irretrievably broken.girlhood and home were irretrievably broken. (From Theodore Dreiser, (From Theodore Dreiser, Sister CarrieSister Carrie) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of five sentences, of which the The selection consists of five sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, the second and the third are first is a complex sentence, the second and the third are both simple sentences and the fourth is also a complex both simple sentences and the fourth is also a complex sentence while the last is a compound complex sentence. sentence while the last is a compound complex sentence. Of the complex and compound complex sentences, the Of the complex and compound complex sentences, the first consists of an adverbial clause of time and a main first consists of an adverbial clause of time and a main clause; the fourth consists of an adverbial clause of clause; the fourth consists of an adverbial clause of concession and a main clause; and the last consists of concession and a main clause; and the last consists of four coordinate clauses, of which the first three can be four coordinate clauses, of which the first three can be understood as elliptic clause with understood as elliptic clause with there wasthere was omitted. In omitted. In the second elliptic clause, there is an adverbial clause of the second elliptic clause, there is an adverbial clause of time with an attributive clause further embedded; in the time with an attributive clause further embedded; in the third elliptic clause, there is an adverbial clause of time third elliptic clause, there is an adverbial clause of time embedded; and in the last coordinate clause, there is an embedded; and in the last coordinate clause, there is an attributive clause embedded.attributive clause embedded.(2) Additional complication： The first and the fourth sentences each begin with an adverbial clause; and the last sentence begins with three noun phrases arranged, however, in coordination with a full clause.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Overall stylistic features(2) Periodicity(3) Structural complication(4) Parallel structure(5) Cohesive device(6) Structural and lexical formality(1) Overall stylistic features: In the first sentence of the selection, there is a In the first sentence of the selection, there is a catalogue of articles consisting of the outfit of the catalogue of articles consisting of the outfit of the heroine. The phrases used for the description of the heroine. The phrases used for the description of the articles consist of 3, 6, 7, 8, 12 and 4 words, increasing articles consist of 3, 6, 7, 8, 12 and 4 words, increasing in length gradually but finally returning to 4 words in the in length gradually but finally returning to 4 words in the end. Correspondingly, the structural complication for the end. Correspondingly, the structural complication for the sentences follows almost the same pattern. For in the sentences follows almost the same pattern. For in the analysis of the last sentence, we may find the similar analysis of the last sentence, we may find the similar phenomenon. These two catalogues are quite symbolic phenomenon. These two catalogues are quite symbolic of a life starting from simplicity to complication and of a life starting from simplicity to complication and returning to simplicity again, though not to the original returning to simplicity again, though not to the original point, and the symbolism will become increasingly point, and the symbolism will become increasingly apparent as we read through the book.apparent as we read through the book.(2) Periodicity： Of the five sentences, the first is periodic in structure for the beginning with an adverbial clause of time; the second and third are simply the second and third are simply loose sentences; the fourth is periodic in loose sentences; the fourth is periodic in structure for the beginning with an adverbial structure for the beginning with an adverbial clause of concession; and the last one can be clause of concession; and the last one can be regarded as periodic in structure in that it can regarded as periodic in structure in that it can be regarded as one beginning with three be regarded as one beginning with three coordinate noun phrases. coordinate noun phrases. (3) Structural complication： Generally speaking, the structure for the selection is not very complicated except perhaps the very last sentence. (4) Parallel structures: In the selection, parallel structures are In the selection, parallel structures are frequently used, for example, frequently used, for example, a small trunka small trunk, , a a cheap imitation alligator-skin satchelcheap imitation alligator-skin satchel, , a small a small lunch in a paper boxlunch in a paper box, and , and a yellow leather snap a yellow leather snap pursepurse, , , , a scrap of papera scrap of paper , and , and four dollars four dollars in moneyin money; ; brightbright, , timidtimid, and , and full of the illusions full of the illusions of ignorance and youthof ignorance and youth; and ; and a gush of tears a gush of tears , , a touch in her throata touch in her throat , , a pathetic sigh a pathetic sigh . .(5) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are frequently used; she is used and her is repeatedly used to stand for Caroline Meeber; on the train, her outfit with its components are mentioned together with the time for departure and her age at the time; in the description of the departure, her thought, throat, tears and sigh are all described, and so on.(6) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, example, consistconsist, , imitationimitation, , containingcontaining, , ignoranceignorance, , characterizecharacterize, , advantageadvantage and so on. and so on.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 当凯萝莱茵当凯萝莱茵. .