WRITING WRITING 学校一日生活学校一日生活学校一日生活(05北京)讲评 美国中学生美国中学生Jeff将要来你所在的红星中学体验将要来你所在的红星中学体验生活、学习中文。假设你是李华，请给生活、学习中文。假设你是李华，请给Jeff写写一封信，按照下图顺序介绍他在学校一天的安排。一封信，按照下图顺序介绍他在学校一天的安排。 注意注意: 1.信的开头已为你写好。信的开头已为你写好。2.词数不少词数不少60。1234学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Key pointsGo to school by bikeHave Chinese classHave lunch in the dining-roomHave sports in the afternoonWays of going to schoolHaving classesLunchtime and breaksActivities 学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Evaluation 1) 是否覆盖了内容要点；是否覆盖了内容要点；2）是否运用的句式和词汇基本）是否运用的句式和词汇基本/能够能够满足任务要求；满足任务要求；3）是否语法和用词方面有一些错误，）是否语法和用词方面有一些错误，但不影响理解。但不影响理解。Mark & Correct!学校一日生活(05北京)讲评If you want to write a good passage, you should Give full details.Use proper conjunctions and conjunct sentences.第二档（第二档（15-17分）：分）：完全完成了试题规定的完全完成了试题规定的任务。覆盖了任务。覆盖了所有内容要点所有内容要点；运用的；运用的句式和词句式和词汇汇能满足任务的要求；语法和用词基本准确，能满足任务的要求；语法和用词基本准确，少许错误少许错误主要为主要为尽可能表达丰富的内容尽可能表达丰富的内容所致；所致； 使用了使用了简单的语句间连接成分简单的语句间连接成分，所写，所写内容连贯内容连贯。达到了预期的写作目的。达到了预期的写作目的。Enrich & Improve!学校一日生活(05北京)讲评 I have prepared a room for you in my house. Our school is quite close to my house, so we can go to school together by bike. The first class begins at 9 oclock. We will learn Chinese until 11:30. I can help you when you have difficulty. At noon we will have lunch in the dining-room. There are many kinds of Chinese food. Im sure you will love it. Whats more, you can make more friends and talk with them while you are enjoying your lunch. Possible version123Body:学校一日生活(05北京)讲评 In the afternoon, we can have fun with our classmates in the playground. If you like, we can play basketball, football or table-tennis. Also, there is a swimming pool in our school. We can go swimming as well. If you have any questions, please let me know. I will try my best to make yourself at home.4Ending:学校一日生活(05北京)讲评 I have prepared a room for you in my house. Our school is quite close to my house, so we can go to school together by bike. The first class begins at 9 oclock. We will learn Chinese until 11:30. I can help you when you have difficulty. At noon we will have lunch in the dining-room. There are many kinds of Chinese food. Im sure you will love it. Whats more, you can make more friends and talk with them while you are enjoying your lunch. Possible version123Body:学校一日生活(05北京)讲评 In the afternoon, we can have fun with our classmates in the playground. If you like, we can play basketball, football or table-tennis. Also, there is a swimming pool in our school. We can go swimming as well. If you have any questions, please let me know. I will try my best to make yourself at home.4Ending:学校一日生活(05北京)讲评WRITING WRITING 学校一日生活学校一日生活 讲评讲评学校一日生活(05北京)讲评时间顺序及其表达 记叙文：学校一日生活记叙文：学校一日生活学校一日生活(05北京)讲评You will go to school by bike with me in the morning. We will learn Chinese together from 9 to 11:30 a.m. We will have lunch in the dining room. You can make more friends while you are enjoying tasty Chinese food. You can do a variety of sports in the playground. Im sure you will love our school.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Youwillgotoschoolbybikewithmeinthemorning._WewilllearnChinesetogetherfrom9to11:30a.m._Wewillhavelunchinthediningroom._YoucanmakemorefriendswhileyouareenjoyingtastyChinesefood._Youcandoavarietyofsportsintheplayground.Imsureyouwillloveourschool.Afterthat,then,also,afterclass,afterlunch,inthemorning,atnoon,intheafternoonFrom9to11:30a.m.,Asforlunch,Duringlunchtime,Afterabusydayofstudy,Whenyoufinishyourstudy,Besides,Inthemeanwhile,学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Practice:OursocialpracticeonfarmLastThursday,we开班会讨论开班会讨论wheretogoforsocialpractice.We提出提出几种方案几种方案suchashelpingtheold,clearingtheboardsatbusstops,andvisitingafarm.Wedecidedtovisitafarm.