Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eChapter 7Persuasive MessagesMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eOpeningObtain the readers attention and interest.BodyExplain logically and concisely the purpose of your request.Reduce resistance with counterarguments; establish credibility.Writing Plan for a Persuasive RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eWriting Plan for a Persuasive RequestClosingAsk for a particular action.Make it easy to respond.Show courtesy and respect.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6ePersuasive Request Four-Paragraph LetterParagraph 1. Obtain the readers attention.Paragraph 2. Give background situation at your place of work.Paragraph 3. Give information on how other companies handle the situation.Paragraph 4. Close with an action end-date. Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eBegin with a compliment, point of agreement, statement of the problem, or brief review of action you have taken to resolve the problem.Provide identifying data.Explain why the receiver is responsible.Tips for ComplaintsMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eEnclose document copies supporting your claim.Appeal to the receivers fairness, ethical and legal responsibilities, and desire for customer satisfaction.Describe your feelings and your disappointment.Tips for ComplaintsMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eTips for ComplaintsAvoid sounding angry, emotional, or irrational.Close by telling exactly what you want done.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eMr. John M. WatsonRetail Credit DepartmentUnion National BankP. O. Box 2051Little Rock, AR 72203 Dear Mr. Watson:You have charged my wifes Visa account with erroneous over-the-limit charges that are quite unfair, and I am very upset about it.Ineffective Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eHow can we be charged with over-the-limit charges when nearly every one of the charges was approved? We dont keep a running record of our Visa account and all our credit purchases on it, so we did not know that we were close to the limit. Between August 7 and September 27 we made 12 purchases. We were charged a $10 fee for each of these 12 transactions because we exceeded our credit limit. However, 10 of these transactions were phoned in for approval, and ALL WERE APPROVED! Why were they approved if we were over our credit limit? Obviously, we would not have continued to make purchases if we had known we were over our limit.Ineffective Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eItseemstomethatyourapprovalsystemisatfaulthere.Andwhyarentnewcardholdersinformedofyourrules?Thechargeswemadeexceedingthelimitwereclearlyunintentional.Furthermore,ouractionsweremadeonthebasisofmisinformationanderrorsonthepartofyourcreditprocessors.Angrilyyours,Ineffective Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eDiscussion:1. Does the opening obtain the readers attention in a positive manner?2. Why does the writer think that the $120 penalty is unreasonable? Does the writer offer convincing reasons? Are they logically presented?3. Does the writer try to blame the bank for the penalty?Ineffective Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eDiscussion:4. What action does the writer seek? 5. Is that action clearly stated?6. Does the letter show courtesy and respect?7. How would you feel if you were the receiver?Ineffective Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eDear Mr. Watson:SUBJECT: “Over-the-Limit Credit Card ChargesBecause of the wide acceptance of the Visa credit card and because of your banks attractive interest rate, my wife and I were eager to become cardholders two years ago. Recently, however, we experienced a charge to our account that we would like to discuss with you.Between the period of August 7 and September 27, we made 12Improved Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6esmall purchases. Ten of these purchases were given telephone approval. When we received our last statement, a copy of which is enclosed, we were surprised to see that we were charged $10 each for these purchases because our account was over our limit. The total charge was $120.Of course, we should have been more aware of our limit and the number of charges that we were making against our account. We assumed, however, that if our purchases received telephone approval from your credit processors, we were still within our credit limit.Improved Persuasive Request LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eImproved Persuasive Request LetterPlease examine our account, Mr. Watson, and reconsider this penalty. Since we have never exceeded our credit limit in the past and since we had received telephone approval for most of the charges in question, we feel that the $120 charge should be removed.Sincerely,Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e1. About 15 months ago your smooth-talking salesperson seduced us into buying your Model RX copier, which has been nothing but trouble ever since.2. If you will check your records, you will undoubtedly discover that we first obtained our model RX copier 15 months ago. It was installed in our Legal Department.Which of the following openings are effective?Good and Bad Openings for Persuasive RequestsMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e3. When we purchased our Model RX copier 15 months ago, we had high expectations for its performance.4. We need a speaker for our graduation ceremony, and your name was suggested.5. Would you be able to speak at our graduation ceremony on June 7?Which of the following openings are effective?Good and Bad Openings for Persuasive RequestsMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eGood and Bad Openings for Persuasive Requests6. We realize that you are an extremely busy individual and that you must be booked up months in advance, but would it be possible for you to speak at our graduation ceremony on June 7?7. You were voted by our students as the speaker they would most like to hear at graduation on June 7.Which of the following openings are effective?Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eHonorable David H. DavisCalifornia House of RepresentativesSacramento, CA 95030Dear Mr. Davis:Would you be interested in speaking to the students at Foothill College?If you would be in town on April 16, our Associated Student Organization is having a Career Awareness Day. Many of ourIneffective Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e15,000 students (and most are registered voters in your district) will be attending this function where three major speakers have been invited. We hope to find good speakers from industry, education, and politics. Our ASO voted you the politician they would most like to hear. We could offer you 30 minutes to impart information about politics as a career, its rewards, and its punishments. Our Career Awareness Day will contain information booths; students can talk about careers and learn about them at theseIneffective Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6ebooths.Thenthethreespeakerswillfollowtheseboothsat12noonintheCampusCenter.LetmeknowbyMarch15ifyoudliketobeoneofourspeakers.Wedenjoyhavingyouanditcouldbegoodforyou,too.Ifyouletmeknowearlyenough,wecangetsomepublicityout.Sincerely,Ineffective Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e1. Starts out directly with a question that could be answered negatively2. Provides an easy excuse for refusal (in second sentence)3. Fails to emphasize reader benefits (opportunity to influence 15,000 potential voters)Discuss the faults in the previous letter.Ineffective Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e4. Lacks unity in sentences and paragraphs5. Focuses on writers viewpoint rather than on readers6. Uses imprecise words and inappropriate syntax7. Closes without making it easy for reader to grant favorDiscuss the faults in the previous letter.Ineffective Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eHonorableDavidH.DavisCaliforniaHouseofRepresentativesSacramento,CA95030DearMr.Davis:Over15,000studentsattendFoothillCollege,andmanyareregisteredvotersinyourdistrict.OnThursday,April16,youwillbeabletointroduceyourselftothesepotentialvotersattheAssociatedStudentOrganizationsCareerAwarenessDay.OnthisdayweplantohavethreemajorImproved Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6espeakers representing industry, education, and politics. Our Career Awareness Day features information booths where students may learn more about specific careers. The program culminates with the major addresses given in the Campus Center at 12 noon.As one of the three featured speakers, you would have 30 minutes to describe a career in politics and its rewards and possible drawbacks. You were selected by our ASO as the politician they would most like to hear.To give Foothill students an opportunity to meet you and to learnabout a career in politics, please call me at 320-5832 to confirmImproved Favor RequestMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eImproved Favor Requestthis speaking engagement. We will need your approval by March 15 so that appropriate publicity may be prepared.Cordially,Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eOpeningCapture the attention of the reader.Body Paragraph 2Emphasize a central selling point and the benefits of the product or idea. Appeal to the needs of the reader.Create a desire for the product.Body Paragraph 3Give proof. State the number of individuals who have used the project. Suggest research shows that the product is helpful. ETC.Writing Plan for a Sales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eWriting Plan for a Sales LetterClosingStimulate the reader to act.Indicate a special offer and date for the action. Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eSales Four-Paragraph Letter-SUMMARYParagraph 1. Get attention so reader will continue reading the letter.Paragraph 2. Give benefits of the product.Paragraph 3. Give proof. For example, indicate how many sales have been made or what research shows about the product.Paragraph 4. Close and get action. Use an end date. Offer an incentive to purchase early.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e1. OfferFollow my entry instructions, and you could be the sole winner of ONE MILLION DOLLARS!2. Product FeatureSix Omaha steak filets from fine, corn-fed beef can be yours for only $62.95.Attention-Getters for Sales LettersMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e 3. QuestionDo you yearn for an honest, fulfilling relationship?4. Startling StatementDrunk drivers injure or cripple more than 500,000 victims every year!Attention-Getters for Sales LettersMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eAttention-Getters for Sales Letters 5. StoryTommy G. doesnt live in a neighborhood like yours. He has grown up in a neighborhood with dirty alleyways and drug dealers. If only he could go to camp, hed see how beautiful life can be.