米博尔登上下午去芝加哥的火车米博尔登上下午去芝加哥的火车的时候，她的一切东西就是一个小箱子，一个廉的时候，她的一切东西就是一个小箱子，一个廉价的仿鳄鱼皮的手提包，一个小纸盒装着中餐，价的仿鳄鱼皮的手提包，一个小纸盒装着中餐，一个颜色发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票，一个小一个颜色发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票，一个小纸条，上面写着她姐姐在范纸条，上面写着她姐姐在范. .布伦街的地址，四美布伦街的地址，四美元纸币。那是元纸币。那是18891889年年8 8月，年龄月，年龄1818岁，聪明，胆岁，聪明，胆小，充满着年轻和无知的幻想。分别时有点懊悔，小，充满着年轻和无知的幻想。分别时有点懊悔，这是她的思想特点，但那肯定不是由于优势正在这是她的思想特点，但那肯定不是由于优势正在被放弃。母亲吻别时她泪如泉涌，她喉头哽咽当被放弃。母亲吻别时她泪如泉涌，她喉头哽咽当火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时，那天，她父亲火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时，那天，她父亲在面粉厂里干活，她发出一声同情的叹息当村庄在面粉厂里干活，她发出一声同情的叹息当村庄周围的熟悉的绿色景色从眼前穿过时，那些将她周围的熟悉的绿色景色从眼前穿过时，那些将她和她的童年和家连接在一起线无可挽回地断了。和她的童年和家连接在一起线无可挽回地断了。Comments: This is a word-for-word translation. However, This is a word-for-word translation. However, the translation of the first three sentences of the the translation of the first three sentences of the original is not problematic in terms of original is not problematic in terms of authenticity and readability against Chinese authenticity and readability against Chinese norms. But the translation of the last two norms. But the translation of the last two sentences of the original is troublesome in the sentences of the original is troublesome in the above-mentioned aspects. For the three nominal above-mentioned aspects. For the three nominal phrases in the last sentence are not clearly phrases in the last sentence are not clearly marked in the translation and neither is the marked in the translation and neither is the boundary between the three phrases and the full boundary between the three phrases and the full clause clearly marked. clause clearly marked. B) Translation 2: 凯萝莱茵凯萝莱茵. .米博尔登上了下午去芝加哥的火车。米博尔登上了下午去芝加哥的火车。这时，她所有的东西就是一个小箱子，一只廉价这时，她所有的东西就是一个小箱子，一只廉价的仿鳄鱼皮的手提包，一个装着中餐的小纸盒，的仿鳄鱼皮的手提包，一个装着中餐的小纸盒，一个发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票，一张写着她一个发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票，一张写着她姐姐在范姐姐在范. .布伦街上的地址的小纸条，四美元纸币。布伦街上的地址的小纸条，四美元纸币。那是那是18891889年年8 8月，她当时月，她当时1818岁，聪明，胆小，充岁，聪明，胆小，充满着年轻和无知的幻想。分别时思想上有点懊悔，满着年轻和无知的幻想。分别时思想上有点懊悔，但那肯定不是因为正在丢弃优势。母亲吻别时她但那肯定不是因为正在丢弃优势。母亲吻别时她泪如泉涌；火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时，她泪如泉涌；火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时，她喉头哽咽，那天，她父亲在面粉厂里干活；当村喉头哽咽，那天，她父亲在面粉厂里干活；当村庄周围的熟悉的绿色景色从眼前穿过时，她深情庄周围的熟悉的绿色景色从眼前穿过时，她深情地长叹一声；那些将她和她的童年与家乡连接在地长叹一声；那些将她和她的童年与家乡连接在一起线无可挽回地断了。一起线无可挽回地断了。Comments: The present translation has improved on the The present translation has improved on the previous as follows. First, the first sentence in previous as follows. First, the first sentence in the original is chopped into two sentences; the original is chopped into two sentences; second, second, 她当时她当时1818岁岁is substituted foris substituted for年龄年龄1818岁岁; ; 分别时思想上有点懊悔分别时思想上有点懊悔is substituted foris substituted for分别时有分别时有点懊悔，这是她的思想特点点懊悔，这是她的思想特点; ; 火车呼啸着从面粉火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时，她喉头哽咽厂旁边通过时，她喉头哽咽is substituted foris substituted for她喉她喉头哽咽当火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时头哽咽当火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁边通过时, and , and others; third, semi-colons are used as boundary others; third, semi-colons are used as boundary markers; and finally, the last sentence is markers; and finally, the last sentence is retranslated.retranslated.C) Translation 3: 凯萝莱茵凯萝莱茵. .米博尔登上了下午开往芝加哥的火米博尔登上了下午开往芝加哥的火车，此时，她的所有性囊就一只小箱子；一个廉车，此时，她的所有性囊就一只小箱子；一个廉价的仿鳄鱼皮手提包；一个装着中餐的小纸盒；价的仿鳄鱼皮手提包；一个装着中餐的小纸盒；一个发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票；一张小纸跳，一个发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票；一张小纸跳，上面写着她姐姐在范上面写着她姐姐在范. .布伦街上的地址；四美元纸布伦街上的地址；四美元纸币。那是币。那是18891889年年8 8月，月，1818岁，聪明胆小，年幼无岁，聪明胆小，年幼无知，充满幻想。告别时流露出丝丝悔意，但那决知，充满幻想。告别时流露出丝丝悔意，但那决不是因为离亲别友。母亲深深一吻，她泪如泉涌；不是因为离亲别友。母亲深深一吻，她泪如泉涌；火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁通过，她喉头哽咽，那时火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁通过，她喉头哽咽，那时父亲正在面粉厂干活；村庄周围绿树成荫，这熟父亲正在面粉厂干活；村庄周围绿树成荫，这熟悉的景色从眼前一闪而过，她对那可怜的农民、悉的景色从眼前一闪而过，她对那可怜的农民、可爱的农村长叹一声；千头万绪将她和童年、家可爱的农村长叹一声；千头万绪将她和童年、家乡连接在一起，现在断了，无法重新连接起来了。乡连接在一起，现在断了，无法重新连接起来了。Comments: InIn the present translation, to substitute for the the present translation, to substitute for the previous parts, employed are the new typical previous parts, employed are the new typical Chinese expressions as follows: Chinese expressions as follows: 1818岁，聪明胆小，岁，聪明胆小，年幼无知，充满幻想年幼无知，充满幻想; ; 告别时流露出丝丝悔意，告别时流露出丝丝悔意，但那决不是因为离亲别友但那决不是因为离亲别友. In addition, in the . In addition, in the following, wordings are renewed: following, wordings are renewed: 母亲深深一吻，母亲深深一吻，她泪如泉涌她泪如泉涌；火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁通过，她喉火车呼啸着从面粉厂旁通过，她喉头哽咽，那时父亲正在面粉厂干活头哽咽，那时父亲正在面粉厂干活；村庄周围绿村庄周围绿树成荫，这熟悉的景色从眼前一跃而过，她对那树成荫，这熟悉的景色从眼前一跃而过，她对那可爱的农民、可怜的农村长叹一声可爱的农民、可怜的农村长叹一声；千头万绪将千头万绪将她和童年、家乡连接在一起，现在断了，无法再她和童年、家乡连接在一起，现在断了，无法再接起来了接起来了. . Comments (continued):And at the very beginning, semi-colons are also And at the very beginning, semi-colons are also applied and some phrases are reworded: applied and some phrases are reworded: 此此时，她的所有性囊时，她的所有性囊 就一只小箱子就一只小箱子；一个廉价的仿一个廉价的仿鳄鱼皮手提包鳄鱼皮手提包；一个装着中餐的小纸盒一个装着中餐的小纸盒；一个发一个发黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票黄的皮夹，里面装着火车票；一张小纸跳，上面一张小纸跳，上面写着她姐姐在范写着她姐姐在范. .