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评We很早在校门口集合很早在校门口集合and出发出发. Thefarmers热情地欢迎我们热情地欢迎我们.Theheadofthefarmshowedusaround.Howgladweweretoseethecropsandvegetablesgrowingwell.Wehadapicniclunchinthesunshine.We玩得很开心玩得很开心singing,dancingandtellingjokesorstories.Twoofusevenplayedagameofchess.Wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Keys:heldaclassmeetingtodiscusscameupwithseveralchoicesmetattheschoolgateandsetoffgaveusawarmwelcomehadgreatfun/hadagreattime学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Coherence(连贯性连贯性)OursocialpracticeonfarmLastThursday,we开班会讨论开班会讨论wheretogoforsocialpractice.We提出提出几种方案几种方案suchashelpingtheold,clearingtheboardsatbusstops,andvisitingafarm.Wedecidedtovisitafarm.1学校一日生活(05北京)讲评We很早在校门口集合很早在校门口集合and出发出发. Thefarmers热情地欢迎我们热情地欢迎我们.Theheadofthefarmshowedusaround.Howgladweweretoseethecropsandvegetablesgrowingwell.Wehadapicniclunchinthesunshine.We玩得很开心玩得很开心singing,dancingandtellingjokesorstories.Twoofusevenplayedagameofchess.Wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.234567学校一日生活(05北京)讲评OursocialpracticeonfarmLastThursday,we开班会讨论开班会讨论wheretogoforsocialpractice.We提出提出几种方案几种方案suchashelpingtheold,clearingtheboardsatbusstops,andvisitingafarm._wedecidedtovisitafarm.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Thenextday,we很早在校门口集合很早在校门口集合and出发出发soon. _ thefarmers热情热情地欢迎我们地欢迎我们._theheadofthefarmshowedusaround.Howgladweweretoseethecropsandvegetablesgrowingwell._wehadapicniclunchinthesunshine._we很开心很开心singing,dancingandtellingjokesorstories.Twoofusevenplayedagameofchess._wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Themomentwearrived/Onourarrival, the farmers gave us a warm welcome Thenthe head of the farm showed us aroundAtnoonwe had a picnic lunch Afterashortrestwe had great fun singing Timepassedquickly/TimeflewBeforeweknewit,wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Good expressions 记叙文：学校一日生活记叙文：学校一日生活学校一日生活(05北京)讲评1Its only 5 minutes ride from my house to school, so every day we go to school by bike. 黄琳玥黄琳玥It is a good chance to enjoy the scenery. 韩昳琳韩昳琳Its also a good way to build up our body.安迪欣安迪欣学校一日生活(05北京)讲评1by bike. The morning in Beijing is very wonderful with clean air and warm sunshine. So, on your way to school you can relax yourself and prepared for the new day. 曹洪宇曹洪宇It is a convenient way to school and also helps us keep fit. 刘京刘京学校一日生活(05北京)讲评2Youll have Chinese class which is taught by a very experienced teacher from 9 to 11:30 a.m. 李春光李春光The teacher is very kind to students. She can help you when you have difficulty. 崔旭崔旭 郭冬梅郭冬梅 And you can communicate with my classmates who are very kind.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评2You will have two and a half hours to learn the beautiful language with us. All of our teachers are learned and patient. So you are sure to make great progress in Chinese. 康丽康丽Here youll learn more about Chinese and have a better idea of Chinese culture. 黄琳玥黄琳玥 高雅坤高雅坤学校一日生活(05北京)讲评3You can choose whatever you like to eat and chat with many new friends. 马艺琳马艺琳It is a good time to make some new friends and chat with them. 王嘉琳王嘉琳 刘彦强刘彦强I think you will like the delicious Chinese food there and also enjoy talking with friends. 丁珊丁珊学校一日生活(05北京)讲评3After class, we can have a variety of delicious Chinese food in the dining room. In the meanwhile, you can talk with some students, all of whom are friendly. 