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eDear Camera Owner:Hi! Im Jim Johnson and Im asking you to continue to use Kent Color Labs for the processing of your film.Weve been in business for a long time and our customers tell us they are quite satisfied with our service and the quality of our processing.We feel that you cant get better prices anywhere. We are also very proud of our guarantee. No matter what we receive from you, youIneffective Sales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eIneffective Sales Letterdont risk a cent.We offer a whole range of other services-reprints, posters, slides, disks, and much more. Furthermore, we are very careful with your film; we treat it as we treat our own.Are you tired of asking yourself, Where should I get my film developed? Well, Kent Color labs is the place to go. We rely on the U.S. mail for our business, and this letter is our way of asking for your business. Send us your next roll of film to be developed as soon as you finish it.Sincerely,Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e1. Does the opening grab your attention?2. Is a central selling point developed?3. Is the letter written from the readers perspective?4. Should this letter develop rational or emotional appeals?Discussion for Ineffective Sales Letter to Camera OwnerMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eDiscussion for Ineffective Sales Letter to Camera Owner5. Does the letter use concrete examples?6. Does it build confidence in the product or service?7. Does it stimulate action in the closing?8. Does this letter show PROOF?Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eDear Camera Owner:Amy Evans, of Houston, Texas, recently wrote to us saying, I just wanted to let you know that the pictures you developed for me earlier were the best pictures I have ever received. And I cant believe I received them so quickly!If you are looking for quality film developing, speedy turnaround, and, most importantly, reliabilityconsider Kent Color Labs. Heres why our customers keep returning: You get low film processing prices and excellent quality.Improved Sales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eYougetawholerangeofservicesreprints,enlargements,giantphotoposters,walletphotos,slides,movies,discs,andmore.Yougetfilmmailingenvelopesmanufacturedfromspeciallong-fiberedpapermakingthemstrongerthannormalenvelopes.Yougetconveniencenomorestandinginlineatthedrugstoreorcamerastore.Anditsfuntoreceivemail!Werebestknown,however,forourreliability.Wevebeeninbusinessformorethan47years.Theminutewereceiveyourorder,itsprocessed!Youcancountonthateverytime.Improved Sales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eBecause were so certain that you will be pleased, we guarantee every roll of film. If youre not satisfied, simply return the whole package. We will cheerfully refund your money and send you free film and a coupon to get that film processed without charge. This is the best guarantee in the business.We want your business. Right now, finish that film in your camera. Grab a pen, fill out the enclosed mailer, and drop it in the mail.Sincerely,Improved Sales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eImproved Sales LetterP.S. If you respond within one week, well process your order at an additional savings of 20 percent.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eSales LetterDear Mrs. GarciaEnclosed please find the materials you requested for information on our electric scooters. For additional information, please visit our Web site at scooter.Our electric scooters feature the following accessories: red horns, adjustable seats, and 1.2 liter engines. In addition, the scooter come with a 5-year warranty to cover all engine parts!Scooter has been a global supplier of electric scooters since 1965 has offices in New York, Chicago, Shanghai, and London. We have served over 1000 customers.If you have any questions, please us at scooter or fax us at 888.555.8888. If you respond by July 1, 200-, you will receive a free horn.Sincerely(Remember to include the inside and return address along with the current date. Remember one idea per paragraph for ALL letters. Use full block; do not indent paragraphs.)Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eUnsolicited Sales LetterDear Mr. TomGeneral Electric is a primary user of our plastic products, and we invite you to become one of our customers!Our products include plastic materials, plastic assemblies and holding systems, and plastic connectors. For additional information, please visit our Web site at preisnerplastics. PreisnerPlastics has been a global supplier of plastic products since 1965 has offices in New York, Chicago, Shanghai, and London. We have served over 1000 customers.If you have any questions or wish us to send you “The Profile of PreisnerPlastics brochure, please us at preisner or fax us at 888.555.1111.SincerelyRemember to include the inside and return address along with the current date. Remember one idea per paragraph for ALL letters. Use full block; do not indent paragraphs.)Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eOnline Sales LettersDear Mr. PadillaLast week we received your name from an Internet list stating that you are interested in magnets and magnetic assemblies. LAMags is the company to fill your needs.As an experienced manufacturer and supplier of magnets, magnetic assemblies, and magnet health products, we invite you visit our Web site at LAMags for information on our lines of magnets. LAMags is a global supplier for magnetic products with offices in Los Angles, Bejing, and London. We have been in business since 1983 and have over 5000 satisfied customers.If you wish, please let us know if you would like us to send you “The Profile of LAMags brochure. We look forward to doing business with you in the future.SincerelyP.S.: We hope you enjoyed receiving this message. However, if you would rather not receive any future notices of this sort on , please let us know.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eTips for Writing Online Sales MessagesSend only targeted, never “blanket mailings.Strive to create relationship with receivers; offer something special just for them.Keep the message short and conversational.Focus on the “you view.Develop only one or two central selling points.Make it easy to respond.Convey a tone of sincerity.Provide a means for being removed from mailing list.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e1.Atwhataudienceistheletteraimed?2.Istheappealemotionalorrational?Istheappealeffective?3.Istheopeningeffective?4.Whattechniquescapturethereadersattention?Checklist for Analyzing aSales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e5.Isacentralsellingpointemphasized?6.Doestheletteremphasizereaderbenefits?7.Whataresomeexamplesofconcretelanguage?Checklist for Analyzing aSales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e 8. How is confidence in the product or service developed? 9. How is price introduced?10. What action is to be taken and how is the reader motivated to take that action?Checklist for Analyzing aSales LetterMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6ePersuasive Request LetterCompaniesareconstantlydevelopingnewprogramstogivethemselvesacompetitiveadvantage.Programssuchasinternshipsarebeingimplementedbymoreandmorecompanieseachyear.Internshipscanprovidesubstantialbenefitsnotonlytotheintern,buttothecompanyaswell.Therefore,IamelectingthatweimplementaninternshipprogramatRobinsonsMay.Internshipsoffermanyprofessionaladvantages,theseadvantagesconsistof:freelabor,freeemployeebenefits,helpwithseasonalworkloaddemands,andfutureemployeerecruitment.Throughinternships,thecompanycangainareputationamongcollegestudentsandacquiregoodpublicrelations.Ifinternsarerecruitedtothecompanyaftergraduation,thecompanycanspendlessmoneyontherecruitmentandtrainingprocess.Theadvantagesthatinternsreceivearebeneficialtothemaswell.Internshavetheabilitytoworkinaprofessionalatmosphere,gainworkexperienceintheirprofessionalfield,receivecollegecredit,becomeprospectiveemployees,andresumenotation.Researchshowsthatinternsmakededicatedemployeesthatarewillingtoperformbecausetheywantthepotentialemploymentopportunity.AsresearchedinTheGaltGlobalReview,internsalsogivevaluableinputbecausetheyhavefreshideasthattheyarewillingtoshare.Individualsthatarewillingtobeinternsaremorelikelytoresearchthecompanyextensively,thusbeingcandidatesthataretrulyinterestedintheposition.ResearchconductedbytheNationalAssociationofCollegesandEmployersshowsthat82.5%ofcompaniesofferinternshipprograms,givingthemthecompetitiveadvantage.Duetothebenefitsandresearchfindings,itisextremelyimportanttodiscussthematterofimplementinganinternshipprogramatRobinsonsMay.Ifyouhaveanyquestionsorwouldliketoscheduleameetinginordertodiscussthefeasibilityofthisprogram,pleasefeelfreetocontactmeatextension2521.Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eCollection StagesA collection message is used for business firms to collect overdue account. The two purposes of collection messages are 1) to collect the money due and 2) to retain goodwill with the customer.Collection messages are written in three stages: 1) reminder; 2) appeal; and 3) warning. Each stages is progressively more persuasive, and each stage has several steps. Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eCollection Letter/Persuasive RequestStep 2: AppealDear Mr. SmithOur Account Department records indicate that your account with us is now more than three months past due. We are very concerned that we have not yet heard from you, even though we have already sent you a reminder about this matter.You has been one of our best clients, and we value your business very much. If some special circumstances are preventing you from making payment, please call us at 888.555.0908 us abcorgmsnet so that we can discuss the situation with you.We are requesting that you send your payment of $407 in the enclosed envelope to us immediately. In this way you can preserve your excellent credit record with us.SincerelyMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6eEndMary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 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