布伦街上的地址布伦街上的地址；四美元纸币四美元纸币Consequently, the translation sounds more Consequently, the translation sounds more readable, coherent and authentic though readable, coherent and authentic though irrespective of the original occasionally.irrespective of the original occasionally.Original 58 Minnies flat, as the one-floor resident apartments Minnies flat, as the one-floor resident apartments were then being called, was a part of West Van Buren were then being called, was a part of West Van Buren Street inhabited by families of laborers and clerks, men Street inhabited by families of laborers and clerks, men who had come, and were still coming, with the rush of who had come, and were still coming, with the rush of population pouring in at the rate of 50,000 a year. It was population pouring in at the rate of 50,000 a year. It was on the third floor, the front windows looking down into on the third floor, the front windows looking down into the street, where, at night, the lights of grocery stores the street, where, at night, the lights of grocery stores were shining and children were playing. To Carrie, the were shining and children were playing. To Carrie, the sound of the little bells upon the horse-cars, as they sound of the little bells upon the horse-cars, as they tinkled in and out of hearing, was as pleasing as it was tinkled in and out of hearing, was as pleasing as it was novel. She gazed into the lighted street when Minnie novel. She gazed into the lighted street when Minnie brought her into the front room, and wondered at the brought her into the front room, and wondered at the sounds, the movement, the murmur of the vast city sounds, the movement, the murmur of the vast city which stretched for miles and miles in every direction.which stretched for miles and miles in every direction. (From Theodore Dreiser, (From Theodore Dreiser, Sister CarrieSister Carrie) )1 Analysis of the original:A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of four sentences, of which the The selection consists of four sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and an attributive clause at the end of the sentence, but and an attributive clause at the end of the sentence, but with an adverbial clause of reason located between the with an adverbial clause of reason located between the subject and the predicate of the main clause. The subject and the predicate of the main clause. The second is a complex sentence, consists of a main clause second is a complex sentence, consists of a main clause and an absolute nominal construction with an attributive and an absolute nominal construction with an attributive clause embedded at the end of the sentence. The third clause embedded at the end of the sentence. The third is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and is a complex sentence, composed of a main clause and an adverbial clause of reason with an adverbial clause of an adverbial clause of reason with an adverbial clause of time embedded between the subject and the predicate time embedded between the subject and the predicate of the main clause. The last is again a complex of the main clause. The last is again a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause with two sentence, consisting of a main clause with two predicates, in the first of which, there is an adverbial predicates, in the first of which, there is an adverbial clause of time; and in the second of which, there is an clause of time; and in the second of which, there is an attributive clause. attributive clause. (2) Additional complication： In the first sentence, the adverbial clause of reason is In the first sentence, the adverbial clause of reason is embedded as a parenthesis; in the second sentence, embedded as a parenthesis; in the second sentence, there is an absolute nominal construction with there is an absolute nominal construction with at nightat night embedded as a parenthesis; and in the third sentence, embedded as a parenthesis; and in the third sentence, which begins with a prepositional phrase, the adverbial which begins with a prepositional phrase, the adverbial clause of time is embedded as a parenthesis, and so clause of time is embedded as a parenthesis, and so the the sound of the was as pleasing as it was novelsound of the was as pleasing as it was novel is cut off is cut off by the parenthesis as by the parenthesis as they tinkled in and out of hearingthey tinkled in and out of hearing. . In the last sentence, In the last sentence, she gazed into and wondered at she gazed into and wondered at the sounds,the sounds, is cut off by is cut off by when Minnie brought her into when Minnie brought her into the front roomthe front room, and so the adverbial clause can be , and so the adverbial clause can be regarded as an implicit parenthesis.regarded as an implicit parenthesis.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： Of the four sentences, only the last is a loose Of the four sentences, only the last is a loose sentence while the other three are all periodic sentence while the other three are all periodic ones, though for different reasons. Specifically ones, though for different reasons. Specifically speaking, the first sentence has an adverbial speaking, the first sentence has an adverbial clause of reason embedded as a parenthesis; clause of reason embedded as a parenthesis; the second sentence has the second sentence has at nightat night embedded as embedded as a parenthesis; the third sentence begins with a a parenthesis; the third sentence begins with a prepositional phrase and has an adverbial clause prepositional phrase and has an adverbial clause embedded as a parenthesis. embedded as a parenthesis. (2) Structural complication： The first sentence has a parenthetic structure located The first sentence has a parenthetic structure located between the subject and the predicate of the main between the subject and the predicate of the main clause; the second has a parenthetic structure located clause; the second has a parenthetic structure located after the conjunctionafter the conjunction where where; the third begins with a ; the third begins with a prepositional phrase and had a parenthetic structure prepositional phrase and had a parenthetic structure located between the subject and the predicate of the located between the subject and the predicate of the sentence. Of the four sentences, the first is the longest sentence. Of the four sentences, the first is the longest and the last is the second longest, with the two in the and the last is the second longest, with the two in the middle shorter than them, showing that the selection is middle shorter than them, showing that the selection is varying in length in terms of sentence.varying in length in terms of sentence.