郜佳琪郜佳琪At noon we will have lunch in dining room, where not only can we taste a lot of delicious Chinese food but also make friends and chat with them. 刘宇刘宇学校一日生活(05北京)讲评3You can choose whatever you like here: dumplings, noodles and many kinds of snacks. Im sure that you will enjoy yourself with so many delicious dishes. When you finish your study, you can relax yourself by playing sports at the playground. Maybe you will like to learn how to play Pingpang with our classmates. It must be very interesting. 孙波孙波学校一日生活(05北京)讲评4As the member of our school table tennis team, I will teach you to play Pingpang if you like. 于浩于浩Youd better play table tennis because it is very popular in China. 刘彦强刘彦强学校一日生活(05北京)讲评4I think you will love playing table tennis, which is one of the special sports in China.高雅坤高雅坤,which will be a precious experience for you. 安迪欣安迪欣学校一日生活(05北京)讲评4In the afternoon, its time for sports! Its really a good chance to stretch your arms and legs after sitting in the classroom for a whole morning. You can either compete in table tennis with others or enjoy your time on the basketball field. Whats more, we have a swimming pool on campus. Its a good idea to relax yourself in it. 黄琳玥黄琳玥学校一日生活(05北京)讲评开头：开头：Here I will tell you what our school time will be like during your stay here. 黄琳玥黄琳玥You will lead a colorful life in our school while studying Chinese here. It is certain that you will have a good time on the one-day trip to our school. 学校一日生活(05北京)讲评结尾：结尾：Well try our best to make you have a pleasant experience in Beijing. 丁珊丁珊I hope you will be happy while you are in Beijing. 韩昳琳韩昳琳I believe it will be the greatest memory in your life. 储元储元After a whole day, you wont feel lonely any more because you have lots of friends and a new school life. 王潇潇王潇潇 李璇李璇学校一日生活(05北京)讲评话题 - 句型 记叙文记叙文 (看图看图) 1：Get pleasure & benefits学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Youll feel amazed at the beauty of the Chinese language and Chinese culture.It is a great chance to make new friends while enjoying delicious Chinese food.句句1.be/feelamazedat/struckbybe/feelpleasedthat句句2.Itisagreatchancetodo/giveusachancetodo学校一日生活(05北京)讲评TheGreatWallSnackstheSummerPalacePekingOpera学校一日生活(05北京)讲评1. be /feel amazed at be/feel pleased that2. It is a great chance to do /give us a chance to doStandingontheGreatWall/HavingbeentoldaboutthehistoryoftheGreatWall,Ifeltamazedattheworldwonder.WewatchedPekingOpera,whichgaveusawonderfulchancetoexperiencearealChineseartandculture.TheGreatWall;PekingOpera;Snacks;theSummerPalace学校一日生活(05北京)讲评1. be /feel amazed at be /feel pleased that2. It is a great chance to do /give us a chance to doWestrolledthroughtheFlavorStreet,whichisagreatchancetoexperiencewonderfulChinesefoodandculture.StrollingaroundtheSummerPalace,wewereamazedat/struckbytheuniquebeautyofancientChineseRoyalgardening.Snacks;theSummerPalace学校一日生活(05北京)讲评“和平友谊和平友谊”夏令营活动夏令营活动姓名姓名:王姗王姗性别性别:女女年龄年龄:16岁岁学校学校:北京阳光中学北京阳光中学其他其他:爱好音乐、摄影；善于与人交流，乐于助爱好音乐、摄影；善于与人交流，乐于助人；热爱自然，热爱和平。人；热爱自然，热爱和平。参加夏令营的目的：结交朋友，了解外国文化。参加夏令营的目的：结交朋友，了解外国文化。IwouldliketojointhePeace&FriendshipSummerCampsinceitwouldbeagreatopportunitytomakefriendswithyoungpeoplefromdifferentcountriesandlearnabouttheircultures.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评During this time, youll find how interesting Chinese is. You can learn more about our Chinese special culture. You are sure to get to know Chinese culture by chatting with others and making many friends. I think /feel it a good idea to communicate with others in Chinese during lunchtime.