(3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures are used, for example, laborers and clerks; had come, and were still coming; the lights of grocery stores were shining and children were playing; in and out; and gazed into the lighted street, and wondered at the sounds, the movement, the murmur of the vast city .(4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; Minnie is repeated; she and her are repeatedly used to stand for Carrie; flat, floor and apartment are semantically related; floor and street are repeated; and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, resident, apartment, inhabit, population, pleasing, novel, movement, and others. 2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 米尼的平房，因为只有一层楼的居民住房当米尼的平房，因为只有一层楼的居民住房当时都是那么叫的，是西范时都是那么叫的，是西范. .布伦街的一部分，是体布伦街的一部分，是体力劳动者和店员家庭居住的，人们已经来了和还力劳动者和店员家庭居住的，人们已经来了和还正在来，人口暴涨，以每年正在来，人口暴涨，以每年5 5万人的速度往里涌。万人的速度往里涌。房子在三楼上，前面的窗户对着街，街上夜里杂房子在三楼上，前面的窗户对着街，街上夜里杂货店的灯光闪耀，孩子们在玩耍。对凯莉来说，货店的灯光闪耀，孩子们在玩耍。对凯莉来说，马车上的小铃铛的响声，这些铃铛叮叮当当地来马车上的小铃铛的响声，这些铃铛叮叮当当地来了，叮叮当当地走了，由于是新东西，而让人愉了，叮叮当当地走了，由于是新东西，而让人愉悦。她凝视着灯火通明的街道当米尼将她带进前悦。她凝视着灯火通明的街道当米尼将她带进前房的时候，她好奇地听着声音、看着来来往往，房的时候，她好奇地听着声音、看着来来往往，听着这个大城市的悄悄话语，这个大城市向每个听着这个大城市的悄悄话语，这个大城市向每个方向延伸好几英里。方向延伸好几英里。Comments: Faced with such a selection, attention should be Faced with such a selection, attention should be particularly paid to the translation of the parenthetic and particularly paid to the translation of the parenthetic and subordinate structures, especially to the necessary subordinate structures, especially to the necessary fronting. In our translation, however, parenthetic and fronting. In our translation, however, parenthetic and subordinate structures are not translated in accordance subordinate structures are not translated in accordance with Chinese norms. For example, with Chinese norms. For example, 因为只有一层楼的居因为只有一层楼的居民住房当时都是那么叫的民住房当时都是那么叫的, a parenthetic structure in the , a parenthetic structure in the original, and original, and 当米尼将她带进前房的时候当米尼将她带进前房的时候, a subordinate , a subordinate clause in the original, should be fronted in accordance clause in the original, should be fronted in accordance with the Chinese norms. In addition, with the Chinese norms. In addition, 孩子们在耍孩子们在耍andand看着看着来来往往来来往往are not meaningfully complete, though are not meaningfully complete, though nowadays, such expressions could occasionally be nowadays, such expressions could occasionally be witnessed.witnessed.B) Translation 2: 当时一家人住在居民楼的某一层的居室称为平房，米当时一家人住在居民楼的某一层的居室称为平房，米尼的平房是西范尼的平房是西范. .布伦街的一部分，是体力劳动者和店员布伦街的一部分，是体力劳动者和店员家庭居住的，有些人已经来了，有些人还正在来，以每年家庭居住的，有些人已经来了，有些人还正在来，以每年5 5万人的速度往里涌，使人口激增。房子在三楼上，前窗万人的速度往里涌，使人口激增。房子在三楼上，前窗对着街道，夜里街上杂货店的灯光闪耀，孩子们在玩耍。对着街道，夜里街上杂货店的灯光闪耀，孩子们在玩耍。马车上的小铃铛，叮叮当当地来了，叮叮当当地走了，这马车上的小铃铛，叮叮当当地来了，叮叮当当地走了，这些铃声，对凯莉来说，由于是新东西，而让人愉悦。当米些铃声，对凯莉来说，由于是新东西，而让人愉悦。当米尼将她领进前房的时候，她凝视着灯火通明的街道，好奇尼将她领进前房的时候，她凝视着灯火通明的街道，好奇地听着声音、看着来往行人，听着这个大城市的悄悄话语，地听着声音、看着来往行人，听着这个大城市的悄悄话语，这个大城市向每个方向都延伸好几英里。这个大城市向每个方向都延伸好几英里。Comments: In the present translation, the above-mentioned weak points are eliminated. However, readjustments could be further made so that the translation could sound more like Chinese. For example, such translation as马车上的小铃铛，叮叮当当地来了，叮叮当当地走了may lead us to think that it is the bells that come and go.C) Translation 3: 当时只有一层楼的居室称为平房，米尼的平当时只有一层楼的居室称为平房，米尼的平房就在西范房就在西范. .布伦街，是劳工和店员住宅区，已经布伦街，是劳工和店员住宅区，已经住了好多人，有些人还正在往里来，每年涌进住了好多人，有些人还正在往里来，每年涌进5 5万万人，人口急剧增加。房子在三楼上，前窗对着街人，人口急剧增加。房子在三楼上，前窗对着街道，入夜，杂货店灯光闪烁，孩子们在街上玩耍。道，入夜，杂货店灯光闪烁，孩子们在街上玩耍。马车来来往往，小铃铛叮叮当当，这些铃声，对马车来来往往，小铃铛叮叮当当，这些铃声，对凯莉来说，是新东西，让她愉悦。她跟着米尼走凯莉来说，是新东西，让她愉悦。她跟着米尼走进前房，凝视着灯火通明的街道，好奇地听着城进前房，凝视着灯火通明的街道，好奇地听着城市的喧嚣，听着城市的悄悄话语，看着街道上熙市的喧嚣，听着城市的悄悄话语，看着街道上熙熙攘攘的人流。大城市很大，四通八达，哪条街熙攘攘的人流。大城市很大，四通八达，哪条街都有好几英里。都有好几英里。Comments: In the present translation, all parts sound more like Chinese now, though in some cases, irrespective of the original structures. For example, in the last but one sentence of the translation, the adverbial clause of the original has disappeared. Instead, a series of actions are now arranged one after another.Original 59 In addition to this forest of family trees, Mr. Sillerton In addition to this forest of family trees, Mr. Sillerton Jackson carried between his narrow hollow temples, and Jackson carried between his narrow hollow temples, and under his soft thatch of silver hair, a register of most of under his soft thatch of silver hair, a register of most of the scandals and mysteries that had smouldered under the scandals and mysteries that had smouldered under the unruffled surface of New York society within the last the unruffled surface of New York society within the last fifty years. So far indeed did his information extend, and fifty years. So far indeed did his information extend, and so acutely retentive was his memory, that he was so acutely retentive was his memory, that he was supposed to be the only man who could have told you supposed to be the only man who could have told you who Julius Beaufort, the banker, really was, and what who Julius Beaufort, the banker, really was, and what had become of handsome Bob Spicer, old Mrs. Manson had become of handsome Bob Spicer, old Mrs. Manson Mingotts father, who had disappeared so mysteriously Mingotts father, who had disappeared so mysteriously (with a large sum of trust money) less than a year after (with a large sum of trust money) less than a year after his marriage, on the very day that a beautiful Spanish his marriage, on the very day that a beautiful Spanish dancer who had been delighting thronged audiences in dancer who had been delighting thronged audiences in the old Opera-house on the Battery had taken ship for the old Opera-house on the Battery had taken ship for Cuba.Cuba. (From Edith Wharton, (From Edith Wharton, The Age of InnocenceThe Age of Innocence) )1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of two sentences, of The selection consists of two sentences, of which the first is a complex sentence, consisting which the first is a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause and an attributive clause. The of a main clause and an attributive clause. The second is also a complex sentence, consisting of second is also a complex sentence, consisting of a main clause, which in turn is composed of two a main clause, which in turn is composed of two coordinate clauses, and an adverbial clause of coordinate clauses, and an adverbial clause of result. In the adverbial clause of result, there is result. In the adverbial clause of result, there is an attributive clause, in which there are two an attributive clause, in which there are two coordinate object clauses, and in the second coordinate object clauses, and in the second object clause, there is an attributive clause, in object clause, there is an attributive clause, in which there is still another attributive clause, which there is still another attributive clause, which in turn contains still another attributive which in turn contains still another attributive clause.clause.(2) Additional complication： The first sentence begins with a prepositional The first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase and the predicate verb and its object of phrase and the predicate verb and its object of the main clause of the sentence are cut off by the main clause of the sentence are cut off by two coordinate prepositional phrases, beginning two coordinate prepositional phrases, beginning with with betweenbetween and and underunder respectively, of which respectively, of which the second looks like a parenthesis. And the the second looks like a parenthesis. And the subject and the predicate verb phrase of the subject and the predicate verb phrase of the second sentence are partially inverted and the second sentence are partially inverted and the sentence is structured in the pattern of sentence is structured in the pattern of so so thatthat. Also in the second sentence, . Also in the second sentence, the bankerthe banker and and old Mrs. Manson Mingotts fatherold Mrs. Manson Mingotts father are are parentheses with still another parenthesis parentheses with still another parenthesis embedded in the brackets.embedded in the brackets.B) Stylistic analysis：(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： In the selection, the two sentences are both periodic, though in different ways. The first sentence begins with a prepositional phrase and the second sentence has its main clause in inverted order in addition to the parentheses, two between the commas and the other in the brackets.(2) Structural complication： The two sentences are grammatically complicated, with the second more complicated than the first.(3) Parallel structure： In the selection, parallel structures could be found, for example, between his narrow hollow temples, and under his soft thatch of silver hair; scandals and mysteries; so far indeed did his information extend, and so acutely retentive was his memory; and who Julius Beaufort, the banker, really was, and what had become of handsome Bob Spicer, old Mrs. Manson Mingotts father, . (4) Cohesive device： In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; he is repeated and his is repeatedly used to stand for Mr. Sillerton Jackson; his in the late part of the last sentence is used to refer to Bob Spicer; the details after the fourth line are all about Mr. Jacksons information and memory, and so on. (5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are frequently used, for nominalizations, are frequently used, for example, example, additionaddition, , scandalscandal, , mysterymystery, , smouldersmoulder, , unruffledunruffled, , surfacesurface, , informationinformation, , extendextend, , retentiveretentive, , memorymemory, , supposesuppose, , disappeardisappear, , mysteriouslymysteriously, , marriagemarriage, and others., and others.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: 除了这个长满家庭树的森林之外除了这个长满家庭树的森林之外, , 希勒尔顿希勒尔顿. .杰克逊先生在他的两个狭长而空空的太阳穴之间，杰克逊先生在他的两个狭长而空空的太阳穴之间，在他的由银发搭盖的软软的草屋之下，装载着记在他的由银发搭盖的软软的草屋之下，装载着记录薄，记载着五十年来为表面上平静而毫无涟漪录薄，记载着五十年来为表面上平静而毫无涟漪的纽约社会所掩盖的多数丑闻和秘而不宣之事。的纽约社会所掩盖的多数丑闻和秘而不宣之事。他的信息如此的宽广，他的记忆力如此的旺盛，他的信息如此的宽广，他的记忆力如此的旺盛，以致于人们认为，他是唯一的能告诉你这些信息以致于人们认为，他是唯一的能告诉你这些信息的人。大银行家莒里阿斯的人。大银行家莒里阿斯. .彼尤福特是谁，是什么彼尤福特是谁，是什么缘故使得潇洒英俊的波布缘故使得潇洒英俊的波布. .斯巴瑟尔、可怜的曼森斯巴瑟尔、可怜的曼森. .闵戈特夫人的父亲，结婚还不到一年就无缘无故闵戈特夫人的父亲，结婚还不到一年就无缘无故地（带着一大笔公司的钱）消失了。消失的那天，地（带着一大笔公司的钱）消失了。消失的那天，一位漂亮的西班牙舞女在位于巴特利的大剧院里一位漂亮的西班牙舞女在位于巴特利的大剧院里吸引了大批大批的观众，然后乘船到古巴去了。吸引了大批大批的观众，然后乘船到古巴去了。Comments: In the above translation, the translator has In the above translation, the translator has deliberately strictly followed the original both deliberately strictly followed the original both lexically and structurally, though with some fine lexically and structurally, though with some fine structural readjustments made, especially as the structural readjustments made, especially as the translating goes into the second sentence. translating goes into the second sentence. Consequently, expressions difficult to understand Consequently, expressions difficult to understand or rather, wrongly translated can be found here or rather, wrongly translated can be found here and there, for example, and there, for example, 长满家庭树的森林长满家庭树的森林; ; 由银由银发搭盖的软软的草屋发搭盖的软软的草屋; ; 装载着记录薄装载着记录薄, and others, , and others, although readjustments are made when although readjustments are made when 五十年五十年来为表面上平静而毫无涟漪的纽约社会所掩盖的来为表面上平静而毫无涟漪的纽约社会所掩盖的is fronted; is fronted; 这些信息的这些信息的is added; is added; 消失的那天消失的那天is is repeated, and so on.repeated, and so on.B) Translation 2: 除了许多家谱之外，在希勒尔顿除了许多家谱之外，在希勒尔顿. .杰克逊先生杰克逊先生两个狭长的太阳穴之间，在他那蓬乱的银发之下，两个狭长的太阳穴之间，在他那蓬乱的银发之下，有一个记忆箱，里面装着近五十年来为平淡无奇有一个记忆箱，里面装着近五十年来为平淡无奇的纽约社会所遮盖的大多数丑闻和秘不可宣之事。的纽约社会所遮盖的大多数丑闻和秘不可宣之事。他的信息来源无比宽广，他的记忆力如此惊人，他的信息来源无比宽广，他的记忆力如此惊人，以致于人们认为，他是唯一能告诉你这些信息的以致于人们认为，他是唯一能告诉你这些信息的人。例如，银行家莒里阿斯人。例如，银行家莒里阿斯. .彼尤福特是个什么样彼尤福特是个什么样的人，可怜的曼森的人，可怜的曼森. .