句句3.learnmoreabout/gettoknowbydoing句句4.think/feelitgreattodothink/feelitagoodidea/choicetodo学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Chinesebuilding/architectureChinesecultureandhistory;adigitalfilm;typicalplacesofinterestinBeijing;make/create;DIYarea学校一日生活(05北京)讲评WelearnedmoreaboutthedevelopmentofourChinesespecialarchitecture.WegottoknowourbrilliantChinesecultureandhistorybywatchingadigitalfilmontypicalplacesofinterestinBeijing.WegottoknowourfolkculturebymakingwhateverwelikeinDIYarea.Ithink/feelitgreattocreatemanynewthingsinDIYarea.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Although tired, we were happy and excited because we had gained so much knowledge.(太泛太泛)Through the activities, we came to realize the spirits of Leifeng. (更多句式？更多句式？)句句5.Weenjoysomuchthatwefelthappy()that/because句句6.bring/giveusarouseourinterest/desire学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Ending1:Weenjoyedsomuchthatwecouldnthelptalkingaboutwhatwehadexperienced.Ending3:TheactivitygavemeasenseofprideasaChinese.Moreimportantly,itarousedourgreatexcitementandinterestinourtraditionalcultureandcustom.Ending2:Wefelthappyandexcitedbecausewehadlearntbetteraboutourcultureandhistoryaswellashavelotsoffun.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Timeflew.Beforeweknewit,wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.WeTimeflew.Beforeweknewit,wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.Wefeltsohappyandexcitedthatwecouldnthelptalkingaboutwedexperienced.Timeflew.Beforeweknewit,wehadtosaygoodbyetotheworkers.Wefeltsohappyandexcitedabouttheunforgettableexperience.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评话题 - 句型 记叙文记叙文 (看图看图) 2：Help others & contributions学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Gifts?A good deed? 假设你是红星中学高三一班的李华，上周你们班组织了一次假设你是红星中学高三一班的李华，上周你们班组织了一次感谢恩师的活动。请根据下面图示，为学校网站写一篇英文稿感谢恩师的活动。请根据下面图示，为学校网站写一篇英文稿件，叙述这次活动从准备到结束的完整过程。件，叙述这次活动从准备到结束的完整过程。学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Evaluation 1) 是否覆盖了是否覆盖了内容要点内容要点；2）是否运用的）是否运用的句式和词汇句式和词汇基本基本/能够能够满足任务要求；满足任务要求；3）是否语法和用词方面有一些）是否语法和用词方面有一些错误错误，但不影响理解。但不影响理解。Mark & Correct!学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Examplepassage:StudentVolunteersBroughtSunshinetotheElderlyOnMayDay,LiYueandZhangHua,studentsfromClassThree,GradeTwo,wenttoSunshineNursingHomeanddidsomevoluntarywork.Upontheirarrival,LiYueandZhangHuawerewarmlywelcomed.Andrespectfully,theypresentedtheelderlywithflowersandfruits,whichwouldbegoodfortheirhealth.Then,theystartedworkingatonce,cleaningthewindowsandsweepingthefloorsothattheywouldliveinatidyenvironment.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Everythingdone,theysatintheyardchattingwiththeelderlypeople,sharinginterestingstoriesandbringingthemlaughter.Whenitwastimeforthevolunteerstoleave,theelderlypeoplethankedthemfortheirkindness.Theysaiditwassuchabeautifuldaythattheywouldrememberitforever.LiYueandZhangHuafeltveryhappytolearnwhatresponsibilitymeans.Whattheydidhasbroughtjoytoothersandenrichedtheirownlivesaswell.By Chen Jie, School Newspaper学校一日生活(05北京)讲评活动活动 (送水果、打扫、聊天送水果、打扫、聊天) Upontheirarrival,LiYueandZhangHuawerewarmlywelcomed.Andrespectfully,theypresentedtheelderlywithflowersandfruits,whichwouldbegoodfortheirhealth.Then,theystartedworkingatonce,cleaningthewindowsandsweepingthefloorsothattheywouldliveinatidyenvironment.Everythingdone,theysatintheyardchattingwiththeelderlypeople,sharinginterestingstoriesandbringingthemlaughter.