闵戈特夫人的父亲、英俊潇洒闵戈特夫人的父亲、英俊潇洒的波布的波布. .斯巴瑟尔，为什么结婚还不到一年就带着斯巴瑟尔，为什么结婚还不到一年就带着一大笔公司的钱奇迹般地消失了。那天，一位漂一大笔公司的钱奇迹般地消失了。那天，一位漂亮的西班牙舞女在位于巴特利的大剧院里演出，亮的西班牙舞女在位于巴特利的大剧院里演出，观众蜂拥而至，演出一结束，她就乘船到古巴去观众蜂拥而至，演出一结束，她就乘船到古巴去了。了。Comments: The present translation has improved on the The present translation has improved on the previous with regard to the weak points previous with regard to the weak points mentioned in the above comments in addition to mentioned in the above comments in addition to other points. For example, the translation of the other points. For example, the translation of the second original sentence now takes the form like second original sentence now takes the form like this:this:他是唯一能告诉你这些信息的人。例如，他是唯一能告诉你这些信息的人。例如，银行家莒里阿斯银行家莒里阿斯. .彼尤福特是个什么样的人，可怜彼尤福特是个什么样的人，可怜的曼森的曼森. .闵戈特夫人的父亲、英俊潇洒的波布闵戈特夫人的父亲、英俊潇洒的波布. .斯斯巴瑟尔，为什么结婚还不到一年就带着一大笔公巴瑟尔，为什么结婚还不到一年就带着一大笔公司的钱奇迹般地消失了。那天，一位漂亮的西班司的钱奇迹般地消失了。那天，一位漂亮的西班牙舞女在位于巴特利的大剧院里演出，观众蜂拥牙舞女在位于巴特利的大剧院里演出，观众蜂拥而至，演出一结束，她就乘船到古巴去了而至，演出一结束，她就乘船到古巴去了. . However, the presence of However, the presence of 家谱家谱in the context still in the context still looks incongruous.looks incongruous.C) Translation 3: 希勒尔顿希勒尔顿. .杰克逊先生的两个太阳穴间的面颊杰克逊先生的两个太阳穴间的面颊狭长、干瘪，一头银发，松软蓬乱。但人不可貌狭长、干瘪，一头银发，松软蓬乱。但人不可貌相。他能说清各个家族的来龙去脉，他那两个太相。他能说清各个家族的来龙去脉，他那两个太阳穴之间、在银发之下的脑海里还装着近五十年阳穴之间、在银发之下的脑海里还装着近五十年来的秘闻轶事。这些秘闻轶事深埋在平淡无奇的来的秘闻轶事。这些秘闻轶事深埋在平淡无奇的纽约的红尘琐事之间，鲜为人知。他消息灵通，纽约的红尘琐事之间，鲜为人知。他消息灵通，记忆过人，人们都认为，他是唯一能散布这些消记忆过人，人们都认为，他是唯一能散布这些消息的人。例如，银行家莒里阿斯息的人。例如，银行家莒里阿斯. .彼尤福特的身世彼尤福特的身世如何、为人怎样，可怜的曼森如何、为人怎样，可怜的曼森. .闵戈特夫人的父亲、闵戈特夫人的父亲、英俊潇洒的波布英俊潇洒的波布. .斯巴瑟尔，为什么结婚还不到一斯巴瑟尔，为什么结婚还不到一年就携带公司巨款消失得不知所之了。那天，一年就携带公司巨款消失得不知所之了。那天，一位漂亮的西班牙舞女曾在位于巴特利的大剧院里位漂亮的西班牙舞女曾在位于巴特利的大剧院里演出，观众蜂拥而至，演出一结束，她就乘船奔演出，观众蜂拥而至，演出一结束，她就乘船奔古巴去了。二者有无关联？古巴去了。二者有无关联？Comments: To some extent, the present translation can To some extent, the present translation can be considered as a kind of rewriting, for the be considered as a kind of rewriting, for the information contained in the prepositional information contained in the prepositional phrase at the very beginning is pushed further phrase at the very beginning is pushed further back and the information of the first sentence of back and the information of the first sentence of the original is reorganized drastically. In the original is reorganized drastically. In addition, addition, 人不可貌相人不可貌相; ; 鲜为人知鲜为人知; ; 二者有无关联二者有无关联, , and others are seemingly unjustifiable insertions. and others are seemingly unjustifiable insertions. However, it is undeniable that such expressions However, it is undeniable that such expressions as as this forest of family treesthis forest of family trees, , a registera register, , mysteriouslymysteriously and so on, are duly made explicit in and so on, are duly made explicit in the translation, and the wording of the the translation, and the wording of the translation on the whole sounds more authentic translation on the whole sounds more authentic to the Chinese ear.to the Chinese ear.Original 60 “Tom!” “Tom!” No answer. No answer. “Tom!” “Tom!” No answer. No answer. “Whats gone with that boy, I wonder? You, TOM!” “Whats gone with that boy, I wonder? You, TOM!” The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them The old lady pulled her spectacles down and looked over them about the room; then she put them up and looked out under them. about the room; then she put them up and looked out under them. She seldom or never looked She seldom or never looked throughthrough them for so small a thing as a them for so small a thing as a boy; they were her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built boy; they were her state pair, the pride of her heart, and were built for “style,” not service for “style,” not service she could have seen through a pair of she could have seen through a pair of stove lids just as well. She looked perplexed for a moment, and then stove lids just as well. She looked perplexed for a moment, and then said, not fiercely, but still loud enough for the furniture to hear.said, not fiercely, but still loud enough for the furniture to hear. (From Mark Twain, (From Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom SawyerThe Adventures of Tom Sawyer) )1 Analysis of the original：A) Grammatical analysisB) Stylistic analysisA) Grammatical analysis:(1) Sentence structure(2) Additional complication(1) Sentence structure： The selection consists of two direct The selection consists of two direct speeches, and three stretches of narration, of speeches, and three stretches of narration, of which two are noun phrases. The first direct which two are noun phrases. The first direct speech is composed of a vocative while the speech is composed of a vocative while the second is composed of a question and a second is composed of a question and a vocative. The third stretch of narration consists vocative. The third stretch of narration consists of three sentences, of which the first is of three sentences, of which the first is compound in structure, composed of two compound in structure, composed of two coordinate clauses connected by a semi-colon; coordinate clauses connected by a semi-colon; the second sentence is also compound in the second sentence is also compound in structure, consisting of three coordinate structure, consisting of three coordinate clauses; and the last is a simple sentence.clauses; and the last is a simple sentence.(2) Additional complication: The additional structural complication, if any, lies in the third stretch of the narration whose second sentence contains a dash and the third sentence has not fiercely embedded as a parenthesis.B) Stylistic analysis:(1) Periodicity(2) Structural complication(3) Parallel structure(4) Cohesive device(5) Structural and lexical formality(1) Periodicity： All the sentences, including the direct speeches, are loose in structure, except for the last sentence of the third stretch of narration, which has not fiercely embedded as a parenthesis. (2) Structural complication： All the sentences are not structurally complicated except for the last one in the third stretch of narration, which has not fiercely embedded as a parenthesis. (3) Parallel structure： Parallel structures could be found, for Parallel structures could be found, for example, example, pulled her spectacles downpulled her spectacles down and and looked over them about the roomlooked over them about the room; and ; and put put them upthem up and and looked out under themlooked out under them; ; seldomseldom or or nevernever; ; her state pairher state pair and and the pride of her heartthe pride of her heart; ; for “style,”for “style,” not servicenot service and and not fiercelynot fiercely, , but still but still loud enoughloud enough. . (4) Cohesive device: In terms of cohesive device, examples could be found as follows: parallel structures are used; Tom, no answer, she, the old lady and looked are repeated; them is repeated and they is used to stand for spectacles, and so on.(5) Structural and lexical formality： Structurally, the selection is formal in that the sentences it is composed of are grammatically complete and free from colloquial structures. Lexically, formal words, including nominalizations, are used, for example, spectacle, service, perplexed, moment and furniture.2) Staged translation:A) Translation 1 with commentsB) Translation 2 with commentsC) Translation 3 with commentsA) Translation 1: “ “汤姆！汤姆！” ” 没有回答。没有回答。 “ “汤姆！汤姆！” ” 没有回答。没有回答。 “ “这孩子出了什么事？我想。你，这孩子出了什么事？我想。你，汤姆汤姆汤姆汤姆！” ” 那位老妇人拉下眼镜，从眼镜上方在房子里到处看；那位老妇人拉下眼镜，从眼镜上方在房子里到处看；然后她又将眼镜推上去，从眼镜底下看。她很少甚至从来然后她又将眼镜推上去，从眼镜底下看。她很少甚至从来不透过眼镜看像孩子那么小的一个东西；这是她的齐整的不透过眼镜看像孩子那么小的一个东西；这是她的齐整的一对，是她的心的骄傲，而且建成是为了一对，是她的心的骄傲，而且建成是为了“ “风格风格” ”的，的， 不是服务的不是服务的透过一对炉子的盖子来看东西，对她来说透过一对炉子的盖子来看东西，对她来说也是一样的。有一段时间，她看上去迷惑不解，然后说，也是一样的。有一段时间，她看上去迷惑不解，然后说，不是特别的刺耳，但也大到能使家具听得见。不是特别的刺耳，但也大到能使家具听得见。Comments: It seems that the above selection is simple It seems that the above selection is simple enough without any structural or verbal enough without any structural or verbal complexity. However, whoever comes to such complexity. However, whoever comes to such wording aswording as这是她的齐整的一对这是她的齐整的一对，是她的心的骄是她的心的骄傲傲，而且建成是为了而且建成是为了“ “风格风格” ”的的， 不是服务的不是服务的透过一对炉子的盖子来看东西，对她来说也是透过一对炉子的盖子来看东西，对她来说也是一样的一样的 will certainly feel puzzled, and the puzzle will certainly feel puzzled, and the puzzle shows that there must be some shows that there must be some misunderstanding of the original or some misunderstanding of the original or some wording that has missed the point. wording that has missed the point. B) Translation 2: “ “汤姆！汤姆！” ” 没人理。没人理。 “ “汤姆！汤姆！” ” 没人睬。没人睬。 “ “我看，这孩子怕是出了什么事？你，我看，这孩子怕是出了什么事？你，汤姆汤姆汤姆汤姆！” ” 那位老妇人拉下眼镜，眼睛从眼镜上方到处搜索；然那位老妇人拉下眼镜，眼睛从眼镜上方到处搜索；然后又将眼镜推上去，眼睛从眼镜底下找。她很少甚至从来后又将眼镜推上去，眼睛从眼镜底下找。她很少甚至从来不透过眼镜看像孩子那么小的东西；眼镜是她场面上的伙不透过眼镜看像孩子那么小的东西；眼镜是她场面上的伙伴，是内心的骄傲，是伴，是内心的骄傲，是“ “摆谱摆谱” ”的，的， 不是实用的不是实用的刚刚才，透过一对炉盖来看，也是一样的。她迷惑了一会，又才，透过一对炉盖来看，也是一样的。她迷惑了一会，又说起来了，不是特别的刺耳，但也能使家具听见。说起来了，不是特别的刺耳，但也能使家具听见。Comments: The present translation has improved on the The present translation has improved on the previous whenprevious when眼镜是她场面的上伙伴眼镜是她场面的上伙伴，是内心的是内心的骄傲骄傲，是是“ “摆谱摆谱” ”的的， 不是实用的不是实用的刚才，透刚才，透过一对炉盖来看，也是一样的过一对炉盖来看，也是一样的。她迷惑了一会她迷惑了一会, is substituted for the previous part, and is substituted for the previous part, and on the whole the present translation is much on the whole the present translation is much more readable. However, such expressions asmore readable. However, such expressions as没没人理人理andand没人睬没人睬 suggest that the boy must be in suggest that the boy must be in the room. But with the selection standing here the room. But with the selection standing here alone without any additional contextual clue, we alone without any additional contextual clue, we may not be sure whether the boy is in or not.may not be sure whether the boy is in or not.C) Translation 3: “ “汤姆！汤姆！” ” 没人应。没人应。 “ “汤姆！汤姆！” ” 还是没人应。还是没人应。 “ “我看，这孩子怕是出了事了？喊你呢，我看，这孩子怕是出了事了？喊你呢，汤姆汤姆汤姆汤姆！” ” 老妇人朝下拉了拉眼镜，两只眼睛从眼镜的上方搜索老妇人朝下拉了拉眼镜，两只眼睛从眼镜的上方搜索房间；然后又将眼镜朝上推了推，两只眼睛从眼镜的下方房间；然后又将眼镜朝上推了推，两只眼睛从眼镜的下方搜索房间。她很少甚至从来不透过眼镜寻找像孩子那么无搜索房间。她很少甚至从来不透过眼镜寻找像孩子那么无足轻重的东西；眼镜是场面上用的，有了它就感到有身份。足轻重的东西；眼镜是场面上用的，有了它就感到有身份。那是那是“ “摆谱摆谱” ”用的，用的， 不是找东西的不是找东西的刚才，如果透过刚才，如果透过炉盖来寻找，也是一样的。她弄不清楚是怎么回事，于是炉盖来寻找，也是一样的。她弄不清楚是怎么回事，于是又喊起来了，声音不是特别刺耳，但也能使死木头听到。又喊起来了，声音不是特别刺耳，但也能使死木头听到。Comments: The present translation has improved on the The present translation has improved on the previous in a great many places. For example, previous in a great many places. For example, 没人应没人应or or 还是没人应还是没人应is substituted foris substituted for没人理没人理oror没没人睬人睬；将眼镜朝下拉了拉将眼镜朝下拉了拉; ; 将眼镜朝上推了推将眼镜朝上推了推; ; 两两只眼睛从眼镜上方搜索只眼睛从眼镜上方搜索; ; 两只眼睛从眼镜下方搜两只眼睛从眼镜下方搜索索; ; 感到有身份感到有身份; ; 她弄不清是怎么回事，于是又喊她弄不清是怎么回事，于是又喊起来了起来了and others are now used as substitutes and others are now used as substitutes for the previous parts. Consequently, the for the previous parts. Consequently, the translation sounds more authentic and readable.translation sounds more authentic and readable.Exercises 56: A red-faced man, slamming the cabin door behind A red-faced man, slamming the cabin door behind him and stumping out on the deck, interrupted my him and stumping out on the deck, interrupted my reflections, though I made a mental note of the topic for reflections, though I made a mental note of the topic for use in a projected essay which I had thought of calling use in a projected essay which I had thought of calling “The Necessity for Freedom: A Plea for the Artist.” The “The Necessity for Freedom: A Plea for the Artist.” The red-faced man shot a glance up at the pilothouse, gazed red-faced man shot a glance up at the pilothouse, gazed around at the fog, stumped across the deck and back around at the fog, stumped across the deck and back (he evidently had artificial legs), and stood still by my (he evidently had artificial legs), and stood still by my side, legs wide apart, and with an expression of keen side, legs wide apart, and with an expression of keen enjoyment on his face. I was not wrong