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Upontheirarrival,LiYueandZhangHuawerewarmlywelcomed.Andrespectfully,theypresentedtheelderlywithflowersandfruits,whichwouldbegoodfortheirhealth.Then,theystartedworkingatonce,cleaningthewindowsandsweepingthefloorsothattheywouldliveinatidyenvironment.Everythingdone,theysatintheyardchattingwiththeelderlypeople,sharinginterestingstoriesandbringingthemlaughter.主题主题(tothepoint)和连贯性和连贯性(coherence)活动活动 (送水果、打扫、聊天送水果、打扫、聊天) 学校一日生活(05北京)讲评简短评论简短评论 Whenitwastimeforthevolunteerstoleave,theelderlypeoplethankedthemfortheirkindness.Theysaiditwassuchabeautifuldaythattheywouldrememberitforever.LiYueandZhangHuawereveryhappy.Whattheydidhasbroughtjoytoothersandenrichedtheirownlivesaswell.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Whenitwastimeforthevolunteerstoleave,theelderlypeoplethankedthemfortheirkindness.Theysaiditwassuchabeautifuldaythattheywouldrememberitforever.LiYueandZhangHuafeltveryhappytolearnwhatresponsibilitymeans.Whattheydidhasbroughtjoytoothersandenrichedtheirownlivesaswell.立意立意(whattheactivitymeans)简短评论简短评论 学校一日生活(05北京)讲评If you want to write a good passage, you should Give full details to the point.Use proper conjunctions and conjunct sentences.第二档（第二档（15-17分）：分）：完全完成了试题规定的完全完成了试题规定的任务。覆盖了任务。覆盖了所有内容要点所有内容要点；运用的；运用的句式和词句式和词汇汇能满足任务的要求；语法和用词基本准确，能满足任务的要求；语法和用词基本准确，少许错误少许错误主要为主要为尽可能表达丰富的内容尽可能表达丰富的内容所致；所致； 使用了使用了简单的语句间连接成分简单的语句间连接成分，所写，所写内容连贯内容连贯。达到了预期的写作目的。达到了预期的写作目的。Enrich & Improve!学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Possibleversion:Lastweekourclassorganizedanactivitytothankourteachersbeforegraduation.OnThursdaywehadaclassmeetingtodiscusswhattodo.Wecameupwithmanygoodideas.Thenwedecidedtosendthemgiftsanddosomegooddeeds.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Thenextdaywecarriedoutourplan.Someofuscleanedtheteachersofficeanddecorateditwithpotsofflowerssothatitwouldbemorecomfortablefortheteacherstoworkin.Othershelpedwashthecarsorbikes.Andstillothersgavewell-preparedgiftstotheteachers,showingourdeepadmirationandthankstoourlovedteacher.Weallfelthappyaboutwhatwehaddoneforourteachers.Itishightimeforustopaybackourteachersfortheirgreatefforts.学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Thank you!学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Dear Harry, How are things going with you? Today Im writing to you about the changes that have taken place in our life since the policy “Reduce unnecessary burden for more effective learning” was carried out. Classes used to begin very early in the morning so we had to go to school without breakfast, which more or less affected our health and studies in class. But now we get up at half past 6 and have enough 东城东城09一模（减负增效）一模（减负增效）学校一日生活(05北京)讲评time to have breakfast. Now we have an hour for sports each day. We can take whatever exercises or sport we like. After that we feel relaxed and very energetic in class. Apart from that, we also have a variety of out-of-class activities such as going mountain climbing, or holding an art festival in which gifted students sing and dance or play a drama. Furthermore, as unnecessary burden is reduced, we have less homework to do in the evening, so东城东城09一模（减负增效）一模（减负增效）学校一日生活(05北京)讲评as a result, we have time to do whatever we are interested in, such as surfing the Internet for useful information, playing some computer games for relaxation. No longer do we have to stay up late, and we can go to bed at 11. Oh, its time for bed, so I have to stop here. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Li Hua东城东城09一模（减负增效）一模（减负增效）学校一日生活(05北京)讲评Standing on the Great Wall, I feel amazed at the world wonder.We watched Peking Opera, which gave us a wonderful chance to experience a real Chinese culture. 西城西城09一模（游览北京）一模（游览北京）学校一日生活(05北京)讲评