when I decided enjoyment on his face. I was not wrong when I decided that his days had been spent on the sea.that his days had been spent on the sea. (From Jack London, (From Jack London, The Sea WolfThe Sea Wolf) )Exercise 57: To be sure there was always the next station, To be sure there was always the next station, where one might descend and return. There was where one might descend and return. There was great city, bound more closely by these very great city, bound more closely by these very trains which came up daily. Columbia City was trains which came up daily. Columbia City was not so very far away, even once she was in not so very far away, even once she was in Chicago. What, pray, is a few hours Chicago. What, pray, is a few hours a few a few hundred miles? She looked at the little slip hundred miles? She looked at the little slip bearing her sisters address and wondered. She bearing her sisters address and wondered. She gazed at the green landscape, now passing in gazed at the green landscape, now passing in swift review, until her swifter thoughts replaced swift review, until her swifter thoughts replaced its impression with vague conjectures of what its impression with vague conjectures of what Chicago might be.Chicago might be. ( (From Theodore Dreiser, From Theodore Dreiser, Sister CarrieSister Carrie) )Exercise 58: Mrs. Henson, after the first greetings were Mrs. Henson, after the first greetings were over, gave Carrie the baby and proceeded to get over, gave Carrie the baby and proceeded to get supper. Her husband asked a few questions and supper. Her husband asked a few questions and sat down to read the evening paper. He was a sat down to read the evening paper. He was a silent man, American born, of a Swede father, silent man, American born, of a Swede father, and now employed as a cleaner of refrigerator and now employed as a cleaner of refrigerator cars at the stockyards. To him the presence or cars at the stockyards. To him the presence or absence of his wifes sister was a matter of absence of his wifes sister was a matter of indifference. Her personal appearance did not indifference. Her personal appearance did not affect him one way or the other. His one affect him one way or the other. His one observation to the point was concerning the observation to the point was concerning the chances of work in Chicago.chances of work in Chicago. ( (From Theodore Dreiser, From Theodore Dreiser, Sister CarrieSister Carrie) )Exercise 59 It was Madame Nilssons first appearance that winter, It was Madame Nilssons first appearance that winter, and what the daily press had already learned to describe and what the daily press had already learned to describe as “an exceptionally brilliant audience” had gathered to as “an exceptionally brilliant audience” had gathered to hear her, transported through the slippery, snowy streets hear her, transported through the slippery, snowy streets in private broughams, in spacious family landau, or in in private broughams, in spacious family landau, or in the humbler but more convenient “Brown the humbler but more convenient “Brown coupcoup .” To .” To come to the Opera in a Browncome to the Opera in a Brown coup coup was almost as was almost as honorable a way of arriving as in ones own carriage; honorable a way of arriving as in ones own carriage; and departure by the same means had the immense and departure by the same means had the immense advantage of enabling one (with a playful allusion to advantage of enabling one (with a playful allusion to democratic principles) to scramble into the first Brown democratic principles) to scramble into the first Brown conveyance in line, instead of waiting till the cold-and-conveyance in line, instead of waiting till the cold-and-gin congested nose of ones own coachman gleamed gin congested nose of ones own coachman gleamed under the portico of the Academy.under the portico of the Academy.(From Edith Wharton, (From Edith Wharton, The Age of InnocenceThe Age of Innocence) )Exercise 60 Tom did play hooky, and he had a very good Tom did play hooky, and he had a very good time. He got back home barely in season to help time. He got back home barely in season to help Jim, the small colored boy, saw next days wood Jim, the small colored boy, saw next days wood and split the kindlings before supper and split the kindlings before supper at lease at lease he was here in time to tell his adventures to Jim he was here in time to tell his adventures to Jim while Jim did three-fourths of the work. Toms while Jim did three-fourths of the work. Toms younger brother (or rather, half brother), Sid, younger brother (or rather, half brother), Sid, was already through with his part of the work was already through with his part of the work (picking up chips), for he was a quiet boy and (picking up chips), for he was a quiet boy and had no adventurous, troublesome ways.had no adventurous, troublesome ways.Exercise 60 (continued) While Tom was eating his supper, and stealing sugar While Tom was eating his supper, and stealing sugar as opportunity offered, Aunt Polly asked him questions as opportunity offered, Aunt Polly asked him questions that were full of guile, and very deep that were full of guile, and very deep for she wanted for she wanted to trap him into damaging revealments. Like many other to trap him into damaging revealments. Like many other simple-hearted souls, it was her pet vanity to believe she simple-hearted souls, it was her pet vanity to believe she was endowed with a talent for dark and mysterious was endowed with a talent for dark and mysterious diplomacy, and she loved to contemplate her most diplomacy, and she loved to contemplate her most transparent devices as marvels of low cunning.transparent devices as marvels of low cunning. (From Mark Twain, (From Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom SawyerThe Adventures of Tom Sawyer) )